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Food

LAP’s Cooking Playlist

February 1, 2016 // 12 Comments

  I have two major passions in my life. Oops, forgot about the kids – make that THREE major passions in my life.   But this isn’t a mommy blog, so you’re stuck with the other two. The first is food.  Pretty obvious considering my blogging name, right? I love making food, eating other food that people made for me, reading about food, [Click For More]

General Tso, who are you?

January 4, 2016 // 7 Comments

General Tso, who are you? Wikepedia describes you as a general who lived in Xiangyin during the 1800’s, yet the dish named after you was never eaten there, nor anywhere else near your city. What gives General? Who are you General? The world wants to know. The “chef’s special” wants to know. The mall food court wants to know who you are. I [Click For More]

Happy Thanksgiving 2015

November 26, 2015 // 2 Comments

  As another Thanksgiving comes and goes, with the smell of turkey and over zealous pigskin testosterone filling the air, plus the promise of Black Friday starting on a Thursday…around 6 pm…looming ahead of us like bright shiny gold filled gum drops dropped by a half naked pudgy baby…we at Long Awkward Pause are thankful [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Six

October 31, 2015 // 10 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Halloweening, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re [Click For More]

The Creepiest Cookies Ever

October 28, 2015 // 11 Comments

Halloween is coming up and this time around it falls on Saturday, so there’s bound to be a ton of costume parties everywhere.   Whether you’re attending one or hosting, there’s a lot of things to do to get ready for the big night.   I know one of my dilemmas is whether I should stay at home and pass out candy to the trick-or-treaters or [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Five

October 17, 2015 // 22 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Nipple Tweeking, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Four

October 10, 2015 // 32 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Pope Stalking, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Three

October 3, 2015 // 20 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Noodling, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re not, [Click For More]

Hair of the Dog That You Bit

August 4, 2015 // 22 Comments

I’ve been fortunate enough to have some great food experiences around the country and around the world. I’ve had crepes from a cart across from Notre Dame in Paris. I’ve eaten at Michelin-starred restaurants in New York. I’ve eaten sushi off the body of a naked Ariana Grande while on one of the Sultan of Brunei’s larger boats.   [Click For More]

The End of the World Tastes Like Mac ‘n’ Cheese

April 23, 2015 // 147 Comments

Because all of the Long Awkward Pause readers are smart, savvy and don’t live under rocks (except for a guy named Hogan from Idaho), you by now know that the iconic food staple of American Obesity Childhood will change.  Yes, Mac and Cheese will shift from the nuclear sunset orange color we all know and love to something more… [Click For More]

This Weekend’s Forecast: Sex and Wine

February 12, 2015 // 28 Comments

You know what’s happening this weekend is, don’t you? Let me give you a hint – it’s a special day that celebrates love. Many women have been waiting months for this day so that they can revel in a night of pure romance.   Meanwhile, many men will be spending a night out with their significant others when they’d really just rather sit [Click For More]

Now We’re Cooking with Fire

January 22, 2015 // 20 Comments

Some friends were coming over for dinner and I had a major case of writer’s block.   Or I guess that would be cook’s block, but that sounds like glorified cutting board.   So let’s just call it I-had-no-freaking-clue-what-to-make block. This was about the same time that I was working on my Peyton Manning fashion post.   I wrote that over [Click For More]

Peyton Manning Needs Me

December 22, 2014 // 30 Comments

When I started dating my wife years ago, I explained to her that I wasn’t one of those guys who watches ESPN eight hours a day like a bunch of her friends’ significant others.   I really don’t give a rat’s ass about baseball, hockey, or college sports.  So she never has to worry about not being able to watch The Good Wife or some other [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Stringing Up The Lights

December 20, 2014 // 25 Comments

  Katie was in charge of decorating the office for Christmas this year. She did a really good job. Below are a few of the cubicles she gave the spirit of the Holidays too. Feel free to visit the offices if you would like to see the rest of the staff’s decorations. This is how she decorated Trish the receptionist’s area:   She [Click For More]

A Long Awkward Pause Thanksgiving 2014

November 27, 2014 // 12 Comments

  The staff of Long Awkward Pause would like to take a moment to wish you and your family a very happy and safe Thanksgiving. We would also like to thank you, the readers of the website, the followers on Twitter and Tumblr, the Facebook viewers, and the podcast listeners. So, as we gather around the office with our families, friends, and the [Click For More]

Long Awkward Pause’s Holiday Wine Buying Guide

November 24, 2014 // 16 Comments

Ahhh, it’s that time of year again.  All those drunken family get-togethers, work events, neighborhood gatherings all filled with merriment, dancing, and probably a decent amount of debauchery. Holidays?  Heck, that was my last weekend. The holidays can be a very stressful time.  Maybe you have to think of an excuse for skipping out on [Click For More]