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Social Saturdays Volume Five

October 17, 2015 // 22 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Nipple Tweeking, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if [Click For More]

I’m the Male Jennifer Aniston

October 15, 2015 // 14 Comments

Why are you laughing? It’s true in so many ways.  We’re both damn good looking even though we’re on the wrong side of forty.   We’re both adored and emulated by people around the world.   We both have been on television shows – History Channel for me (which I should tell you about sometime) and some little-known NBC sitcom for her. [Click For More]

In Which The Dog and I Discuss the New Pope

October 13, 2015 // 17 Comments

I had a conversation with the dog today.  We were talking about the new pope.  For the first time ever, I am actually not only aware of the Pope’s activities, but I am also finding I actually kinda like this Pope.  I tried to explain this to Malachi, but it turns out, he’s not a very [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Four

October 10, 2015 // 32 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Pope Stalking, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re [Click For More]

How To Slow Down Time

October 5, 2015 // 4 Comments

It’s not only that time goes by so quickly or our attention spans are low. It’s context. Within a two-week period, we jump from a summer state-of-mind to fall just because Costco decides it’s time to sell Halloween stuff right after 4th of July. I see Halloween orange and black, and I immediately think Thanksgiving, because, pumpkin-overlap. [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Three

October 3, 2015 // 20 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Noodling, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re not, [Click For More]

Mars + Facebook Down = End Of The World

October 1, 2015 // 24 Comments

“There is water on Mars! There is water on Mars!” screamed Lidia, our present secretary here at the offices of Long Awkward Pause. Lidia generally has time for such revelations because all she does all day is check Facebook and play Candy Crush. To her defense, there is not much else to do. We generally do not receive a whole lot of [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Two

September 26, 2015 // 42 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Night Clubing, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re [Click For More]

New Cat Study Reveals Fluffy Is All About “The Get”

September 21, 2015 // 17 Comments

In an explosive new study by the University of Lincoln (Abe? Nebraska? Mercury?), findings show that cats are not like dogs. Cat lovers, hissing and arching their backs, quickly pushed back. Pet stores report a run on the drug, CatNip, as cat owners storm their stores, demanding staff hand over their personal stash. Employees were physically [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume One

September 19, 2015 // 24 Comments

First there was the Saturday Six….and people liked it. And it went on for a year or so. And then the themes starting drying up and the numbers starting dropping, but generally people still liked it. But we at the Pause decided to pull it. We got emails. “Where is the Saturday Six?! There is nothing good on Saturdays! I’m going to [Click For More]

The Sisterwives Mistakenly Interview Us

September 15, 2015 // 25 Comments

There is a group of powerful women writers who have collected together and formed the website: The Sisterwives. Should it be whom have collected? I don’t know. The grammar police will email me soon. They always do. I probably should have paid more attention in English class, but alas I have always run away from the thought of putting words [Click For More]

Shrek – The Sheep That Shorn The Shear

September 14, 2015 // 12 Comments

This is the Sheep, Shrek. Or as he is known to his friends: Shrek the Sheep. He lives in New Zealand and enjoys long walks on the beach, Mai Tais, Three’s Company reruns, and sunsets. What he doesn’t like is getting his hair cut. Shrek hated getting his hair cuts so much that he hid out in a cave for six years to avoid [Click For More]

REVISITING CLASSIC COMIC BOOK ADVERTS (PART TWO)

September 10, 2015 // 2 Comments

As we discussed in Part One of “Revisiting Classic Comic Book Adverts” , comic books in the 1970’s and early 1980’s were an immense treasure trove of some of the greatest advertisements ever conceived by men. Men who were obviously on drugs. The ads in the middle of comic books were often times more entertaining than the actual story. Take [Click For More]

Some Things I Did On The Internet I Don’t Want Anyone To Know About: On Neopets and the Ashley Madison Leak

August 27, 2015 // 16 Comments

In the wake of the Ashley Madison breach, there’s been a lot of talk about the notion of “justified” leaks. In recent memory, “The Fappening” iCloud photo leak in 2014 resulted in a number of celebrities’ private photos making their way on the Web. The Internet was largely outraged and supportive of Jennifer Lawrence—arguably one of [Click For More]