Latest And Greatest

Guest Post

So….Got Any Big Plans for the Weekend?

February 12, 2016 // 7 Comments

You almost forgot again, didn’t you? Well, never mind, you’ve just got time. Stop what you’re doing, before it’s too late. Clear your schedule. Have you taken care of dinner? Are you wearing the right clothes? Be sure that you’ve carefully set the mood, down to the last detail. You can’t afford to screw this [Click For More]

Ode to Mountain Dew

February 8, 2016 // 13 Comments

According to Wikipedia, in 1940 two Tennessee beverage bottlers named Barney and Ally Hartman invented the formula for Mountain Dew.  Below is my tribute to those two fine men: I walked into the 7-11 and quickly made my way to the back of the store where the drink coolers are located.  Immediately, I could see it staring back at me. The [Click For More]

Eclectic; A Hipster Conversation

January 22, 2016 // 14 Comments

byline: Jude the Hipster Eclectic; a hipster conversation From the Merriam Webster online dictionary- ECLECTIC: (n) one who uses a method or approach that is composed of elements drawn from various sources; one who uses an eclectic method or approach. For the most part, people who use the term “eclectic” really piss me off.  Generally, people [Click For More]

2016: We Aren’t Potty Trained

January 14, 2016 // 11 Comments

2015 has come and is gone the way of anyone’s intestines after a two-hour long Indian food fest: down the drain, hopefully without the help of a plunger or a plumber. Let me further this metaphor, and I apologize ahead of time if you are currently eating. Let’s imagine that each year represents a pair of underwear in America’s [Click For More]

General Tso, who are you?

January 4, 2016 // 7 Comments

General Tso, who are you? Wikepedia describes you as a general who lived in Xiangyin during the 1800’s, yet the dish named after you was never eaten there, nor anywhere else near your city. What gives General? Who are you General? The world wants to know. The “chef’s special” wants to know. The mall food court wants to know who you are. I [Click For More]

In Which The Dog and I Discuss the New Pope

October 13, 2015 // 17 Comments

I had a conversation with the dog today.  We were talking about the new pope.  For the first time ever, I am actually not only aware of the Pope’s activities, but I am also finding I actually kinda like this Pope.  I tried to explain this to Malachi, but it turns out, he’s not a very [Click For More]

Guest Post: Today My Toddler Didn’t Break Me

January 14, 2015 // 68 Comments

If the great Gavin McInnes, founder of Vice and godfather of the hipster movement, taught us anything, it’s that people take parenting way too seriously. There is a definitive point where we leave the realm of good parenting and enter into the already exceeding capacity pool of idiots. A man should be defined by how he handles morons. If you [Click For More]

Intercultural Misunderstandings in the Dog World

November 6, 2014 // 10 Comments

  Welcome today’s Guest Poster: Ellen Hawley. A former New Yorker, now living in the land of Cornwall. That’s in the U.K. in case your geography is super bad. Her blog can be found at  Notes from the U.K. , which talks about such New York to England differences. She is the author of two novels,Open Line and Trip [Click For More]

If Kimye Made a Music Video

October 6, 2014 // 10 Comments

  Jacyln is the queen of the three S’s: sassy, snarky and sarcastic. You can find her at: snarkybrunette.com where she writes about pop culture, dating, life, pop culture, people, random things, and pop culture. You can also find her on her YouTube Channel: Snarky TV.     [Click For More]

Long Awkward Pause Celebrates Robin Williams

August 13, 2014 // 50 Comments

There is no doubt your Facebook/Twitter feeds are currently full of pictures of Mrs. Doubtfire as well as Aladdin and that hilarious genie sharing a heartfelt hug. No secret as of today, Robin Williams is dead. Social media is mourning, the only way Social media can. That’s by sharing animated gifs, frowny emoticons, and pictures of nature [Click For More]

Guest Post: Bucket List

July 28, 2014 // 28 Comments

Angelle doesn’t like cilantro, likes inappropriate jokes, and is dating Superman. Donate to her Kickstarter to bring back the monocle and then check out her site: She Drives A Vegetable Car. You’re about to turn 30. What have you done? 30 is SO OLD. Like, really, really old. You might even remember that time before cell phones and the [Click For More]

Introblurting:  Raising the ‘Socially Awkward’ Bar

May 20, 2014 // 40 Comments

Everybody please put your hands together in party-clap fashion for today’s guest poster, Rachelle from A Rich Full Life In Spite Of It, as she dances her way down the Soul Train line and takes her place in front of the podium and hot-mic.  *Feedback*  Be sure to check her site out HERE, where Rachelle gives her humorous take on parenting, [Click For More]

Burn Gingers And Save The Planet!

April 27, 2014 // 31 Comments

Everybody please welcome guest speaker Jim O’Sullivan from GingerFightBack.com.  On Jim’s page you will find gingers, poetry, nonsense, red hair, hope, and sausages. Not necessarily in that order. Jim is a great friend of LAP so be sure to check out his site. Also, if you are a ginger and are having trouble with bullies, Jim has some [Click For More]

The Stoopididity of Newspapers

March 26, 2014 // 58 Comments

Hola, Y’all! I am the Fearless Leader of the Dumbass Horde, Head Janitor, Chief Bottle Washer and Man About Town at my blog, Dumbass News. I have been invited by the fine folks at LAP to regale you with the Magic That Is Dumbassery. When first invited to guest speak at Long Awkward Pause, I thought to myself, “These people are [Click For More]

Survival Tips for “Hotels on a Budget”

February 26, 2014 // 66 Comments

Amy Reese grew up in Southern California in a family of six kids in a noisy household with lots of music, listening to anything and everything from Duke Ellington to Led Zeppelin.  She now lives in Northern California, just outside of Sacramento, with her husband and two sons.  In her blog, she  writes some stories, anything that strikes her as [Click For More]

Can straight men benefit from watching The Bachelor?

January 22, 2014 // 41 Comments

  Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available  from Port Hole Publications, Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble . Hi. My name is Ned and I watch The Bachelor. I’ve been a heterosexual for 17,155 days and counting. I can see the looks of confusion but [Click For More]