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Social Saturdays Volume Two

September 26, 2015 // 42 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Night Clubing, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re [Click For More]

New Cat Study Reveals Fluffy Is All About “The Get”

September 21, 2015 // 17 Comments

In an explosive new study by the University of Lincoln (Abe? Nebraska? Mercury?), findings show that cats are not like dogs. Cat lovers, hissing and arching their backs, quickly pushed back. Pet stores report a run on the drug, CatNip, as cat owners storm their stores, demanding staff hand over their personal stash. Employees were physically [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume One

September 19, 2015 // 24 Comments

First there was the Saturday Six….and people liked it. And it went on for a year or so. And then the themes starting drying up and the numbers starting dropping, but generally people still liked it. But we at the Pause decided to pull it. We got emails. “Where is the Saturday Six?! There is nothing good on Saturdays! I’m going to [Click For More]

The Sisterwives Mistakenly Interview Us

September 15, 2015 // 25 Comments

There is a group of powerful women writers who have collected together and formed the website: The Sisterwives. Should it be whom have collected? I don’t know. The grammar police will email me soon. They always do. I probably should have paid more attention in English class, but alas I have always run away from the thought of putting words [Click For More]

Shrek – The Sheep That Shorn The Shear

September 14, 2015 // 12 Comments

This is the Sheep, Shrek. Or as he is known to his friends: Shrek the Sheep. He lives in New Zealand and enjoys long walks on the beach, Mai Tais, Three’s Company reruns, and sunsets. What he doesn’t like is getting his hair cut. Shrek hated getting his hair cuts so much that he hid out in a cave for six years to avoid [Click For More]

Over the Line Podcast #20 Dancing With The Starless

September 9, 2015 // 2 Comments

On Today’s Show: Topics include I have your back maybe, The trouble with ordering Poker party food, Carry out tipping etiquette, Fall sports, Coach is fired after one episode, Galaxy Quest comes to TV, The Muppets and Kermit the Frog’s new swine american controversery, Backstreet Boys vs All Other Boy Bands, Season Premiers, The [Click For More]

Back To Ohio – A Report

August 21, 2015 // 10 Comments

I WENT BACK TO OHIO BUT MY CITY WAS GONE THERE WAS NO TRAIN STATION THERE WAS NO DOWNTOWN SOUTH HOWARD HAD DISAPPEARED ALL MY FAVORITE PLACES MY CITY HAD BEEN PULLED DOWN REDUCED TO PARKING SPACES A, O, WAY TO GO OHIO —The Pretenders “My City Was Gone” It was a long drive back, but it was overdue. The trip took 14 hours by car or [Click For More]

Who Doesn’t Want To Date A Droid?

August 17, 2015 // 18 Comments

Her: “Are you ready for our big date tonight? Him: “Getting there…what are you going to wear?” Her: “I’m going to try something new. Cover Girl just came out with this interesting line of makeup. I’m going to give it a shot.” Him: “Oh yeah?” Her: “Yes! I really think you’re [Click For More]

Heavenly Bodies

July 27, 2015 // 22 Comments

Long Awkward Pause readers are hip, informed and intelligent people. Because this is true, you like to Science, and I’ve been assigned an article to expand your universe. At least to bring space to your place. So I’m about to get all Neil deGrasse Tyson here. Maybe you thought by reading the title that this post would feature boobs. I [Click For More]