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Post Your Brian Williams Misrememberances Here.

Brian Williams. He said his helicopter was shot down, but now…not so much. Long Awkward Pause is your place to shoot Brian Williams down with your derisive misrememberances.

Bert, lending Brian Williams some credibility. (image via

Anchorman. It’s a job title that implies a measure of stability and reliability.

It implies reliability, but in the game that now passes for broadcast journalism in the United States, we can no longer count on that being the case on any channel. Time after time, network after network, we find that the people who we count on to bring us truth are only loosely acquainted with it.

In the latest instance, NBC anchor Brian Williams has admitted that he “made a mistake” about the facts surrounding a helicopter ride he took with members of the US military. On more than one occasion since 2003, when the incident Williams has described didn’t occur, he has described how the helicopter he was in was hit by rocket-propelled grenades and forced down in the desert.

Not surprisingly, when you misremember enough on national television, the people who do remember will often speak up. As you likely know by now, Mr. Williams is now admitting that his helicopter landed an hour after the one that was hit and forced down and was never hit by enemy fire.

Would we have had this admission if the military members involved remained silent? Doubtful. So not only do we owe these brave soldiers our gratitude for their service overseas, we should also be grateful to them for protecting the truth here at home.

And what of Mr. Williams? Well, he’s still on the job. Do we know if he’s telling us the truth? Not really. The only thing we are sure of is that Brian Williams hasn’t been in a helicopter that was hit with anything as dangerous as a rocket-propelled sponge-cake

Being shot at is a life changing event. We ask thousands of men and women in our military and police forces to do it on our behalf every day; they do it and never ask for our gratitude. A public figure who steals valor from those folks to glorify himself is worthy of derision.

And who does derision better than the staff and readers of Long Awkward Pause? No one. So, my friends, I am asking that each of you post in our comment section your best mistaken remembrance stories involving you and Brian Williams.

Wasn’t Brian the drunken best man who gave an obscene toast at a wedding you attended? I think I remember you telling me about that.

Or was he the aggressive panhandler who wanted to squeegee your car windows and then urinated on your tires when you waved him off?

I’m pretty sure Brian Williams was the hotel maid that was arrested for stealing a watch out of my luggage a few years ago, unless I’m mistaken…like Brian Williams was.

This man has abused your trust. It is only right that you fire your best misremembered recollections of your encounters at him through the comment section below.

Help us out, throw this up on your social media accounts so we can hear what other folks who don’t know about The Pause forgot what they don’t remember about Mr. Williams.



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78 Comments on Post Your Brian Williams Misrememberances Here.

  1. I am not sure,but I am pretty sure Brian Williams just saved the Haunted Star on General Hospital from being blown up–or it could have been Sonny–I get the two mixed up (on a more personal note–I have never really liked him–he is not very humble–obviously)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Brian Williams was my prom date. He was a vision in that powder blue tuxedo, but the tiara was a bit over the top. Thanks for letting me share that.

    Liked by 4 people

    • I’m glad we could help. The tiara was a bit much, but I must point out with some self-consciousness that the powder blue tux was cool in that era. Very cool.

      I’m betting he just drove up and blew the horn for you to come get in his car.


  3. Actually, I remember being with Brian Williams in that helicopter, and we did were fired at with an RPG. But then I saw Mr. Williams instantly change into a tight-fitting red and blue outfit with a cape, then jump out of the helicopter, fly towards the grenade, break it apart in flight with his fist, thus saving us all. He then flew back to the helicopter and asked us not to talk about it ever in the future.
    And I forgot about that part….

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you breaking his trust. We all know that he could never do anything to break OUR trust, could he?

      I’m sure that you realize that he destroyed the grenade for you. A mere grenade could not bring harm to one like him.


