Pinterest used to be about knitting, cooking, inspirational quotations, kittens, puppies, weddings, makeup and fashion. That’s when women ruled the Pinterest boards and everything was rainbows and unicorns on rainbows. Men thought Pinterest was stupid and gay… and women and gay people were OK with that.
“Let them think that. Stay away from our beloved cupcake-wearing-sweaters-picture-sharing site,” was the internal monologue of females everywhere.
Then some guy got the bright idea to post a picture of a hot woman showing a little too much cleavage and the flood gate of cars, beer, butts and boobs starting filtering into the feeds of macaroni art, designer scarves and high hair braids.
Was Pinterest ruined?
Did this new flock of testosterone boards about farts and hub caps taint the pristine landscape of a happy chocolate martini filled Pinterest?
Nah… it’s still mostly woman-ruled.
But now… as a bonus… manly men can secretly try to recreate cookie monster cupcakes without any one knowing about it.
1. Artistically-Enhanced Cookies
Omawarisan: Why would anyone go to this much trouble? Don’t they know there are whole tubes of cookie dough that you can cut the end off of and squeeze into your mouth?
BrainRants: I had something funny to say, but Oma’s comment… yeah, that. I’m concurring like a doctor.
Chris: I like all the cool looking cookies you see on Pinterest…then you try to duplicate them, like those mittens…and it ends up looking like a boxing glove instead,
Katie: I’m just alarmed anyone needs to be forced to buy a bag of Oreos.
Jack: Mmmmmmmm, Oreos… droooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
Ned: Sorry, but I’m just imagining the sounds of screaming children should those horribly disfigured Cookie Monster cupcakes ever make it into stores.
Calahan: I’m not sure that chocolate chip cookies should be listed under the ‘complicated cookie’ category. You buy the right Ben and Jerry’s flavor, leave it out in the sun until the ice cream is melted, take out the cookie dough pieces, throw them onto a piece of tinfoil and bake in the oven. How hard is that?
2. Working on my Six-Pack
Omawarisan: I find bicycle crunches hard on my molars.
BrainRants: I used to look like this. Now I don’t because I’m 45. Anyone my age who looks like this spends too much time in a gym worshiping themselves, so why would I want to date that? Besides, curves are so much more fun. Experience totally rocks.
Chris: I look like a bag of flour threw up.
Katie: I guess people who are in good shape never cover their stomachs.
Jack: At least this is ten times cheaper than buying a gym membership and then ignoring said membership.
Ned: I’ve discovered my wife is more turned on by me doing the laundry than having washboard abs, so yeah — I’m pumping those detergent jugs.
Calahan: I’ve just discovered that my wife is more turned on by Ned doing laundry than his having washboard abs. I don’t know how to feel about that.
3. Pretentious Pillows
Omawarisan: The other sides of these three pillows are all much cooler. [Editor’s Note: Like.]
BrainRants: What’s the use in throwing pillows? If – IF – I need your attention, I’ll throw a wrench or a running power tool at you.
Katie: See, I would think getting drool on these when you inevitably fall asleep on the couch would be a much more devastating blow than if the pillows didn’t have all kinds of different shit written on them. Bet they didn’t think of that.
Jack: I personally like it when I wake up in the morning and there’s an imprint of “Hakuna Matata” in reverse on my face.
Ned: These pillows take the sting out of throwing them at your dog for licking themselves when company is over.
Calahan: Hey, It’s-A-Good-Day-To-Be-Happy pillow, you may be right, but it will never be a good day to be a throw pillow. Middle pillow, nice to meet you. Hakuna Matata pillow, well, expect a visit from Disney’s legal firm. That will not be a good day to be happy, I can assure you.
Omawarisan: I pity the fool who has to ask why I keep my magnifying glass with my spatulas.
BrainRants: Best used for jelly and moonshine… at least one of these is close to correct. Maybe two if that’s jellied gasoline in the middle…
Katie: Ever since the mason jar became trendy, I’ve saved so much money on gift bags, vases, glasses, and bowls.
Ned: And what happens when some guy named Mason shows up asking for his jars back? Oh well, I guess it’s back to drinking my mojitos from those giant Costco pickle jars…
Calahan: I only ever use James Mason jars because they have a way cooler voice. James Mason jars turn your homemade hooch into Napoleon Brandy.
Chowderhead: Stop dumping out my jelly!!! Put your spoons in a drawer. Stop dumping out my jelly.
5. Cute Poop-Makers
Omawarisan: You can keep me from having a dog. You can’t stop me from marking my territory.
BrainRants: Dafuq is wrong with the animal on the right?!?
Katie: This tenant should be thanking their landlord for keeping lazy, depressed dogs out of the apartment complex.
Jack: Cue the Sarah McLachlan!
Ned: Hey, at least it’s not more damned cats.
Calahan: By your ‘lease’ you mean the agreement you have with your mom, right? The one written on a KFC napkin? The one that says that it’s just for a few months, until the band takes off and you become famous? Is that the ‘lease’ you mean?
6. Rembrandt in the Morning
BrainRants: I’m proud to live in a country where people can be worried about this kind of shit, as opposed to say, finding food or shelter.
Chris: You women spend so much wasted time on this…men don’t wear make up! Except David Bowie, Peter Gabriel, Kiss, and Dennis Rodman…
Katie: And like so many of those working towards an art degree, no one kindly suggested that the woman in the middle pursue something else.
Ned: I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure the one on the far right is the pattern Leatherface used.
Calahan: Make-up is kind of like CGI. It’s done well if you don’t notice it, but if it’s over-the-top or just done poorly, then that’s all you see.
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