Latest And Greatest

Issue #1 November 2013

Thanksgiving 2013

November 28, 2013 // 13 Comments

From our family here at Long Awkward Pause, to your family where ever they may be: Happy Turkey Day! I’ve just been told that by saying Happy Turkey Day, instead of saying the traditional Happy Thanksgiving, we may have confused the people of the country of Turkey, whom actually do not have a day of celebration called Turkey Day. We mean no [Click For More]

Another Thanksgiving Without a Gravy Trough

November 25, 2013 // 47 Comments

Another Thanksgiving is here and once again my mom has put the kibosh on my gravy trough proposal. Six years have passed since I incepted this bolt of brilliance, and for six straight years my mom has refused to become a part of history. It’s all “Oh, it’s not tradition,” and “No, that would be disgusting, Justin, stop asking for [Click For More]

An Interview With Author Rodney Lacroix

November 22, 2013 // 19 Comments

This was supposed to be an interview with author and humorist Rodney Lacroix, but since the man decided to release a book* and get married in the same week, I decided to do him a favor…well, more his for his bride… I decided do the article without him. Rodney agreed to do the interview mind you, but I have learned that women are crazy, [Click For More]

Bananas: Yesterday, today and forever

November 15, 2013 // 26 Comments

Now listen here all you dudes and dudettes and get with the program: the program of how to stay healthy, live well and have your mind opened by the glories upong glories, ya’ll! Many people, lizards and turtlemen come up to me and ask me the same question of me for which to get the answer, they be saying to me: ‘Oh, mighty Monk Monkey [Click For More]

Kiss’ Album ‘Destroyer’ Goes Platinum

November 11, 2013 // 30 Comments

Nov 11, 2013 On this day in Pop Culture History, KISS – the self-proclaimed biggest band in the world – propelled to the top of the rock charts, going platinum with their album Destroyer. Another equally notable event on this day worth mentioning:  Some kid in China farted. Twice. The immense popularity of this once controversial [Click For More]

What Really Sandpapers My B@!1$

November 4, 2013 // 48 Comments

Contrary to what most of you likely believe, I can actually read and shit. No kidding. I won’t blow your mind by insisting that I typed this myself, and my lips didn’t even move. That would be digressing. Do you know what really sandpapers my b@!1$? The endless series of news pieces that breathlessly announce precisely what sort of horrid crap [Click For More]