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The Saturday Six: Ad Placements Gone Horribly Wrong

January 25, 2014 // 65 Comments

Welcome to another installment of the Saturday Six!  Grab your cup of java and crueler before you start reading though.  Ha!  We didn’t say Simon says! Ok, apologies for the dumb joke. Happy Saturday! _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ 1.  Wait, Shameless? On second [Click For More]

Lady Gaga Gets Devoured by Vanity Fair

January 6, 2014 // 39 Comments

One year ago today, the infamous beef-humping Lady Gaga graced the cover page of Vanity Fair.   *Cough..Putz* A non-reputable and overpaid media source heralds Gaga as one of the world’s most popular icons in Music and Fashion today, but poll studies show however, that the entire continent of Africa disagrees.   When asked, the same [Click For More]

Captcha-Cracking for Dummies

December 13, 2013 // 30 Comments

The topic of Internet Security is hotter than a pancake these days.  Hacker outbreaks are occurring now on almost a weekly basis, and every time it happens, everybody scrambles around changing all of their personal passwords from ‘password’ to ‘123456’.  Smooth move. Unfortunately, many online hosting sites feel very differently about [Click For More]

Ask the Staff: A Question for Chowderhead

November 27, 2013 // 28 Comments

***** Occasionally we will get probing questions from our readers for the staff to answer. Occasionally we don’t. This could or could not be one of those occasions. You decide which. ***** Question for Chowderhead: Ok we had a question dropped in the box the other day that has be absolutely stumped.  The question comes from a dude by the name [Click For More]

Picture Prompt: While My Keytar Gently Weeps. In my Bed.

October 11, 2013 // 38 Comments

Chowderhead says: Before putting on my bifocals, I thought I was looking at a crash test dummy about to get scooped up by a tractor shovel: Man, I was way off. But that woulda been just as cool as learning how to play the piano..while the same time. If that were me laying in bed playing the piano, I’d get about three notes in [Click For More]

Long Awkward Pause Takes On The Picture Prompt

October 7, 2013 // 20 Comments

Howard Gantz, manager here. It’s hard to believe it’s October already! Christmas is less than 90 days away. You are welcome for that thought! We at Long Awkward Pause have a great October planned for you! Speaking of October, be sure to grab your tickets to the L.A.P. Annual Halloween Costume Party. This years event will be held at [Click For More]

Contest! Win A Long Awkward Pause Writer For A Week!

August 26, 2013 // 46 Comments

Announcing the Long Awkward Pause 2013 Contest! Win A Long Awkward Pause Writer For A Week! That’s right! Announcing the first Long Awkward Pause Contest where you could win a staff writer living with you for one whole week! Choose from Justin, Rants, Monk Monkey, Chris, Mike, Chowderhead, Owamwarisan, or Cordelia. If you win some of [Click For More]

Twinkie Prohibition

August 8, 2013 // 44 Comments

It never fails in this country; there’s always some party-pooper going out of his way to make sure that every last fun thing is sought out and removed from our lives.  This time its the Health Hippies – bawling on about Twinkies.  Preservatives this and cholesterol that… Blah Blah Blah! When exactly did a little bit of [Click For More]

Reported Member of LAP in Rehab

July 29, 2013 // 35 Comments

This was reported by, a rumor blog. Although it is ugly and untrue, we at Long Awkward Pause have decided to reprint the article in a stance of solidarity and empowerment…that and we are pretty sure you are sick of the reblogs. LAP would also like to release this statement: The article below is false and untrue. The members of LAP [Click For More]