Latest And Greatest

2013

Publicity Stunt

December 27, 2013 // 0 Comments

Originally posted on Breezy Books:
Christopher De Voss. Nice guy who writes some pretty cool stories and makes me laugh with his blog. I’m a fan since June of 2012. Are you wondering why I’m mentioning him, when I’m supposed to be yammering about Adam [Click For More]

What Really Sandpapers My Balls – 2nd Ed.

December 6, 2013 // 36 Comments

I’m certain you are all waiting in breathless anticipation for some Ranty® screed about Thanksgiving that will shame, highlight or compliment the other great writers here on LAP. Sorry – you’re not getting that. Overall, Thanksgiving is only slightly notched below the 4th of July for my personal favorite holiday. Besides, Howard made sure [Click For More]

Another Thanksgiving Without a Gravy Trough

November 25, 2013 // 47 Comments

Another Thanksgiving is here and once again my mom has put the kibosh on my gravy trough proposal. Six years have passed since I incepted this bolt of brilliance, and for six straight years my mom has refused to become a part of history. It’s all “Oh, it’s not tradition,” and “No, that would be disgusting, Justin, stop asking for [Click For More]

An Interview With Author Rodney Lacroix

November 22, 2013 // 19 Comments

This was supposed to be an interview with author and humorist Rodney Lacroix, but since the man decided to release a book* and get married in the same week, I decided to do him a favor…well, more his for his bride… I decided do the article without him. Rodney agreed to do the interview mind you, but I have learned that women are crazy, [Click For More]

What Really Sandpapers My B@!1$

November 4, 2013 // 48 Comments

Contrary to what most of you likely believe, I can actually read and shit. No kidding. I won’t blow your mind by insisting that I typed this myself, and my lips didn’t even move. That would be digressing. Do you know what really sandpapers my b@!1$? The endless series of news pieces that breathlessly announce precisely what sort of horrid crap [Click For More]

Anatomy Of A Picture Prompt

October 10, 2013 // 25 Comments

The Picture Prompt. A staple of bloggers everywhere. For non-bloggers the concept is easy: Take a picture, any picture, of anything.  Write about it. Types of Picture Prompts you could write: A Story An Epic Poem Like The Illad A Hundred Word Story A Song An Essay A Novella A List Side Note: I don’t understand the hundred word story. Is it [Click For More]

A Lurid Tale of Military Weapons Development

October 8, 2013 // 37 Comments

So I am supposed to write something – whatever pops into my defective head – upon seeing this picture. To be honest, my head about exploded, because Awesome Robot, and because Awesome Safe Sex. Actually, the second one not so much or so awesome, because No Junk Access (JA). Junk Access is important during sex, or so I seem to recall. I [Click For More]

Long Awkward Pause Takes On The Picture Prompt

October 7, 2013 // 20 Comments

Howard Gantz, manager here. It’s hard to believe it’s October already! Christmas is less than 90 days away. You are welcome for that thought! We at Long Awkward Pause have a great October planned for you! Speaking of October, be sure to grab your tickets to the L.A.P. Annual Halloween Costume Party. This years event will be held at [Click For More]

LAP Update: Tour Stop Canceled in Kalamazoo, Michigan

September 30, 2013 // 31 Comments

Howard Gantz, manager here. It is with sad and great regret that I have to announce the Round Table on Oct. 5th in Kalamazoo, Michigan with Long Awkward Pause has been cancelled. If you have pre-purchased your tickets please email me and I will either send you tickets for another event or refund your money. If you live in the Michigan area I [Click For More]

Long Awkward Pause Takes On Hollywood Remakes

September 19, 2013 // 15 Comments

Hello! Howard Ganz here, manager of Long Awkward Pause, and I’m excited to introduce this week’s topic: Hollywood Remakes! It was sent in to us from Anonymous and reads; “Discuss Hollywood’s penchant for remaking movies or “rebooting” every goddam thing under the sun.” I don’t know where the name [Click For More]

The L.A.P. Tour Book Is Available!

September 17, 2013 // 29 Comments

Howard Gantz, Manager here! The long awaited Long Awkward Pause Official Photo Concert Tour Book For Dummies is on sale for a limited time! Pick up your yours today! There is only a limited number of copies available! Here is a small sampling of what you will find inside: Over 400 pages of photos and stories! Autographed copies available for an [Click For More]

Tickets Still Available!

September 11, 2013 // 14 Comments

Howard Gantz, manager here! Just a quick update! There are tickets still available for the end of September and the beginning of October for the L.A.P tour! The November show is sold out, sorry! Hope to see you there! Buy a [Click For More]

Coffee – A Short Musical

September 4, 2013 // 39 Comments

Curtain opens to a minimalist setting. A man dressed in a three piece suit sits at a table sipping a cup of coffee. His name is Ralph. Ralph: (Calling off stage) Honey…Honey I’m out of coffee. Can you brew some more? (pause) Honey? Lucy: (From off stage) Ralph! That’s your seventh cup already! Do you really want more?! Ralph: [Click For More]