BrainRants

SOCIAL SATURDAYS Vol 20

February 20, 2016 // 2 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of Grammy talk and Deadpool memes that is the web-net-inter-superhighway. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and if you’re not, please [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS Vol 18

February 6, 2016 // 9 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of rodents predicting the weather and Peyton Manning memes that is the webs of the net. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and if [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME 17

January 30, 2016 // 10 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of Twitter wars and life hack memes that is the world web net surfing thing. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and if you’re [Click For More]

LAP’s 2016 Super Bowl Thoughts and Predictions

January 25, 2016 // 16 Comments

It’s that time of year again. The time when we go semi-cray-cray and start figuring out creative ways to avoid our day jobs before and after the Super Bowl. The off days before are to prepare awesome barbecue food and drink. The days after are to sleep, vomit and medicate ourselves past the annual epic hangover we should have earned on [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME 16

January 23, 2016 // 6 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of Oscar Boycotts and “Be like Bill” memes that is the wide world of webs. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME 14

January 9, 2016 // 6 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of cat videos and Nicolas Cage memes that is the world wide interwoven web (while you’re out living a real life and having a real job). You’re probably following most of them and clicking [Click For More]

Bold Predictions for 2016

December 31, 2015 // 2 Comments

2016 is almost upon us and the staff here at Long Awkward Pause decided to pull the Ouija board out of the LAP game closet, the Crystal Ball from under Ned’s cubicle, and the Tea Leaves from Blogdramedy’s favorite mug to try and predict what exactly is going to happen in the 2,016th year of the Common Era. By the way, 2016 has [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME Twelve

December 26, 2015 // 5 Comments

Have no fear, because in between seeing Star Wars and setting up Grinch traps, our staff this holiday week has not forsaken the vast frozen tundra of the world wide interweb. Social Saturdays is the feature where we find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME TEN

December 12, 2015 // 3 Comments

Just like our staff; the internet is open 24/7 and Social Saturdays is the feature where we find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Snapchatting, or Emailing during those long lonely hours. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like or fav or heart [Click For More]

Dumb Stuff the Weather Guy Says

November 30, 2015 // 36 Comments

Winter is coming – everyone’s least favorite season. Between the snow and cold, we get to deal with falling on our asses because of ice, and shoveling tons of white crap off our walkways. Unless you live in Florida, of course. I excluded California since they shovel tons of white shit year-round. Weather people are supposed to [Click For More]

Happy Thanksgiving 2015

November 26, 2015 // 2 Comments

As another Thanksgiving comes and goes, with the smell of turkey and over zealous pigskin testosterone filling the air, plus the promise of Black Friday starting on a Thursday…around 6 pm…looming ahead of us like bright shiny gold filled gum drops dropped by a half naked pudgy baby…we at Long Awkward Pause are thankful [Click For More]

Homecoming Season Advice

November 5, 2015 // 15 Comments

I came out of my cave and realized that we’re getting close to homecoming and/or prom season and other holiday-related date situation seasons. By the way, the sun was really bright. It hurt. Moving on… I decided that all of the LAP Angry Dads out there (you know who you are) need a helpful guide to this perilous time of the [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Four

October 10, 2015 // 32 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Pope Stalking, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Three

October 3, 2015 // 20 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Noodling, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re not, [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume One

September 19, 2015 // 24 Comments

First there was the Saturday Six….and people liked it. And it went on for a year or so. And then the themes starting drying up and the numbers starting dropping, but generally people still liked it. But we at the Pause decided to pull it. We got emails. “Where is the Saturday Six?! There is nothing good on Saturdays! I’m going to [Click For More]

The Sisterwives Mistakenly Interview Us

September 15, 2015 // 25 Comments

There is a group of powerful women writers who have collected together and formed the website: The Sisterwives. Should it be whom have collected? I don’t know. The grammar police will email me soon. They always do. I probably should have paid more attention in English class, but alas I have always run away from the thought of putting words [Click For More]

Word Has It

August 31, 2015 // 12 Comments

One fun annual event you might be unaware of is the Oxford English Dictionary’s release of new words. This announcement always entertains. At the same time, it can be frightening because you can think of it as a thermostat of how fast we’re dumbing the hell out of ourselves. Srsly. But on to the awesomesauce! You can read the entire [Click For More]

Heavenly Bodies

July 27, 2015 // 22 Comments

Long Awkward Pause readers are hip, informed and intelligent people. Because this is true, you like to Science, and I’ve been assigned an article to expand your universe. At least to bring space to your place. So I’m about to get all Neil deGrasse Tyson here. Maybe you thought by reading the title that this post would feature boobs. I [Click For More]

Father’s Day – A How-To Guide

June 20, 2015 // 19 Comments

Tomorrow is Father’s Day. Like other important holidays such as Arbor Day or National G-String Day, LAP wants to provide our expert advice to you, gentle reader, on how to properly celebrate Father’s Day with your father. Here’s [Click For More]

2015 Advice To Graduates

May 27, 2015 // 24 Comments

Howard the manager got a request for a graduation speaker. I was not his first choice to fill the ticket. Actually I think he tried to get a guest blogger when the rest of the staff were busy, but the email found my inbox. He cautioned me about not making a scene or something like that, with words about student protests and such. Anyway, I [Click For More]