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Mike Calahan

A Long Awkward Pause Thanksgiving 2014

November 27, 2014 // 12 Comments

  The staff of Long Awkward Pause would like to take a moment to wish you and your family a very happy and safe Thanksgiving. We would also like to thank you, the readers of the website, the followers on Twitter and Tumblr, the Facebook viewers, and the podcast listeners. So, as we gather around the office with our families, friends, and the [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Awesome Group Halloween Costume Ideas

October 4, 2014 // 15 Comments

  Halloween will be here faster than you know it. When most of the staffers at Long Awkward Pause were kids, the vinyl costume ruled the streets. This was the one where the mask was plastic and went around your head with an elastic band. While the costume itself, you stepped into like surgical scrubs, and it tied at the top. Once either the [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Copy’cat’ Modeling Portfolio Pics

August 9, 2014 // 55 Comments

   We, at Long Awkward Pause, have been complaining for years now about Cats taking over the internet. We first noticed the cat infiltration happening as early as 1973. You see, cats are smart. They are not just trying to take over the internet in a single day. Oh no! They have slowly and methodically, kilobyte by kilobyte taking over the [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: WTF News Headlines

July 19, 2014 // 36 Comments

  Grandfather had a special way to fold his newspaper when he read it. It was quite the origami master fold. It was so he could read the paper easier and then end with the jumble puzzle as a treat for getting through the boring political sections. For those unfamiliar with newspapers, they are long and wide. *That’s what she said.* [Click For More]

Hip To Be … –.- ..- .- .-. .

July 10, 2014 // 43 Comments

Sometimes ironic, sometimes retro-chic, hipsters are the compass that points our culture toward cool. The horn rimmed glasses and skinny jeans have almost become the uniform of the mainstream, wanna-be hipster. Anyone wearing these is usually a poseur to the Nth degree or a model in a J. Crew ad. To keep themselves one step ahead of what [Click For More]

Long Awkward Pause Pop Quiz Winner Announced!

June 19, 2014 // 35 Comments

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Boy, placing an exclamation point after a contest announcement really hypes it up, eh?  Exclamation points add so much excitement!  Without one, the context completely changes. But enough of the grammar lessons, because [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Animal Photo Bombs

June 14, 2014 // 57 Comments

 ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ The world is divided up into two categories: Animal Lovers and Animal Haters. The Animal Lovers enjoy all sorts of living creatures. They like the furry ones. They like the slimy ones. They like them in the yard, they like them in the car. [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: R-Rated Children’s Books?

June 7, 2014 // 32 Comments

  The bed time story… A tradition that is fading fast. Now instead of the bedtime story being read by an ever-tired parent, it’s usually the TV or an iPhone that lulls the child into a deep, deep, slumber. That’s pretty sad. We at Long Awkward Pause are working on an app that will read children’s stories for you, kind of [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Truth In Pinterest Boards

May 31, 2014 // 58 Comments

    Pinterest used to be about knitting, cooking, inspirational quotations, kittens, puppies, weddings, makeup and fashion. That’s when women ruled the Pinterest boards and everything was rainbows and unicorns on rainbows. Men thought Pinterest was stupid and gay… and women and gay people were OK with that. “Let them think [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: The United States of What?

May 24, 2014 // 53 Comments

    It’s no secret that the rest of the world is not all that fond of Americans; it’s somewhat rightly deserved. American’s are proud. We are even proud of things we should not be proud of, like the fact that we are #1 in obesity, or #1 in daytime talk show drivel, or even #1 in bacon memes. But to us, all that matters is that [Click For More]

Rewriting the Bible for the 21st Century

January 10, 2014 // 43 Comments

Step aside first century. The New Testament may soon be referred to as The Old New Testament. That’s because one the most widely distributed books in the world is finally getting a makeover. For decades, religious leaders have watched the steady decline in church attendance, as well as fewer ticket sales to such fun stand-by’s as church [Click For More]

Holiday Movie Previews

December 9, 2013 // 16 Comments

As the holiday season begins its downward spiral into an orgy of spending, gluttony and passive-aggressive behavior toward family members, Tinseltown delivers a selection of films, all opening on Christmas day, guaranteed to delight and entertain the whole family. First up, it’s time to hitch up the wagons and travel back to 1846 with [Click For More]

LAP Update: Tour Stop Canceled in Kalamazoo, Michigan

September 30, 2013 // 31 Comments

Howard Gantz, manager here. It is with sad and great regret that I have to announce the Round Table on Oct. 5th in Kalamazoo, Michigan with Long Awkward Pause has been cancelled. If you have pre-purchased your tickets please email me and I will either send you tickets for another event or refund your money. If you live in the Michigan area I [Click For More]

Lights, Camera, Cut and Paste

September 20, 2013 // 62 Comments

If Gus Van Sant remakes Psycho shot for shot, it’s called an homage to Hitchcock. If Devo covers (I can’t get no) Satisifaction, it’s not just a cover of a Stones song, it’s a creative remix. If I re-write Huckleberry Finn in a different font, I’m a plagiarist. However, if I imagine the entire story in outer [Click For More]

Long Awkward Pause Takes On Hollywood Remakes

September 19, 2013 // 15 Comments

Hello! Howard Ganz here, manager of Long Awkward Pause, and I’m excited to introduce this week’s topic: Hollywood Remakes! It was sent in to us from Anonymous and reads; “Discuss Hollywood’s penchant for remaking movies or “rebooting” every goddam thing under the sun.” I don’t know where the name [Click For More]

The L.A.P. Tour Book Is Available!

September 17, 2013 // 29 Comments

Howard Gantz, Manager here! The long awaited Long Awkward Pause Official Photo Concert Tour Book For Dummies is on sale for a limited time! Pick up your yours today! There is only a limited number of copies available! Here is a small sampling of what you will find inside: Over 400 pages of photos and stories! Autographed copies available for an [Click For More]