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christopher de voss

SOCIAL SATURDAYS Vol 19

February 13, 2016 // 2 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of Kanye Album name changes and Valentine’s Day memes that is the interwebnet. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and if you’re not, [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS Vol 18

February 6, 2016 // 9 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of rodents predicting the weather and Peyton Manning memes that is the webs of the net. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and if [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME 17

January 30, 2016 // 10 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of Twitter wars and life hack memes that is the world web net surfing thing. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and if you’re [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME 14

January 9, 2016 // 6 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of cat videos and Nicolas Cage memes that is the world wide interwoven web (while you’re out living a real life and having a real job). You’re probably following most of them and clicking [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME THIRTEEN

January 2, 2016 // 2 Comments

  Social Saturdays is the feature where we find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Snapchatting, or Emailing while you’re out living a real life and having a real job. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like or fav or heart or whatever it is now [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME Twelve

December 26, 2015 // 5 Comments

  Have no fear, because in between seeing Star Wars and setting up Grinch traps, our staff this holiday week has not forsaken the vast frozen tundra of the world wide interweb. Social Saturdays is the feature where we find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, [Click For More]

Megacon Fan Days 2015 (The Mini Convention That Roared)

December 1, 2015 // 10 Comments

You have been standing in line for an hour. Ahead of you sits three kids wearing pokemon hats, two grown adults dressed as Captain American, four Norman Reedus clones and a partridge in a pear tree. Also, there is someone who looks like a cross between the Incredible Hulk and Spider-man. But you are not sure… You ask him. Yes. He is [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME EIGHT

November 21, 2015 // 3 Comments

It’s time for another installment of: Social Saturdays! Social Saturdays is the feature where we find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Snapchatting, or Emailing lately. Hell, I think one of us is still on Friendster. You’re probably following most of them [Click For More]

My Interview With A Long Awkward Pause Hater

October 26, 2015 // 18 Comments

Not everybody is going to like what you do, and that’s fine. Art comes in many forms and if we all liked the same style of it, then the world would be a rather boring place. Imagine if nothing but romance novels, country music, 18th century French paintings, and boxed wine were all we had…. I know about 6 of you just said, “Hell [Click For More]

Mars + Facebook Down = End Of The World

October 1, 2015 // 24 Comments

“There is water on Mars! There is water on Mars!” screamed Lidia, our present secretary here at the offices of Long Awkward Pause. Lidia generally has time for such revelations because all she does all day is check Facebook and play Candy Crush. To her defense, there is not much else to do. We generally do not receive a whole lot of [Click For More]

Interview With Actress Stacey Shevlin

September 23, 2015 // 12 Comments

The flight from Orlando to Los Angeles was long. The Flight Attendants would not give me a second bag of pretzels even though I explained to them that I was just traveling for a quick interview of an up and coming Actress/Director/Producer, and I had only a few hours in LA and had to turn immediately back around and fly home to Orlando, Fl. They [Click For More]

Shrek – The Sheep That Shorn The Shear

September 14, 2015 // 12 Comments

This is the Sheep, Shrek. Or as he is known to his friends: Shrek the Sheep. He lives in New Zealand and enjoys long walks on the beach, Mai Tais, Three’s Company reruns, and sunsets. What he doesn’t like is getting his hair cut. Shrek hated getting his hair cuts so much that he hid out in a cave for six years to avoid [Click For More]

Back To Ohio – A Report

August 21, 2015 // 10 Comments

I WENT BACK TO OHIO BUT MY CITY WAS GONE THERE WAS NO TRAIN STATION THERE WAS NO DOWNTOWN SOUTH HOWARD HAD DISAPPEARED ALL MY FAVORITE PLACES MY CITY HAD BEEN PULLED DOWN REDUCED TO PARKING SPACES A, O, WAY TO GO OHIO —The Pretenders “My City Was Gone” It was a long drive back, but it was overdue. The trip took 14 hours by car or [Click For More]

Who Doesn’t Want To Date A Droid?

August 17, 2015 // 18 Comments

Her: “Are you ready for our big date tonight? Him: “Getting there…what are you going to wear?” Her: “I’m going to try something new. Cover Girl just came out with this interesting line of makeup. I’m going to give it a shot.” Him: “Oh yeah?” Her: “Yes! I really think you’re [Click For More]

Who Said That?! Lincoln, Trump, or Ramsay

August 10, 2015 // 10 Comments

It’s time to play everyone’s favorite game… Who Said That?! Lincoln, Trump, Or Ramsay How it’s played: In each box will be a quote made famous by either: Beloved 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln: Real Estate Tycoon and running for the GOP nomination, Donald Trump: or TV Chef, Gordon [Click For More]

The Bible Of Secret Fast Food Menus

July 23, 2015 // 16 Comments

In the begining… Harry Synder created In-N-Out Burger, and he said “Let there be burgers and fries and shakes and let it be good.” And the public said it was good. But the public is finicky and demanded special orders, and bun-less burgers, and meatless meats and Harry Synder saw unto this, and created the In-N-Out Burger [Click For More]

Top Staff Picks for Fiverr.com

July 20, 2015 // 24 Comments

If you are unfamiliar with Fiverr.com, it’s a website that allows people to offer their services for…well…5 bucks. You might find services like: People who will help you promote your web page. People who will design logos. People who will do video production. People who will help you design a meal. Or even people who will [Click For More]

I Was Denied An Interview With Mac Sabbath

July 15, 2015 // 7 Comments

I was in a dimly lit and small night club located off the main downtown drag…like seven blocks off to be exact. I’m pretty sure it was a Steak N’ Shake before someone decided it should be a club. A small stage stood against the back wall. It was wooden and oddly shaped. The owner’s brother-in-law probably had a hand it [Click For More]