Latest And Greatest

Christopher De Voss

The Future of Movies Has A Name: Kung Fury

June 5, 2015 // 18 Comments

Kung Fury hit Kickstarter back on December of 2013. This date will be as important to remember as all other important dates that we are made to remember…such as: There are a few others, but our Google hand is tired already. In an age of 53 gazillion dollar four hour blockbusters, this crowd funded 30 minute film costs a mere $630,000. It [Click For More]

This Week On Earth: May 17th – May 23rd 2015

May 23, 2015 // 5 Comments

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of: May 17th – May 23rd 2015   This Is One Way To Make Baseball More Interesting Hey People! Cameras are everywhere! Everywhere! When are you going to realize this? Now we know Baseball is boring…we get it. [Click For More]

This Week On Earth: May 10th – May 16th 2015

May 16, 2015 // 2 Comments

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of: May 10th – May 16th 2015   Puff, Puff…Can’t Pass…I’m On Satellite If you are on South African television having a debate about the legalization of marijuana, and the opposing side is nipping [Click For More]

This Week On Earth: May 3rd – May 9th 2015

May 9, 2015 // 4 Comments

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of:  May 3rd – May 9th 2015   This Is What Happens When You Forget To Put Extra Ketchup In The To Go Bag A crazed (and probably hopped up on the drugs) man enters a restaurant and completely trashes the place. We are [Click For More]

This Week On Earth: April 26th – May 2nd 2015

May 2, 2015 // 16 Comments

Hello Saturday! Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of: April 26th – May 2nd 2015 Burning Down The House At the top of the list is the Baltimore Riots. What better way to show injustice over police violence then to violently destroy your city so more police can be present. [Click For More]

Win One Zero One The Card Game!

April 29, 2015 // 19 Comments

Now that Long Awkward Pause has hit the big time…and by big time we mean ALL of our Moms now read it…we have stock piled a mass of things to give away. (Big thanks to my Mom for finally jumping on board. She was the last lone hold out.) Who doesn’t like to receive things for free? Unless it’s a STD…everyone! (Some [Click For More]

The Long Awkward St. Patrick’s Day Review

March 17, 2015 // 33 Comments

I’m trying to type quietly because I want to die.  In a burst of corporate largesse, Howard flipped me the LAP Corporate Black Card.  He commissioned me and De Voss to conduct holiday research on St. Patrick’s Day from a Boston pub crawl perspective.  What follows are my notes, made along the way.  Enjoy.  I’m going off to [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Stormtroopers Are People Too!

February 14, 2015 // 13 Comments

  With the new Star Wars movie on the horizon, the Death Star Public Relations team is looking for ways to beef up the tainted image of the Galactic Empire. They say there is no such thing as bad press…but Darth Vader and company have a lot of ill feelings to try to patch. Plus they lost a lot of support in the Alderaan camp…like a [Click For More]

Updated Cliches For The Social Media World

February 9, 2015 // 20 Comments

Cliches have been around for centuries. We all know them. We all use them. Some of us love them. Some of us love them too much. One subject cliches have yet to tackle is: Social Media! You know…Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, FarmersOnly.com, etc. We understand that most of these sayings were written around the same time that the Bible hit [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Scary Wedding Couples

January 31, 2015 // 36 Comments

   Here comes the bride… All dressed in… What?! What do you do when your lovely bride to be wants to dress like characters from Lord of the Rings? Do you start off your marriage on a ‘hell no!’? Or do you give in and look ridiculous for that one day… …plus the $2000 worth of photography to remember it by for [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Awkward Baby Photos

January 24, 2015 // 35 Comments

   Those precious baby years of development and wonder only happen once. Think about those baby wide sparkly eyes, the cute little high pitched laughter, the pudgy baby feets, the acceptable double baby chins… Awwww! Remember to capture these moments while you can, because one day those cute, little marshmallow sponges of curiosity will [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Enhanced Thrift Store Paintings

January 17, 2015 // 24 Comments

  *singing* I’m going to pop some tags…got twenty dollars in my pocket…got kicked out of the thrift store for singing this song too much…my hair kinda makes me look like Roger from Doug…*done singing* David Irvine is an artist on a mission to save bad paintings from their own wooded country road drippy selves. He [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Pretty Amazing Beds

January 10, 2015 // 26 Comments

   Doesn’t matter how rich or how poor you are… The bed is the one piece of furniture that makes your house a home… It’s the one thing you look forward too at the end of a long day… It’s the one thing you don’t want to get out of on a cold day… It makes breakfast taste exotic… It makes being [Click For More]

Long Awkward Pause Reviews Movies It Hasn’t Seen Yet

January 5, 2015 // 26 Comments

The new year is starting and budget is really tight here at Long Awkward Pause. Basically we spent it all on the biggest, baddest, New Years Eve Party ever! (You may have seen it on the news.) Originally we were going to introduce a new segment called: Long Awkward Pause Reviews The Movies  But then the accountants started to get their grubby [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: When You Don’t Care Anymore

December 27, 2014 // 21 Comments

  Some people fear getting old. And some people can’t wait. There are some nice benefits to it: discounts, retirement, early dinners, electric scooters, jello, being an extra on those Lifeline Medical Alert commercials, and most importantly, being able to say whatever-the-hell you want, when you want. “Can you believe Bob just said [Click For More]

The New Modern Holiday Carol

December 25, 2014 // 38 Comments

There is a plague in this country that is far worse than Malaria, Black Death, or even Ebola. And that plague is called Political Correctness. What this blight does is stop people from recognizing that it’s OK to be different. Imagine a world full of the one type of people and culture. How boring. Even the Holidays are not immune to this [Click For More]