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LAP

Captcha-Cracking for Dummies

December 13, 2013 // 30 Comments

The topic of Internet Security is hotter than a pancake these days.  Hacker outbreaks are occurring now on almost a weekly basis, and every time it happens, everybody scrambles around changing all of their personal passwords from ‘password’ to ‘123456’.  Smooth move. Unfortunately, many online hosting sites feel very differently about [Click For More]

Thanksgiving 2013

November 28, 2013 // 13 Comments

From our family here at Long Awkward Pause, to your family where ever they may be: Happy Turkey Day! I’ve just been told that by saying Happy Turkey Day, instead of saying the traditional Happy Thanksgiving, we may have confused the people of the country of Turkey, whom actually do not have a day of celebration called Turkey Day. We mean no [Click For More]

Another Thanksgiving Without a Gravy Trough

November 25, 2013 // 47 Comments

Another Thanksgiving is here and once again my mom has put the kibosh on my gravy trough proposal. Six years have passed since I incepted this bolt of brilliance, and for six straight years my mom has refused to become a part of history. It’s all “Oh, it’s not tradition,” and “No, that would be disgusting, Justin, stop asking for [Click For More]

Vampire Interviews, Top Gun, and Blood Sausage

October 26, 2013 // 21 Comments

It was daunting assignment and I had every right to be nervous.  Anyone would be a little scared; most people recognized how reopening a dialogue with a strange, mysterious neighbor after eighteen months of passively cherishing the mutual, silence would be more uncomfortable than fun-comfortable or pun-comfortable. My initial meeting with Devin [Click For More]

A Lurid Tale of Military Weapons Development

October 8, 2013 // 37 Comments

So I am supposed to write something – whatever pops into my defective head – upon seeing this picture. To be honest, my head about exploded, because Awesome Robot, and because Awesome Safe Sex. Actually, the second one not so much or so awesome, because No Junk Access (JA). Junk Access is important during sex, or so I seem to recall. I [Click For More]

LAP Update: Tour Stop Canceled in Kalamazoo, Michigan

September 30, 2013 // 31 Comments

Howard Gantz, manager here. It is with sad and great regret that I have to announce the Round Table on Oct. 5th in Kalamazoo, Michigan with Long Awkward Pause has been cancelled. If you have pre-purchased your tickets please email me and I will either send you tickets for another event or refund your money. If you live in the Michigan area I [Click For More]

The L.A.P. Tour Book Is Available!

September 17, 2013 // 29 Comments

Howard Gantz, Manager here! The long awaited Long Awkward Pause Official Photo Concert Tour Book For Dummies is on sale for a limited time! Pick up your yours today! There is only a limited number of copies available! Here is a small sampling of what you will find inside: Over 400 pages of photos and stories! Autographed copies available for an [Click For More]

Tickets Still Available!

September 11, 2013 // 14 Comments

Howard Gantz, manager here! Just a quick update! There are tickets still available for the end of September and the beginning of October for the L.A.P tour! The November show is sold out, sorry! Hope to see you there! Buy a [Click For More]

Coffee Addicts Anonymous

September 1, 2013 // 312 Comments

“My name is Justin.” “Hello, Justin.” “And I’m addicted to coffee. “I’m not-uh, not totally sure how this works; this is my first night.  Do I just?  Okay, I’ll just start then. “I had my first sip when I was thirteen.  You know how you do.  Just a half a cup, no more.  Home sick from school, parents leave for work and [Click For More]

Contest! Win A Long Awkward Pause Writer For A Week!

August 26, 2013 // 46 Comments

Announcing the Long Awkward Pause 2013 Contest! Win A Long Awkward Pause Writer For A Week! That’s right! Announcing the first Long Awkward Pause Contest where you could win a staff writer living with you for one whole week! Choose from Justin, Rants, Monk Monkey, Chris, Mike, Chowderhead, Owamwarisan, or Cordelia. If you win some of [Click For More]

Meet Howard Gantz, Manager

August 23, 2013 // 29 Comments

Hello, Howard Gantz, Manager here. In case you don’t who I am, I’m the manager of Long Awkward Pause. A hard but rewarding job that I do with pride every single day, except Sundays. Sundays are mine. Anyway, we get a lot of emails here at L.A.P…. A lot…. And I thought while the guys are busy preparing for September’s [Click For More]

L.A.P. Banned In China

August 19, 2013 // 59 Comments

This has been reprinted with permission from the online version of the Ohio Llama Sun Gazette:  Super Blogging Group Long Awkward Pause Has Been Banned In China reported by Jerry Wentworth It was just announced today by officials representing the People’s Republic of China that the super blogging group, Long Awkward Pause, will not be [Click For More]

Reported Member of LAP in Rehab

July 29, 2013 // 35 Comments

This was reported by TBZ.com, a rumor blog. Although it is ugly and untrue, we at Long Awkward Pause have decided to reprint the article in a stance of solidarity and empowerment…that and we are pretty sure you are sick of the reblogs. LAP would also like to release this statement: The article below is false and untrue. The members of LAP [Click For More]