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The Saturday Six: Enhanced Thrift Store Paintings

January 17, 2015 // 24 Comments

  *singing* I’m going to pop some tags…got twenty dollars in my pocket…got kicked out of the thrift store for singing this song too much…my hair kinda makes me look like Roger from Doug…*done singing* David Irvine is an artist on a mission to save bad paintings from their own wooded country road drippy selves. He [Click For More]

Guest Post: Today My Toddler Didn’t Break Me

January 14, 2015 // 68 Comments

If the great Gavin McInnes, founder of Vice and godfather of the hipster movement, taught us anything, it’s that people take parenting way too seriously. There is a definitive point where we leave the realm of good parenting and enter into the already exceeding capacity pool of idiots. A man should be defined by how he handles morons. If you [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Pretty Amazing Beds

January 10, 2015 // 26 Comments

   Doesn’t matter how rich or how poor you are… The bed is the one piece of furniture that makes your house a home… It’s the one thing you look forward too at the end of a long day… It’s the one thing you don’t want to get out of on a cold day… It makes breakfast taste exotic… It makes being [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: When You Don’t Care Anymore

December 27, 2014 // 21 Comments

  Some people fear getting old. And some people can’t wait. There are some nice benefits to it: discounts, retirement, early dinners, electric scooters, jello, being an extra on those Lifeline Medical Alert commercials, and most importantly, being able to say whatever-the-hell you want, when you want. “Can you believe Bob just said [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Stringing Up The Lights

December 20, 2014 // 25 Comments

  Katie was in charge of decorating the office for Christmas this year. She did a really good job. Below are a few of the cubicles she gave the spirit of the Holidays too. Feel free to visit the offices if you would like to see the rest of the staff’s decorations. This is how she decorated Trish the receptionist’s area:   She [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: She’s Got Steve Buscemi Eyes

November 15, 2014 // 40 Comments

  Even if you think you don’t know who Steve Buscemi is…you know him. He is one of those actors whom you have seen in many different films and when he pops up in the movie, you say, “Oh yeah…that guy! He’s good! And creepy! But still good!” This is Steve Buscemi: He usually plays sleazy, bad, corrupt, or just [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Sexy Animal Photoshoots

November 8, 2014 // 43 Comments

   Everyone wants to feel sexy. Even your pets. I kind of envy the animal kingdom in the fact that they don’t have to worry about dressing up fancy, buying fancy perfume, putting on fancy makeup, and/or shaving various parts of their fancy body. They just kind of go out, make a noise, and see who comes a-calling. I tried this myself, only [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Weird Toys for Kids?

November 1, 2014 // 55 Comments

   The innocence and bill free days of childhood…. If we could only go back for one day… A day filled with Chuck E Cheese and Christmas and Easter and Birthday Parities and late night scary movies on channel 10 with your best friend… But we can’t. Right now, you are actually late for work because you sat down to read [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Epic Pumpkin Carving Skills

October 25, 2014 // 28 Comments

   This whole month we have been talking about pumpkins. Some of us…hate them. Some of us…mildly tolerate them. One of us is excited for Christmas already. While most of the country is busy bitching about Pumpkin Spice and the other Spice Girls, and carving the traditional square, square, triangle, half moon with teeth into their [Click For More]

Weird Things We Do For Love

October 24, 2014 // 18 Comments

It was 103º in July and I was driving 300 miles to see the snowboarding mountain upstart with the smoldering gaze I’d met on the slopes a few months earlier. My heart was a restless puppy. Forty miles into my drive, my 20-year-old Corolla’s temperature gauge was in the red, dangerously close to overheating. But I wasn’t going to be stopped, [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: It’s Symmetrical, Watson!

October 18, 2014 // 32 Comments

   We all have that one friend…that one person…who needs everything just so, just right, everything in it’s place, everything lined up, everything where it should be… And if you can’t think of that one friend or relative who is like that….guess what? It’s you! You can call it a disorder. You can call it [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Exploring Daily Life Facts

October 11, 2014 // 18 Comments

  Do you know what’s funny? The World. Do you know why it’s so gosh darn funny? Because even when you look around you and everything seems to make sense…it doesn’t. Sometimes if you take a moment to peel back the layers, nothing at all makes sense. Take for example: Turtle Neck Sweaters. On the surface, this makes sense. [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Awesome Group Halloween Costume Ideas

October 4, 2014 // 15 Comments

  Halloween will be here faster than you know it. When most of the staffers at Long Awkward Pause were kids, the vinyl costume ruled the streets. This was the one where the mask was plastic and went around your head with an elastic band. While the costume itself, you stepped into like surgical scrubs, and it tied at the top. Once either the [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Corrupted Coloring Book Art

September 27, 2014 // 53 Comments

   As a child, coloring was always a good time waster. It didn’t matter whether or not you colored in the lines, out of the lines, or  like Robin Thicke, and colored with blurred lines. And half naked dancing girls. And Miley Cyrus, with a foam finger. Taking a poll amongst the staffers of Long Awkward Pause,  the favorite color from [Click For More]