Latest And Greatest

monk monkey

A tour through my album collection

April 21, 2014 // 78 Comments

Growing up, dear children, I was not aloud to listen to Rock ‘n’ Roll Music. My father would say to me, “Monk, m’boy, if I ever see you listening to Rock ‘n’ Roll Music, I’ll slit yer face.” And so, dear, children, I never did… But in the late 1980s, something amazing happened. First, I left [Click For More]

Surviving In Australia

February 25, 2014 // 60 Comments

Dearest friends (and enemies – I love you too), Were you aware that the average life expectancy in Australia is just 27 (for men) and 28 (for women)? And do you know why? Why, it’s because of this picture which you should click on if you want to make it bigger: Wherever you turn, something in Australia is out to kill you – [Click For More]

Can Board Games Improve your Health?

January 17, 2014 // 43 Comments

Listen up you bucket load of greasy chimps! In these here online digital pages I have been working my shiny butt off to get you to get happy. It seems nothing has worked and it isn’t the fault of my advice (which is brilliant), it’s all your fault, you turnips! I shall give it one more bash, however. Across your face!!! GAMES! A word [Click For More]

Fun with Acrostics

December 16, 2013 // 23 Comments

Today I will do the unthinkable and solve two problems in one go, both with the use of poetry. Well, acrostic poetry, anyway, which I don’t think counts as poetry but we’ll let it slide like hot butter down a camel’s back (Ooh! Poetic!) First, let’s look at the strife of the humble depressed person. This person is sad, [Click For More]

Thanksgiving 2013

November 28, 2013 // 13 Comments

From our family here at Long Awkward Pause, to your family where ever they may be: Happy Turkey Day! I’ve just been told that by saying Happy Turkey Day, instead of saying the traditional Happy Thanksgiving, we may have confused the people of the country of Turkey, whom actually do not have a day of celebration called Turkey Day. We mean no [Click For More]

Long Awkward Pause Takes On The Picture Prompt

October 7, 2013 // 20 Comments

Howard Gantz, manager here. It’s hard to believe it’s October already! Christmas is less than 90 days away. You are welcome for that thought! We at Long Awkward Pause have a great October planned for you! Speaking of October, be sure to grab your tickets to the L.A.P. Annual Halloween Costume Party. This years event will be held at [Click For More]

The L.A.P. Tour Book Is Available!

September 17, 2013 // 29 Comments

Howard Gantz, Manager here! The long awaited Long Awkward Pause Official Photo Concert Tour Book For Dummies is on sale for a limited time! Pick up your yours today! There is only a limited number of copies available! Here is a small sampling of what you will find inside: Over 400 pages of photos and stories! Autographed copies available for an [Click For More]

Are you addicted to Caffine?

September 3, 2013 // 52 Comments

Dear America, Land of the brave, the free. There is a new killer drug in your mist and it isn’t cocaine, heroin, advil or nickatine. IT’S CAFFEIEN!!! Yes, this killer addiction is stalking city streets and curbs as human after human carries around their paper cups filled to the BRIM with glorious Coffee which comes from CAFFEINE! Do [Click For More]

Long Awkward Pause On Coffee

August 31, 2013 // 19 Comments

Hello! Howard Ganz here, manager of Long Awkward Pause, and I’m excited to introduce this week’s topic: Coffee! It was sent in to us from Sandy Osorno and reads; “Hi Christopher, Julie here, just an out coffeeholic and a reader of your website. 🙂 I came across this great infographic about America’s addiction on this lovely [Click For More]

L.A.P. Banned In China

August 19, 2013 // 59 Comments

This has been reprinted with permission from the online version of the Ohio Llama Sun Gazette:  Super Blogging Group Long Awkward Pause Has Been Banned In China reported by Jerry Wentworth It was just announced today by officials representing the People’s Republic of China that the super blogging group, Long Awkward Pause, will not be [Click For More]

Reported Member of LAP in Rehab

July 29, 2013 // 35 Comments

This was reported by TBZ.com, a rumor blog. Although it is ugly and untrue, we at Long Awkward Pause have decided to reprint the article in a stance of solidarity and empowerment…that and we are pretty sure you are sick of the reblogs. LAP would also like to release this statement: The article below is false and untrue. The members of LAP [Click For More]