Ned Hickson

SOCIAL SATURDAYS Vol 20

February 20, 2016 // 2 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of Grammy talk and Deadpool memes that is the web-net-inter-superhighway. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and if you’re not, please [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS Vol 18

February 6, 2016 // 9 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of rodents predicting the weather and Peyton Manning memes that is the webs of the net. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and if [Click For More]

See? We don’t know what Taco Bell’s new menu item is either

February 5, 2016 // 26 Comments

There are certain perks that come with being a syndicated columnist. For example, just last month at the Oregon Plumbling Convention, I was honored with delivering the opening plunge in the Northwest Clogged Commode competition. In terms of prestige, this is like ringing the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange. At least in the competitive [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME 17

January 30, 2016 // 10 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of Twitter wars and life hack memes that is the world web net surfing thing. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and if you’re [Click For More]

LAP chews fat with Surgeon General about obesity problem

January 29, 2016 // 40 Comments

Like many of you, I’ll never forget where I was when I heard the shocking news that obesity had officially become the No. 1 preventable health crisis in the nation. In fact, I can even tell you which super-sized meal I was eating. With millions of Americans resolved to lose weight for the New Year, now is the perfect time for us to [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME 16

January 23, 2016 // 6 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of Oscar Boycotts and “Be like Bill” memes that is the wide world of webs. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME 15

January 16, 2016 // 5 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of gluten free recipes and armed militia memes that is the world wide Kardashian net. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like or fav or heart or whatever on their [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME 14

January 9, 2016 // 6 Comments

Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of cat videos and Nicolas Cage memes that is the world wide interwoven web (while you’re out living a real life and having a real job). You’re probably following most of them and clicking [Click For More]

Canada turns to LAP to broker peace with U.S.

January 7, 2016 // 36 Comments

Special Report ALBERTA, Canada — In an unprecedented move aimed at easing tensions between the U.S. and Canada following Justin Bieber’s request for permanent U.S. citizenship, Canadian officials have agreed to what they are calling a “mutually offensive [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME THIRTEEN

January 2, 2016 // 2 Comments

Social Saturdays is the feature where we find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Snapchatting, or Emailing while you’re out living a real life and having a real job. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like or fav or heart or whatever it is now [Click For More]

Bold Predictions for 2016

December 31, 2015 // 2 Comments

2016 is almost upon us and the staff here at Long Awkward Pause decided to pull the Ouija board out of the LAP game closet, the Crystal Ball from under Ned’s cubicle, and the Tea Leaves from Blogdramedy’s favorite mug to try and predict what exactly is going to happen in the 2,016th year of the Common Era. By the way, 2016 has [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME Twelve

December 26, 2015 // 5 Comments

Have no fear, because in between seeing Star Wars and setting up Grinch traps, our staff this holiday week has not forsaken the vast frozen tundra of the world wide interweb. Social Saturdays is the feature where we find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS Volume Eleven

December 19, 2015 // 2 Comments

There may have been a tiny little bit of Star Wars talk from the Long Awkward Pause staff this past week…. We’ll start off with a few of the many examples of the Force strong within our staffers and then jump back into the non Star Wars related tweeting fodder they normally scream into the void. Not that that’s important [Click For More]

‘The Force’ will be strong with one staff member sooner than others

December 17, 2015 // 7 Comments

By this time tomorrow, one of the staff members here at LAP will be cooler than the rest. Except for Brainrants. No one is cooler than ‘Rants. Mostly because you can leave off half his name and it still sounds cool. Try that with the rest of us and the result sounds like someone grunting in the bathroom stall next to you: [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME TEN

December 12, 2015 // 3 Comments

Just like our staff; the internet is open 24/7 and Social Saturdays is the feature where we find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Snapchatting, or Emailing during those long lonely hours. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like or fav or heart [Click For More]

A vote for me is a vote for anyone but Trump

December 6, 2015 // 21 Comments

For those of you who have been following me in my pursuit of “Performer of the Year” in the A Star is Born competition at The Public Blogger, then you know I’ve made the Final Four! *sound of old dog stretching* If you haven’t been following because you’ve had more important things to do, such as working on your [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME NINE

December 5, 2015 // 4 Comments

It’s a double issue of Social Saturdays! We took the Thanksgiving holiday off here at Long Awkward Pause, but social media never sleeps and our writers didn’t stop posting, tweeting, or snapchatting – even with two hands in the mashed potatoes and a mouth full of turkey. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME EIGHT

November 21, 2015 // 3 Comments

It’s time for another installment of: Social Saturdays! Social Saturdays is the feature where we find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Snapchatting, or Emailing lately. Hell, I think one of us is still on Friendster. You’re probably following most of them [Click For More]

Your Thanksgiving questions answered by Mr. Knowitall

November 19, 2015 // 20 Comments

It’s been 395 years since that first Thanksgiving, when the Pilgrims and Wampanoag Indians sat down together in celebration and, much like the Americans of today, made a solemn vow not to eat more than your standard bull elk. We know this because of a passage recently discovered in the diary of Pilgrim Edward Winslow, who described the first [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS ARE BACK – VOLUME SEVEN

November 14, 2015 // 6 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, or Emailing lately. But not Google+ …because Google+ is like a Scooby Doo ghost town. Even our crazies don’t go there anymore. You are probably following [Click For More]