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Horoscopes

Bold Predictions for 2016

December 31, 2015 // 2 Comments

  2016 is almost upon us and the staff here at Long Awkward Pause decided to pull the Ouija board out of the LAP game closet, the Crystal Ball from under Ned’s cubicle, and the Tea Leaves from Blogdramedy’s favorite mug to try and predict what exactly is going to happen in the 2,016th year of the Common Era. By the way, 2016 has [Click For More]

LONG AWKWARD PAUSE PRESENTS: DECEMBER HOROSCOPES 2014

December 11, 2014 // 16 Comments

December 2014 Horoscopes – Compiled by Dr. Horatio Jackson-Smyth PhD, Psychic, Pokemon collector, and Crypto-zoologist The fire trine that Uranus (located in the naughty list) will form with Jupiter (located in the nice list) and with the fast planets that will cross Sagittarius (Venus, Mercury) will bring a wave of enthusiastic dynamism, of [Click For More]

LONG AWKWARD PAUSE PRESENTS: NOVEMBER HOROSCOPES 2014

November 13, 2014 // 14 Comments

November 2014 Horoscopes – Compiled by Dr. Horatio Jackson-Smyth PhD, Psychic, Netflix Subscriber, and Crypto-zoologist November 2014 will be a complex month, inconsistent and tough. Mars and Pluto will be together in Capricorn – a strong, determined combination, which will admirably focus on goals but which does not joke around and [Click For More]

LONG AWKWARD PAUSE PRESENTS: OCTOBER HOROSCOPES 2014

October 13, 2014 // 12 Comments

  October 2014 Horoscopes – Compiled by Dr. Horatio Jackson-Smyth PhD, Psychic, Pilates Instructor, and Crypto-zoologist In October relationships will again be an extremely sensitive issue, no matter if it is about couple relationships, friendships, Relationships will be tense and conflicts can easily appear out of anything. Avoid games [Click For More]

LONG AWKWARD PAUSE PRESENTS: SEPTEMBER HOROSCOPES 2014

September 12, 2014 // 4 Comments

September 2014 Horoscopes – Compiled by Dr. Horatio Jackson-Smyth PhD, Psychic, Sudoku Master, Ladies Man, and Crypto-zoologist   In September, friendship is magic, because two different astral configurations will operate: first will be the cardinal cross formed by Uranus (located in Aries), Jupiter (in Cancer), Mars (in Libra) and Pluto (in [Click For More]

LONG AWKWARD PAUSE PRESENTS: AUGUST 2014 HOROSCOPES

August 8, 2014 // 8 Comments

Compiled by Dr. Horatio Jackson-Smyth PhD, Psychic, Sudoku Master, and Crypto-zoologist     August 2014 will be marked simultaneously by the most beneficent and respectively the most dreadful of all astrological aspects. So buckle the f**k up, buttercup! The most dreadful astrological aspect will be the conjunction between Mars and [Click For More]

Long Awkward Pause Presents: March 2014 Horoscopes

March 10, 2014 // 28 Comments

by Dr. Horatio Jackson-Smyth PhD, Psychic and Crypto-zoologist March 2014 is a month with a lot of potential but complicated. March is a month of changes that will require flexibility, calmness and prudence to survive the upcoming Madness. Mercury has resumed its straight movement after trying out that bi thing for a while and it will now start [Click For More]