  4. Reblogged this on Blurt and commented:

    So, Brian Williams of NBC forgot to remember that he was never in a military helicopter in Iraq that was hit by a rocket propelled grenade. That poor man. There’s probably so many things that he mis-remembers. I wrote a post at Long Awkward Pause where you and everyone can post encounters you think maybe you might mis-remember having with Brian Williams. Isn’t he the guy that somehow messes up your sandwich at Subway even though you’re standing there watching him? Come on over and share the false truth about this pillar of journalistic integrity.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Me and Brian go waaaay back. There was this one time, at band camp…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Little known fact: Brian Williams once was driving in the Southwest, alone. He noticed two strange people at the side of the road. They turned out to be aliens, bent on the destruction of humanity in order to turn Earth into a 4-D version of their Rubik’s Cube. Brian, or as I call him, The Man, talked them out of it. They left to find a more suitable planet.


    • Damn it, that was close. If earth was a Rubik’s cube, those of us who survived would never be able to get a pizza delivered because our addresses would constantly be changing. Thanks for sharing this heroic misremeberance.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Sorry, that was Jonathan Frakes… I misremembered. What Brian ACTUALLY did was this: after delivering damning documents against GW Bush to Dan Rather, Dan asked why there was a bullet lodged deep in the stack of paper that described what a crappy USAF Reserve pilot President Bush was. Brian, hero that he is, had selflessly thrown himself between Hillary Clinton in Tuzla when her entourage came under fire. Through sheer luck, Brian – and Hillary – were spared by his brave yet reckless act.


  8. A few years back I was pulled out to sea by a riptide. I saw the fin of a great white shark appear in the water and knew I was doomed. Just as the shark lunged for me Brian Williams fell from the sky and did a hulk-like fist slam to the sharks back. This caused the shark to burst into 1,000 pieces. We took the shark pieces back to the shore and cooked them over a fire. We fed the whole island that night.


    • I remember that, because I was on vacation and had some of that shark. I don’t eat fish, but I made an exception because hey, Brian Williams killed and cooked it. It tasted like ice cream.


  9. I’ll never unforget the time Simon Bar Sinister had me tied to the tracks. I warbled out, “Oh where, oh where has my Lying Sack gone?” and quick like a bunny, humble and loveable Bri-Bri stopped shining shoes and became, in real life, Lying Sack. He didn’t actually fly to my rescue, but that’s not how he tells it.

    Money can’t buy mismemories like that. Oh, wait…


  10. I was with Brian Williams (if that IS his name) when he blew up the Death Star, which he not only designed and built, but also named. To think he not only did that, but also wrote and recorded that wonderful Tapestry album… I am in awe.


    • Little known fact about Tapestry, the instrumental parts are not actually musical instruments. He broke down the sound of the Death Star exploding and synthesized the pieces in to music.


  11. I remember when Brian Williams fought an army of like a million Persians and broke the back of their invasion.

    Before that, he parted an inland sea so he and his people could escape tyranny, and shortly after stopping the Persians, he died for our sins.

    And only a few years ago, he was the taxi driver in Tokyo who was responsible for me missing my flight home. I’ll never forgive him for that one.

    He’s also the current Pope.


  12. I forgot to remember what I think I didn’t know to begin with.


  13. Wow. This post brought to the surface a repressed memory I’m almost mostly positive really happened. So, true(ish) story: My grandmother and I were in the elevator of a trendy little boutique hotel in London, the name of which I conveniently still don’t remember, but I DO remember it was a really old style elevator with the wrought iron doors. So we get on the elevator, and there is Brian Williams in a French Maid outfit, looking a little rough, smelling of booze, with a well dressed British man. I thought it was him, but wasn’t 100% sure, until we started ascending and there was some sort of glitch with the elevator and it stopped suddenly, at which point Brian started screaming “We’re all gonna die!!” His escort/handler? tried to placate him but Williams grabbed the iron bars and continued to scream. I remember Gram saying “My goodness, you’re being silly, young -and then she paused- scrutinizing him more closely having not apparently realized this was a man- MAN!” Brian Williams then turned on her and let loose a string of obscenities. I particularly remember the phrase ” F you, lady. You don’t know who I am! You don’t know anything about me! I don’t read the news, I MAKE the f-ing news!!” It was horrible. Meanwhile, the elevator continued to the next floor where the Brit said. ” This way, Mr. Williams and pulled him, still yelling, out of the elevator. My grandmother and I were both so shaken we had some tea sent up to our room. Gram said ” This is exactly why I watch the McNeil/Lehrer News Hour! ” He swore at MY GRAM. And to think I’d forgotten….


