toddler

The End of the World Tastes Like Mac ‘n’ Cheese

April 23, 2015 // 147 Comments

Because all of the Long Awkward Pause readers are smart, savvy and don’t live under rocks (except for a guy named Hogan from Idaho), you by now know that the iconic food staple of American Obesity Childhood will change. Yes, Mac and Cheese will shift from the nuclear sunset orange color we all know and love to something more… [Click For More]

Guest Post: Today My Toddler Didn’t Break Me

January 14, 2015 // 68 Comments

If the great Gavin McInnes, founder of Vice and godfather of the hipster movement, taught us anything, it’s that people take parenting way too seriously. There is a definitive point where we leave the realm of good parenting and enter into the already exceeding capacity pool of idiots. A man should be defined by how he handles morons. If you [Click For More]