Attention Dog Lovers Who Hate Dead Dogs On Film

Jack actually found this web site, but I stole the story from him. It's the Internet Movie Database for whether or not a dog is killed in a movie, and it's called:

Does the Dog Die?

Finally, for all you sensitive animal people out there, there is a database of film that you can find out if any dogs bite the big one on screen. This way you can decided how many boxes of tissues you need to have by your side while watching the movie.

Here is a handy checklist in case you are not sure if you are a sensitive dog person:

1) You would rather see a human offed on screen than a dog

2) You cried the entire length of Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey.

3) You get upset that kitty litter commercials are so negative towards what is natural and expected in all types of living things that eat and poop. (and sometimes eat their poop)

4) Hearing the name; Sarah McLachlan brings a single tear to your eye.

5) Your house pet has a better bed then you do.

6) You make baby cooing noises at your animals and you have proper names AND nicknames for them.

How it works is simple. You plug in the name of the movie you are about to watch and it brings back the answer based on this chart:

 

source: doesthedogdie.com

It’s that simple.

We did some research and compiled a list of movies that dog lovers should definitely avoid:

1) Old Yeller

2) Turner & Hooch

3) I Am Legend

4) Marley and Me 

5) American Psycho

6) My Dog Skip

7) The Road Warrior

8) Eight Below

9) All Dogs Go To Heaven

10) Cujo

So, now to be fair (and not to lose subscribers), here is a list of great dog movies:

1) The Adventures of Milo and Otis

2) Lassie

3) Lady and The Tramp

4) Best In Show

5) Beethoven

6) Air Bud

7) Bolt

8) The Shaggy Dog

9) The Dog Who Saved Christmas

10) 101 Dalmations

These are not all necessarily great cinematic masterpieces, just no dogs die in the films.

Is it insensitive of us to suggest to the Does the Dog Die? people that the icon for a dead dog should have little Xs over the eyes?

Yes?

Hey…did you just click unsubscribe?

---

 

MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:

Facebook: Long Awkward Pause

Twitter: @LongAwkPause

Tumblr: Long Awkward Pause Mag

Podcast: iTunes or PodOmatic

LAP TV: YouTube

Would you like to see a topic discussed on LAP?  Click HERE.