  14. "We found him Captain" // February 6, 2015 at 2:09 pm //

    He beat the crap out of those Persians with the assbone of a turtle. This event was witnessed and can be verified by the Governor of New Jersey…….his name is..”….uh……uh..uh!! I’ll call you back with his name.


  15. "We found him Captain" // February 6, 2015 at 2:21 pm //

    I was in Spain once and got on an elevator with Brian Grumble aboard. That s.o.b. Never shuts up . I told him to shut up. I was carrying a potato mortar. So! He shut up when I told him to or I would have opened up on him with a spud. Thank you for listening .


  16. The only thing that comes close is taking fire n the tarmac in Bosnia in 1996. the man deserves to be President.


  17. Wasn’t he the guy on flight 799 just before flight 800 took off? Oh, that’s right, he was at the Pentagon doing an interview with a general when a plane hit ii 9/11/2001. Wasn’t his editor the son-in-law of some higher-up at Goldman-sachs and that b@#%@$d wouldn’t allow him to tell the truth on camera?


  18. I’m pretty sure he had an affair with one of those housewives from Beverly Hills or New York…whatever town he might have ended up in. He’ll deny this one, but I’m certain it’s true.


  19. Reblogged this on Misc. Maggie and commented:
    I think Brian Williams once drew a beard on my face with Sharpie pen.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I remember Brian once wet his bed after a big Sigma Chi party, he never could hold his Old Milwaukie.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I remember Brian Williams and I went to Vegas to get away and unwind. I wanted to gamble but Brian wanted to check out this secret swingers club. I went along under protest. After a couple of hours at the club we blacked out only to awake in a hot air balloon somewhere over Kuwait. The only thing we had on our bodies was hats made of fruit. Good times.


  22. I parked up against a building, and entered the convenience store. Exiting, he was right behind me, in a truck of all vehicles, telling me, “You gotta back out!” I was trapped in the parking lot for five minutes. Not very interesting, but true.

    (Okay, so it wasn’t Williams; he was hundreds of miles away, and it was my mother in the car, also miles away; but it might as well have been him. 😉 )


  23. Hahaha, these comments are cracking me up.


  24. I’m pretty sure I remember that the paternity test proved that Justin Bieber was indeed Brian Williams love child. Brian Williams has been secretly meeting his son in his Canadian love nest and training him how to behave as a public figure. This training has been going on for years but has been intensified in the past few years.


  25. I was on a freighter off the Ethiopian coast when two boatloads of pirates approached . Brian Williams was aboard our vessel doing a story about pets aboard ships . The pirates fired RPGs and WMDs and small arms fire while spitting at us and it looked like we would be taken . This is a trueish story , by the way . Williams suddenly jumped overboard , swam to one of the pirate craft , savagely beat the crew up with what appeared to be either a whalebone or a microphone , The other boat full of pirates took off and we were saved . When he got back aboard our ship , Brian Williams said only: ” It’s all in a day’s work .”


  26. When Brian willfully abused the truth, as well as the public trust, he also abused himself…in public. Now if I recall correctly, he was eventually expelled from the high school I attended for abusing himself in both the library and the cafeteria…(and I also kept a French-fry from the lunch that I was eating that day as proof, just in case you don’t believe me).
    P.S.: He also once told me he was the love-child of one of the popes, and that therefore everything he ever said was true by definition.
    I will miss Brian…and that’s at least as true as his word for it.
    Chazz Vincent


  27. Brian Williams played the saxophone on Gerry Raffetty’s Baker Street, commonly mis-attributed to Blockbuster’s Bob Holness.



    He’s a true friend and I will never forget when we took out Osama Bin Ladin together.


  29. I don’t think it’s right to be spreading any stories about him, since he’s not here to defend himself. Perhaps when he gets back from Jordan – I’m pretty sure he’s going after ISIS.


  30. Brian Williams wears see-through yoga pants. It’s (almost completely mostly) true! I was in yoga class with him (or it could have been any other man) last week, and I could see his Hello Kitty patterned briefs through the spandex.

    For the record, his form is horrible and his package is tiny.


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