Issue #16 February 2015

A RECAP OF THE 87TH ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

February 23, 2015 // 22 Comments

8:30p – We’re live with host Doogie Howser who is wearing a dashing tux. He welcomes us to the 87th Oscars and makes a joke about how white Hollywood is. This is followed immediately by a musical number because Neil Patrick Harris’ life is a walking Tony Award winning musical. 8:33p – Neil is joined on stage for the [Click For More]

After 50 Shades of Magic Mike, men are trying to recover their manhood

February 23, 2015 // 37 Comments

It was a tough week for the male persuasion. However, now that the 50 Shades of dust has settled, men are emerging from the proverbial rubble a bit shellshocked and checking for survivors. Not only did we go head-to-head with the release of 50 Shades, we were also flanked by Valentine’s Day AND word of a release date for “Magic Mike [Click For More]

To Be Celebrity or Not To Be Celebrity

February 20, 2015 // 7 Comments

Celebrities often get a bad rap. Why? Because often they are spoiled, rich and famous. Some even like to complain about being rich and famous. That is weird. Deep down though, who doesn’t wish they were one? It would be nice to have millions of adoring fans. It would also be nice to make headlines whenever you decided to alter our [Click For More]

LAP Interviews ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Moviegoers

February 19, 2015 // 12 Comments

Since the release of Fifty Shades of Grey over Valentine’s Day weekend, everyone’s been talking (at a volume low enough so that no one can actually hear them) about this cinematic interpretation of E.L. James’s seminal contribution to literature. We’ve all seen who’s reading Fifty Shades of Grey, but who’s willing to pay ten bucks [Click For More]

Spoiler Alert: Ted 2 Movie Trailer Review

February 16, 2015 // 6 Comments

America’s favorite beer-battered stuffed animal is back in theaters soon, which will be Seth MacFarlane’s second big-screen crack at animating a character that doesn’t sound exactly like Peter Griffin. The first installment of the series added Ted’s name to a growing list of other famous character bears including: Fozzie, Winnie, [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Stormtroopers Are People Too!

February 14, 2015 // 13 Comments

With the new Star Wars movie on the horizon, the Death Star Public Relations team is looking for ways to beef up the tainted image of the Galactic Empire. They say there is no such thing as bad press…but Darth Vader and company have a lot of ill feelings to try to patch. Plus they lost a lot of support in the Alderaan camp…like a [Click For More]

This Weekend’s Forecast: Sex and Wine

February 12, 2015 // 28 Comments

You know what’s happening this weekend is, don’t you? Let me give you a hint – it’s a special day that celebrates love. Many women have been waiting months for this day so that they can revel in a night of pure romance. Meanwhile, many men will be spending a night out with their significant others when they’d really just rather sit [Click For More]

Updated Cliches For The Social Media World

February 9, 2015 // 20 Comments

Cliches have been around for centuries. We all know them. We all use them. Some of us love them. Some of us love them too much. One subject cliches have yet to tackle is: Social Media! You know…Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, FarmersOnly.com, etc. We understand that most of these sayings were written around the same time that the Bible hit [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Creepy Vintage Valentine’s Day Cards

February 7, 2015 // 34 Comments

It’s that time of year to celebrate Love and Black History. And who doesn’t love black history? See what we did there? This week we are going to travel back in time. We are going to travel back to a much simpler era where life was grand, cars were a novelty, smoking was expected, and the women wore bathing suits like this: [Click For More]

Post Your Brian Williams Misrememberances Here.

February 6, 2015 // 78 Comments

Brian Williams. He said his helicopter was shot down, but now...not so much. Long Awkward Pause is your place to shoot Brian Williams down with your derisive misrememberances. [Click For More]

The LAP Guide to Valentine’s Day

February 2, 2015 // 41 Comments

Here at Long Awkward Pause, we like to think of ourselves as a full-service organization. At least that’s what our manager, Howard, says when he tells us to get him coffee. In the spirit of spreading that special Valentine’s Day feeling, the staff put together a short list of V-Day gifts that will give your objet de l’amour a [Click For More]