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Celebrity Rehab: Ke$ha Takes a Bite out of Therapy

Everything that glitters is not gold. Sometimes it's Rembrandt tooth whitener.

Everything that glitters is not gold. Sometimes it’s Rembrandt tooth whitener.

Kesha Rose Sebert, known on stage and around the music world as Ke$ha, is now in rehab receiving treatment for anorexia and bulimia. Good on you, girl – we can all benefit from therapy – celebrity or not. You realized you needed help and did something about it.

But one question: why the fascination with teeth?

If you’ve never watched any of Ke$ha’s music videos, the girl’s got a fine set of pearly whites – all the better to take a nice juicy bite out of some rather questionable lyrics.  She does it with a smile so blindingly white that you’d need a pair of sunglasses to take the edge off the words spewing from her mouth.

As in most areas of medical and scientific research, experimentation can often lead to new treatments. Seems someone working in the dental field has discovered that patients undergoing treatment for eating disorders can benefit from some intense therapy involving dental reconstruction, only not for cosmetic purposes.

After Ke$ha checked herself into the rehab center, she put out a call to her followers and fans to not send cards or flowers. Apparently she didn’t want sentimental wishes of good health; she instead wanted human teeth delivered to her for jewelry making purposes.  Long Awkward Pause…

If I was Ke$ha's therapist, I'd be less worried about her and more worried about who she hangs out with.

If I was Ke$ha’s therapist, I’d be less worried about her and more worried about who she hangs out with.

Honestly, how could anyone spend hours on end staring at these visions out of a dental hygienist’s nightmare without an overwhelming urge to drape themselves in extracted teeth threaded on a 24K gold necklace? She’s been on tour with these guys. I’ve looked at this image for only a few minutes and now want to search through the attic for my daughter’s baby teeth. I, in the role of Tooth Fairy, paid good money for those teeth and it’s past time I turned a profit.

Apparently, this fixation with teeth is nothing new for Ke$ha. There’s been necklaces, earrings, rings. One of her most ambitious projects was her “tooth” bra. I can’t help thinking that’s taking Madonna’s “pointy” bra just a little too far. It’s one thing to poke someone’s eye out with your bra. It’s a totally other (and may I say really bizarre) thing to want to be nibbled on by teeth from who knows whose mouth.

Does she accept teeth blindly or does she request some sort of molar providence? Like with artwork. You check to make sure the painting isn’t stolen or a reproduction or a fake. I don’t know how you’d do that with teeth. Maybe insist that tooth x-rays are taken, with the enclosed tooth highlighted and signed off by the dentist as actually coming from this person’s mouth. Given freely without duress or the use of anesthetic. Because if you’re under, you don’t REALLY know if what you get handed while in the chair is actually YOUR tooth. Think about that the next time you’re in the dentist’s chair.

I’ve heard of some wacky therapy offered to celebrities. In Ke$ha’s case, seems she’s going to have to effect progress without the use of real teeth as the rehab center has classified human teeth as not appropriate for use in her daily crafts class. Apparently, teeth are classified as “human remains.” Spokesperson for the treatment center said, “There is always a risk that it could be of bio-hazardous material so we are not able to bring in anything that’s real.

Too bad the center doesn't allow real teeth. They give better traction in the snow.

Too bad the center doesn’t allow real teeth. They give better traction in the snow.

If the treatment center doesn’t allow anything real, as long as they keep accepting celebrities as patients, they never have to worry about going out of business. *wink-wink*

Would you consider sending Ke$ha your extracted teeth?
Or do you want to start up your own line of dental designs?

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About Blogdramedy (8 Articles)
Blogdramedy is a recovering communications specialist who now spends her days helping non-profits communicate effectively. They rarely listen to her advice. When she's not doing that, she writes Upside of Sideways and is a field reporter for The Nudge Wink Report -- both on WordPress.

45 Comments on Celebrity Rehab: Ke$ha Takes a Bite out of Therapy

  1. NotAPunkRocker // January 24, 2014 at 8:46 am //

    I was going to give the technical answer to this (anorexia and bulimia ruin your teeth, and my dentist drives a Mercedes), but then I read the rest of the post.

    Yeah, this post makes my teeth hurt now. But hey, if the fans give in, then good for them. I would want to know the tooth fairy exchange rate before I sent mine in to her.


  2. Reblogged this on Blogdramedy and commented:

    It’s my turn over at Long Awkward Pause to write something funny. I’m not sure this qualifies. Stop on by and bring your floss.


  3. Whoa, I think she has more issues then her eating ones. I would not want to touch someone else’s molars. No thanks! And she wants to make jewelry? So wrong.


  4. I have always believed that celebrities live in a cocoon of self importance, and sometimes, when they get a peek at the real world, all hell breaks lose.


  5. You describe tooth-collecting like its a bad thing… I don’t personally. It’s a tough hobby to sink one’s… oh never mind. My comment bites.


  6. I keep dreaming that all my teeth fall out, and I have no idea what it means. Were they all to fall out, I’d not send them to Ke$ha though. Of that, I am certain.


    • If I recall correctly from school, dreams about teeth falling out can mean you’ve said something you shouldn’t (or lied) about something; you’re stressing about failure in relationships or at work. There are others but those seem to be the most frequent causes. You’re in a stressful job so maybe you need to take a break. Go on vacation.

      Drink Bud Light Lime by the dozen. *grin*


  7. This was all news to me. I guess I need to brush up on my Ke$sha.


  8. weird…just … weird


  9. dentaleggs // January 24, 2014 at 7:26 pm //

    Oh, gods… where do I sign-up?


  10. dentaleggs // January 24, 2014 at 7:27 pm //

    Also, those shoes are major.


  11. If you think about it, it’s not really much odder than collecting ivory from elephants. Maybe she’s just cornering the market on this before everyone else catches on.


  12. I have just learned more a Ke$ha then I ever wanted to know….


  13. Never heard of her. Hooray! Dig the shoes though.


  14. Snoring Dog Studio // January 25, 2014 at 10:34 am //

    Huh? Wha? Another kooky celebrity. That is so yesterday. And, frankly, is this musician that popular? And, why do we need to care that another celeb has entered rehab? Or read about Bieber’s “timeline of bad behavior”? So many questions. So many silly news stories, eh? However, I do hope this girl gets the help she needs. Eating disorders aren’t a laughing matter at all.


  15. My teeth hurt just reading this but, my curiosity really wants to see the footprint those shoes make.
    Ok, off to call the dentist for my toothache.


  16. Maybe Kesha should concentrate more on what to do with her own teeth, like eat properly & healthily, than making some kind of art with other people’s teeth!


  17. I’m not surprised by any of this; Ke$ha can’t even spell, much less stay on the right path…


  18. The answer is so simple, really! Ke$ha mother is obviously the tooth fairy. Ke$ha, in a fit of adolescent rebellion, decided SHE wasn’t going to go into the family business and instead entered the world of sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll. Still, because she comes from fairy folk, she is still captivated by shiny things…and by the teeth she should, by birthright, be collecting nightly.


  19. I feel awful for her and am hoping the best although I am not a fan. However, the fact about teeth is very disturbing.


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