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holidays

Happy Thanksgiving 2015

November 26, 2015 // 2 Comments

  As another Thanksgiving comes and goes, with the smell of turkey and over zealous pigskin testosterone filling the air, plus the promise of Black Friday starting on a Thursday…around 6 pm…looming ahead of us like bright shiny gold filled gum drops dropped by a half naked pudgy baby…we at Long Awkward Pause are thankful [Click For More]

Your Thanksgiving questions answered by Mr. Knowitall

November 19, 2015 // 20 Comments

It’s been 395 years since that first Thanksgiving, when the Pilgrims and Wampanoag Indians sat down together in celebration and, much like the Americans of today, made a solemn vow not to eat more than your standard bull elk. We know this because of a passage recently discovered in the diary of Pilgrim Edward Winslow, who described the first [Click For More]

How To Slow Down Time

October 5, 2015 // 4 Comments

It’s not only that time goes by so quickly or our attention spans are low. It’s context. Within a two-week period, we jump from a summer state-of-mind to fall just because Costco decides it’s time to sell Halloween stuff right after 4th of July. I see Halloween orange and black, and I immediately think Thanksgiving, because, pumpkin-overlap. [Click For More]

The New Modern Holiday Carol

December 25, 2014 // 38 Comments

There is a plague in this country that is far worse than Malaria, Black Death, or even Ebola. And that plague is called Political Correctness. What this blight does is stop people from recognizing that it’s OK to be different. Imagine a world full of the one type of people and culture. How boring. Even the Holidays are not immune to this [Click For More]

Long Awkward Pause’s Holiday Wine Buying Guide

November 24, 2014 // 16 Comments

Ahhh, it’s that time of year again.  All those drunken family get-togethers, work events, neighborhood gatherings all filled with merriment, dancing, and probably a decent amount of debauchery. Holidays?  Heck, that was my last weekend. The holidays can be a very stressful time.  Maybe you have to think of an excuse for skipping out on [Click For More]