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The 12 Most Commonly Misinterpreted Road Signs

Road Signs can be tricky when passing at a high rate of speed.  Coffee and cell phone distractions don’t help either.  Here’s a handy guide to help avoid any confusion the next time you’re encountered with any of the following road or walking signs.

1.)  DESIGNATED STUNT-BIKING AREA

Remember to wear a safety helmet where boobs are present.

2.)  HAND STANDS PERMITTED ON MOVING VEHICLES

Look what that Teen Wolf Hooligan started…

3.)  MANNEQUIN CROSSING

Usually posted within close proximity to an Old Navy outlet store.

4.)  GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS AREA

No time for further explanation!

No time to explain!

5.)  CREEPY SINGLE GUY AREA

pedestrian

Roll up windows while passing.

6.)  KICK DOWN DOOR BEFORE ENTERING

Kick Down Door Before Entering

Nothing says ‘grand entrance’ like a good ninja-kick to the front door.

7.)  BONER REST STOP

Turns out that being well-endowed has it's drawbacks like, for instance, standing up.

Turns out that being well-endowed has it’s drawbacks.

8.)  WATCH FOR BIRDS

Flipping the bird

No stupid questions either.

9.)  STOP FOR STANKY LEG

Stanky leg enforcement zone.

10.)  COMPLETE HOKIE POKIE OR PAY FINE

Ok, you can stop now.

11.)  SPEED LIMIT 90 MPH

I can't drive fifty five.

I can’t drive fifty five.

12.)  NOW ENTERING THE STATE OF TEXAS

Keep Right

Sup, GW!

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About Adam (18 Articles)
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63 Comments on The 12 Most Commonly Misinterpreted Road Signs

  1. Love it! I also giggle when I see this one, “Caution: Slow Children at Play.”

    Like

  2. Thanks for some morning ha-ha!

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  3. I do miss Texas… I agree with Sandra above – why hate on the slow ones? They can’t help it. They just need a trainer to be faster.

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  4. NotAPunkRocker // January 31, 2014 at 7:27 am //

    This makes commuting more interesting.

    Ok, maybe not. Still funny though.

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  5. Hahaha…and boo roundabouts.

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  6. Bird watching and I can’t drive 55–both good. If you’ve ever been n a birdwatcher, you go 10 feet, the brakes go on and you hear “bird!”

    My answer, “So?”

    It’s easier to get out an walk until the birds all fly off.

    Like

  7. Reblogged this on Chowderhead and commented:

    A Funny Picture Gallery on Long Awkward cause to accompany your morning Coffee. Join up with us on Facebook. The best updates in your newsfeed!

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  8. FINALLY a rest stop specifically for men like my boyfriend. Thanks for that.

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  9. Actually laughed out loud at 12. I’ll probably send that to my oldest brother, but I don’t think he’ll find it nearly as funny as I do. Good one!

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    • Thanks Rachelle!

      I like that one too. I don’t know what your schedule looks like today, but if you could, Send it to everybody else in Texas if you wouldn’t mind

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  10. That “caution” sign is the best. Obviously whoever designed it never went to a school with fire drills. You know, the ones where the teachers are always saying “No RUNNING! Or I’ll cut your little @#$%s OFF!” (I went to Catholic school.) And what’s with the portly “mannequin crossing” sign? Maybe it’s all the outdoorsy stuff we do here in Oregon, but ours are much thinner.

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    • Ned, never forget this piece of life advice:

      In the event of a fire, run, don’t walk. Fuck everybody else! Get out as quickly as possible, even if that means stepping on peoples’ heads and small children. Survival of the fittest, I always say.

      And in Michigan, because of the extended cold season, our mannequins are a little bit ‘thicker’.

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      • That’s what we’re taught in the fire academy, too. We just don’t tell the general public.

        And that makes sense about the mannequins. In Southern California, I noticed the mannequin-crossing signs all look like Barbie and Ken silhouettes.

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  11. I love the boner rest stop *giggles childishly*. Here in the UK I’ve noticed they’ve started using more road signs with just words rather then pictures (I guess they’re starting to realise that pictures can be misinerpreted), but they’re including judgments in them, they say things like “Take your litter home, other people do” (Why do I need to take my litter home if other people are going to do it for me anyway?).

