Everyone wants to feel sexy. Even your pets.
I kind of envy the animal kingdom in the fact that they don’t have to worry about dressing up fancy, buying fancy perfume, putting on fancy makeup, and/or shaving various parts of their fancy body. They just kind of go out, make a noise, and see who comes a-calling.
I tried this myself, only to find the neighbor’s dog responding to my cat calls.
And it was a big dog.
That drooled a lot.
And only had one eye.
We had drinks first.
Out of the fire hydrant…
1. Hey…What Do You Think Of My Love Guns?
Omawarisan: I’ve decided this kangaroo’s name is Ramon. Ramon with a big, rolling R. RRRRRamon.
BrainRants: Goddamn kangaroo has better guns than me. Stupid rotator cuffs…
2. There Is Still Room For You Bae, On My Love Swing
Omawarisan: You know this dog is exhausted from getting up into the swing.
BrainRants: Yep, it’s cramping the boys down there, huh? Welcome to manhood. You can’t use this kind of swing anymore.
3. You Know I’ll Always Panda To You Baby…
Chris: Come sit next to me baby. I have a piece of bamboo for you to chew on….
BrainRants: Pants? I don’ need no steenkin’ pants. Party’s right here, yo…
4. Like What You See? *wink*
Omawarisan: Sometimes I drag across the carpet too. The tile is cold though.
BrainRants: I swear, this isn’t what you think it is, but just please hand me a tissue.
5. Why Don’t You…Koala Me Later Baby?
Omawarisan: Y’know, Chris works hard on these Saturday Sixes, but look at all the headings of the pictures so far. Do a lot of them look like the inscriptions on the cards in a box of those little cards you get for your kids to take to school on Valentines Day?
Chris: I used to work for the Candy Hearts company.
BrainRants: Oh maaan… I’m soooo totally baked right now… are my feet all grippy-like, or what?
6. Shhhhh…Go Put On Some Enrique. Talk To Me…
Omawarisan: Stop it. You can’t have a dog and carpet that nice.
BrainRants: Damn, I am one sexy bitch… wait, selfie! I am like, so totally jealous of myself.
P.S. – Chris, the management called while you were out. Howard was asking about how you got pictures of so many stoned pets. Also, some guy named ‘2 Grillz’ called and said he had a dime for you. Sounds like a righteous guy if he owes you ten cents like that.
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