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How To Slow Down Time

October 5, 2015 // 4 Comments

It’s not only that time goes by so quickly or our attention spans are low. It’s context. Within a two-week period, we jump from a summer state-of-mind to fall just because Costco decides it’s time to sell Halloween stuff right after 4th of July. I see Halloween orange and black, and I immediately think Thanksgiving, because, pumpkin-overlap. [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Three

October 3, 2015 // 20 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Noodling, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re not, [Click For More]

Mars + Facebook Down = End Of The World

October 1, 2015 // 24 Comments

“There is water on Mars! There is water on Mars!” screamed Lidia, our present secretary here at the offices of Long Awkward Pause. Lidia generally has time for such revelations because all she does all day is check Facebook and play Candy Crush. To her defense, there is not much else to do. We generally do not receive a whole lot of [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Two

September 26, 2015 // 42 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Night Clubing, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume One

September 19, 2015 // 24 Comments

First there was the Saturday Six….and people liked it. And it went on for a year or so. And then the themes starting drying up and the numbers starting dropping, but generally people still liked it. But we at the Pause decided to pull it. We got emails. “Where is the Saturday Six?! There is nothing good on Saturdays! I’m going to [Click For More]

Some Things I Did On The Internet I Don’t Want Anyone To Know About: On Neopets and the Ashley Madison Leak

August 27, 2015 // 16 Comments

In the wake of the Ashley Madison breach, there’s been a lot of talk about the notion of “justified” leaks. In recent memory, “The Fappening” iCloud photo leak in 2014 resulted in a number of celebrities’ private photos making their way on the Web. The Internet was largely outraged and supportive of Jennifer Lawrence—arguably one of [Click For More]

Back To Ohio – A Report

August 21, 2015 // 10 Comments

I WENT BACK TO OHIO BUT MY CITY WAS GONE THERE WAS NO TRAIN STATION THERE WAS NO DOWNTOWN SOUTH HOWARD HAD DISAPPEARED ALL MY FAVORITE PLACES MY CITY HAD BEEN PULLED DOWN REDUCED TO PARKING SPACES A, O, WAY TO GO OHIO —The Pretenders “My City Was Gone” It was a long drive back, but it was overdue. The trip took 14 hours by car or [Click For More]

Who Doesn’t Want To Date A Droid?

August 17, 2015 // 18 Comments

Her: “Are you ready for our big date tonight? Him: “Getting there…what are you going to wear?” Her: “I’m going to try something new. Cover Girl just came out with this interesting line of makeup. I’m going to give it a shot.” Him: “Oh yeah?” Her: “Yes! I really think you’re [Click For More]

Who Said That?! Lincoln, Trump, or Ramsay

August 10, 2015 // 10 Comments

It’s time to play everyone’s favorite game… Who Said That?! Lincoln, Trump, Or Ramsay How it’s played: In each box will be a quote made famous by either: Beloved 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln: Real Estate Tycoon and running for the GOP nomination, Donald Trump: or TV Chef, Gordon [Click For More]

Top Staff Picks for Fiverr.com

July 20, 2015 // 24 Comments

If you are unfamiliar with Fiverr.com, it’s a website that allows people to offer their services for…well…5 bucks. You might find services like: People who will help you promote your web page. People who will design logos. People who will do video production. People who will help you design a meal. Or even people who will [Click For More]

R.I.P. Bubble Wrap 1957- 2015

July 13, 2015 // 27 Comments

Dearly Beloved, We are gathered here today…to mourn the loss of one of the truly greats of these modern times…an innovator that ranges from low tech fun to functional packing protector, impromptu pillow, wallpaper substitute, and so much [Click For More]

If You Make A Guy Pinterest Famous

July 6, 2015 // 24 Comments

If you make a guy Pinterest famous… It might explain why the cashier at CVS is giving you weird looks… At first you were thinking it was the huge armpit stains on your shirt, but now…now you know better. She recognized you from your uber popular and super cool Pinterest board: 51 Tie Dye Do It Yourself Projects That has to be [Click For More]

Worst Design Ever: Gyrospheres In Jurassic World

June 25, 2015 // 19 Comments

This article should not give anything away spoiler wise if you have not seen Jurassic World. Probably. The Gyrospheres in Jurassic World seem like a really cool idea for a theme park ride…at first. If you haven’t seen the movie, the concept of this ride is a self guided protection bubble that allows you to roam freely amoungst the [Click For More]

The Future of Movies Has A Name: Kung Fury

June 5, 2015 // 18 Comments

Kung Fury hit Kickstarter back on December of 2013. This date will be as important to remember as all other important dates that we are made to remember…such as: There are a few others, but our Google hand is tired already. In an age of 53 gazillion dollar four hour blockbusters, this crowd funded 30 minute film costs a mere $630,000. It [Click For More]