Pluto is huge news. Well, relatively speaking. At least we’ve nailed down that it’s the largest object out past Neptune as far as we know. Pluto edged out Eris, another plutoid (see what being king of the dwarf planets gets you?), for having the most size. This made Pluto feel a bit better after being demoted from planet status. Word has it, though, that when NASA informed Pluto that it was no longer a planet because it wasn’t big enough, Pluto came back with, “Your mom thought I was big enough.”
In fact, there is more and more shit scattered out there with Pluto than we ever imagined. The powers that be have set to naming them all, and frankly I think we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel. Makemake? Haumea? And then Quaoar. I need a class on how to pronounce, Quaoar. Three words: Two. Freaking. Consonants. No offense to Polynesians, y’all. And in my opinion, Orcus sounds like a lame metal band from Florida. I’m thinking that ‘2007 OR’ we should just name ‘Steve.’ When we find more, we could go with ‘Barry’ and then ‘Phil.’
Here in the solar system, we’ve found out that even Mercury has water, Mars and Titan (Saturn’s moon) might have organic stuff on them, and Jupiter has kick-ass moons. One comes with volcanoes, another with an underground ocean, sort of. While Jupiter and Saturn have a brag-off about their moons, Uranus is enjoying a well-deserved break from being the literal butt of all solar system jokes. I won’t bother driving that joke home – you all don’t need poked to get it.
Boobs? Not so much. Informative? You be the judge.
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