Who Doesn’t Want To Date A Droid?

Posted on August 17, 2015 by Christopher De Voss in Christopher De Voss, Humor, Issue #22 August 2015 // 18 Comments

Her: "Are you ready for our big date tonight? Him: "Getting there...what are you going to wear?" Her: "I'm going to try something new. Cover Girl just came out with this interesting line of makeup. I'm going to give it a shot." Him: "Oh yeah?" Her: "Yes! I really think you're going to like it!" Him: "I'm sure I will. What is it?" Her: "Well...you know how your favorite movie is Star Wars? Except Phantom Menace (of course)?" Him: "(of course) Yes..." Her: "Well...sit right there...I'll be right back..."

source: spongebob.wikia.com

Finally…

She comes down the stairs, a vision in gold. Her dress(?) sparkles and catches the light from the chandelier and immediately blinds you. You put your hand over your brow and try to focus on what she is wearing.

You don’t know what she is wearing!

So instead you look at her hair…her gold hair. Its pulled back and sprayed into a golden sideways-hawk. (which is like a Mohawk on it’s side.) Her lips are the golden shade of gold, as well as her eyelids, cheek bones, and quite possibly the tip of her ear lobes. Covering her fingers is ordinate golden finger rings spiraled from knuckle to golden tip.

Her: “What do you think?”

FLASHBACK:

Her: “Well…you know how your favorite movie is Star Wars? Except Phantom Menace (of course)?”

Him: “(of course) Yes…”

Her: “Well…sit right there…I’ll be right back…”

Him: “Oh…my…god!”

Her: *smiles*

Him: “What on god’s green earth made you ever think I would want to date C3P0?!”

source: covergirl.com

FYI: This is a true story. The makeup is real.

Because having a beloved movie franchise isn’t enough, you must market, market, market…

EVERYTHING!

source: covergirl.com

Him: “Why couldn’t you have tried for the slave Princess Leia look instead?!”

source: sciencefiction.com

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About Christopher De Voss (132 Articles)

Voice over actor, writer on various websites, published author, should not eat cheese but still does. Producer for The Super True Crime Podcast, Podfix Presents, and 2 Drunk Mills And A Gen Z. Follow me on twitter: @chrisdevoss

18 Comments on Who Doesn’t Want To Date A Droid?

domingosaurus // August 17, 2015 at 8:12 am //

It could have been worse. Joan Rivers could have shown up. (See the movie Spaceballs to understand “obscure movie reference”)

LikeLiked by 2 people
- Christopher De Voss // August 17, 2015 at 8:15 am //
  
  Can we talk?! Joan Rivers was the droid, right?
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  - domingosaurus // August 17, 2015 at 8:16 am //
    
    Yup! (A very C3PO inspired droid.)
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
Nurse Kelly // August 17, 2015 at 8:22 am //

Hilarious, Christopher! Especially the sideways-hawk lol

LikeLiked by 1 person
- Christopher De Voss // August 17, 2015 at 8:30 am //
  
  I’m thinking about putting my hair in a sideways-hawk and then taking the kids to public places.
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  - Nurse Kelly // August 17, 2015 at 8:38 am //
    
    Well, truth is, no one would think anything of it probably! And your kids would either think you were a really cool dad or a freak, like mine would. But that depends on their ages, I think. lol
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
    - Christopher De Voss // August 17, 2015 at 8:51 am //
      
      It’s my joy to embarrass them.
      
      LikeLiked by 1 person
      - Nurse Kelly // August 17, 2015 at 8:53 am //
        
        Nice. Love twisted humor. Sorry to say I am the same way. (actually not sorry) lol
        
        LikeLike
1jaded1 // August 17, 2015 at 8:41 am //

This opened my day with laughter. If you put your hair I’m a side hawk, we need pics. I don’t date at all.

LikeLiked by 1 person
- Christopher De Voss // August 17, 2015 at 8:55 am //
  
  If I wasn’t married, we would go on a date to a fancy restaurant and I would dress like C3PO.
  
  LikeLike
  - 1jaded1 // August 17, 2015 at 1:48 pm //
    
    Haha, I would have to make an exception…I’d dress like princess leah…see what I did there? We could go to Downtown Disney…that wouldn’t be weird at all.
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
    - Christopher De Voss // August 17, 2015 at 8:13 pm //
      
      Not at all. Make sure you do your hair in the cinnamon buns…
      
      LikeLike
BrainRants // August 17, 2015 at 8:57 am //

So this unfortunate dude needs to switch to Trekkies. Because Green Orion Slave Girls.

LikeLike
- Christopher De Voss // August 17, 2015 at 9:14 am //
  
  True story! Except Captain Kirk has already banged all of them.
  
  LikeLike
NotAPunkRocker // August 17, 2015 at 8:58 am //

I admit, I am going to be a total sucker for the Star Wars makeup when it comes out. Marketing win for them, even if it makes no damn sense. And I’ve given up on dating again, so no thanks to the droids or otherwise.

This posts reminds me of an older Cyanide & Happiness comic; google them and Jabba the Hutt for the actual image 😀

LikeLiked by 1 person
- Christopher De Voss // August 17, 2015 at 9:18 am //
  
  There was a stormtrooper example too. You could try that look.
  
  LikeLike
geeksdiet // August 17, 2015 at 11:28 am //

I’m curious to know where they were going!

LikeLiked by 1 person
- Christopher De Voss // August 17, 2015 at 11:55 am //
  
  Gordon Ramsay’s new restaurant
  
  LikeLike