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    • VJC, you don’t ever have to be ashamed of expressing your inner adult-child around here. Please, make your self at home. One lump or two?

      Also, what? Take your liter home?! If it’s on the ground it’s there for a reason. That’s it’s home. I’m just kidding, I’m a hippie. I cry a single tear whenever I see a liter bug in action. And then I clothesline them and rub dirt in their faces. “Lesson learned, dummy!”

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  12. Adam, the next time you get pulled over for driving 90 in a 55, just tell the cop you’re a Canadian. Up here we use kilometers per hour, and 55 mph IS 90 km/h. “Oops. Looks like I was looking at the wrong numbers on the gauge, officer. My bad. That’s what you get for being a Canadian!” Works every time. *fingers crossed, pulls skirt up a bit, just in case it doesn’t work*

    Hmm, not sure the skirt hike will be your best move, though. But you never know. Try it and be sure to get back to me!

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    • Wendy, good advice. However, I don’t normally wear skirts while I’m driving because they bunch. And I have zero interest in even an hour long vacation to a place with a colder average climate than here. Fuck this place. And your place more! I do like hockey though, so thank you guys for that. Or Russia. One of the two.

      Oh yeah, by the way: a couple months ago I was driving up North for a little vacay. I was moving through a 70 going almost 100mph and blew right past a Statie. I thought I was going to prison and my heart nearly exploded in my chest. I wish I knew his name so that I could send him cookies or something. Also, I have an appt. with the doc on Monday for a procedure to have the lead extracted from my foot.

      I’ll keep you posted!

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      • Pft. Cold? What gave you the idea that it was cold up here? It was only -42º a week ago. 58º inside my house. Yikes. Yeah, it’s frickin’ cold!

        And lucky you! Forget the cookies, you should make that officer a casserole with your own two hands. I mean really, you must have a horse shoe hidden in some inconspicuous place on your body to have avoided that ticket/visit to the prison communal shower.

        Good luck with your appointment. Definitely keep me posted on that. Lead of the foot can be really serious, as I understand it. If I ever manage to dig my way out of this snow hole, I’ll send you some flowers.

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  13. 12 was the best.

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  14. Nice translation 😉 I learn something new every day!!! Have a great weekend.

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  15. Almost Iowa // January 31, 2014 at 11:18 am //

    Hey, where is the shotgun required zone sign?

    We have several areas in this state where shotgun racks are mandatory. It keeps the city riff-raff out and it’s not like you can’t mount your AK47 in the cab, but you gotta carry at least one shotgun – in case there is something in the ditch that requires shooting.

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    • Holy fucking cool, really?! I want a shotgun! I haven’t seen any of those signs around here, but I think it’s an unspoken rule. I’ll keep you posted. We’ll go out a shoot squirrels or bears or something. Cool!

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  16. Too funny. Stop! I yield and ask you to merge quickly into this four-way intersection of mirth as you change directions here on LAP and enter the one-way journey into comic fame…just be sure to not park on the grass or feed the birds.

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    • BD, I will not stop! And what does ‘yield’ mean? I’m starting to think that it means ‘honk at Adam’ when he drives by, because every time I pass through one, people are always laying on their horns. Maybe it’s the shades?

      Come back to us anytime. You’re always welcome here, mystery chick! \m/

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  17. Ha– the get the F out of this area one is still my favorite, though I like what you did with Texas. Clever.

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  18. I second Aussa…Number 4 rules! I’ve seen that one in San Diego near the border!! People run across freeways down there. Psycho!

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  19. Those were funny. I wish I would have known about 12 years ago. haha!

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  20. So, um, where exactly is this boner rest stop for the well-hung? Asking for a friend.

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  21. Ok #4 made me actually laugh out loud. Well done.

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  22. dentaleggs // January 31, 2014 at 5:21 pm //

    I would love to visit Texas some day… it’s just staying to the right that stops me.

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  23. Reblogged this on clayseaney and commented:
    this is a lmfao post

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  24. hahahahahaahaha – love these. i’m always fascinated by signs

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  25. 55 MPH is 90 KMH! Just tell the cop when he pulls you over you thought you were driving in kilometres!

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