Latest And Greatest

Geisha Silver Porn: The Reissue

December 8, 2015 // 16 Comments

The internet. Home to weirdos in search of naked silver geishas. What does that even mean? I’m not sure. I’m just a polite(ish) girl with a clever moniker — Gunmetal Geisha — playing messenger and bringing you the bizarre search terms that lead to my blog, gunmetalgeisha.com. Aside from the garden variety pervy searches, [Click For More]

A vote for me is a vote for anyone but Trump

December 6, 2015 // 21 Comments

For those of you who have been following me in my pursuit of “Performer of the Year” in the A Star is Born competition at The Public Blogger, then you know I’ve made the Final Four! *sound of old dog stretching* If you haven’t been following because you’ve had more important things to do, such as working on your [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME NINE

December 5, 2015 // 4 Comments

It’s a double issue of Social Saturdays! We took the Thanksgiving holiday off here at Long Awkward Pause, but social media never sleeps and our writers didn’t stop posting, tweeting, or snapchatting – even with two hands in the mashed potatoes and a mouth full of turkey. You’re probably following most of them and clicking like [Click For More]

Megacon Fan Days 2015 (The Mini Convention That Roared)

December 1, 2015 // 10 Comments

You have been standing in line for an hour. Ahead of you sits three kids wearing pokemon hats, two grown adults dressed as Captain American, four Norman Reedus clones and a partridge in a pear tree. Also, there is someone who looks like a cross between the Incredible Hulk and Spider-man. But you are not sure… You ask him. Yes. He is [Click For More]

Dumb Stuff the Weather Guy Says

November 30, 2015 // 36 Comments

Winter is coming – everyone’s least favorite season.  Between the snow and cold, we get to deal with falling on our asses because of ice, and shoveling tons of white crap off our walkways.  Unless you live in Florida, of course.  I excluded California since they shovel tons of white shit year-round. Weather people are supposed to [Click For More]

Happy Thanksgiving 2015

November 26, 2015 // 2 Comments

  As another Thanksgiving comes and goes, with the smell of turkey and over zealous pigskin testosterone filling the air, plus the promise of Black Friday starting on a Thursday…around 6 pm…looming ahead of us like bright shiny gold filled gum drops dropped by a half naked pudgy baby…we at Long Awkward Pause are thankful [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME EIGHT

November 21, 2015 // 3 Comments

It’s time for another installment of: Social Saturdays! Social Saturdays is the feature where we find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Snapchatting, or Emailing lately. Hell, I think one of us is still on Friendster. You’re probably following most of them [Click For More]

Your Thanksgiving questions answered by Mr. Knowitall

November 19, 2015 // 20 Comments

It’s been 395 years since that first Thanksgiving, when the Pilgrims and Wampanoag Indians sat down together in celebration and, much like the Americans of today, made a solemn vow not to eat more than your standard bull elk. We know this because of a passage recently discovered in the diary of Pilgrim Edward Winslow, who described the first [Click For More]

South Sobian Tinder

November 16, 2015 // 14 Comments

There is a small country located just south of Siberia called South Sobia. It’s small. It’s poor, but its people are proud. They work hard. They are mostly farmers and bar keeps. In fact, there are almost as many farmers as there are bar keeps. Weird. In the middle of South Sobia is where the library is located, and in the library [Click For More]

SOCIAL SATURDAYS ARE BACK – VOLUME SEVEN

November 14, 2015 // 6 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, or Emailing lately. But not Google+ …because Google+ is like a Scooby Doo ghost town. Even our crazies don’t go there anymore. You are probably following [Click For More]

Are the only sexy politicians the ones on TV?

November 12, 2015 // 23 Comments

When television entered the American mainstream, it was hailed as a miracle of the modern age. With the flick of a switch, we were connected to the world around us and it was a good thing. Just ask Martha. Decades later and television is now so much more than sitcoms and the nightly news. It’s a babysitter for our children. It’s an [Click For More]

Homecoming Season Advice

November 5, 2015 // 15 Comments

I came out of my cave and realized that we’re getting close to homecoming and/or prom season and other holiday-related date situation seasons.  By the way, the sun was really bright.  It hurt.  Moving on… I decided that all of the LAP Angry Dads out there (you know who you are) need a helpful guide to this perilous time of the [Click For More]

Social Saturdays Volume Six

October 31, 2015 // 10 Comments

Welcome to another installment of: Social Saturdays! This is where we find out what the staff members of Long Awkward Pause are Tweeting, Facebooking, Instragraming, MySpacing, Ebaying, Emailing, Halloweening, and whatever else they maybe doing instead of writing articles. You are probably following most of them anyway…and if you’re [Click For More]