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Articles by Gunmetal Geisha

About Gunmetal Geisha (6 Articles)
Standing at the well of inspiration, coaxing with a stick of dynamite.

Geisha Silver Porn: The Reissue

December 8, 2015 // 16 Comments

The internet. Home to weirdos in search of naked silver geishas. What does that even mean? I’m not sure. I’m just a polite(ish) girl with a clever moniker — Gunmetal Geisha — playing messenger and bringing you the bizarre search terms that lead to my blog, gunmetalgeisha.com. Aside from the garden variety pervy searches, [Click For More]

How To Slow Down Time

October 5, 2015 // 4 Comments

It’s not only that time goes by so quickly or our attention spans are low. It’s context. Within a two-week period, we jump from a summer state-of-mind to fall just because Costco decides it’s time to sell Halloween stuff right after 4th of July. I see Halloween orange and black, and I immediately think Thanksgiving, because, pumpkin-overlap. [Click For More]

Die Cellulite, Die

April 9, 2015 // 7 Comments

Cellulite, wherefore art thou? And by “wherefore” I definitely mean “why,” not the commonly mistaken “where,” especially because no one has trouble locating this enemy of our ass, ever. So tell me, cellulite, why? We eat right, we exercise, we have decent genes, yet there you are, the dreaded “surface of [Click For More]

Weird Things We Do For Love

October 24, 2014 // 18 Comments

It was 103º in July and I was driving 300 miles to see the snowboarding mountain upstart with the smoldering gaze I’d met on the slopes a few months earlier. My heart was a restless puppy. Forty miles into my drive, my 20-year-old Corolla’s temperature gauge was in the red, dangerously close to overheating. But I wasn’t going to be stopped, [Click For More]

Tinder Swiping: The DOs and DON’Ts

September 9, 2014 // 42 Comments

On Tinder, we get to swiftly subject people to the basest yet most factored-in dating criterion: looks. You swipe right or left on your phone indicating yea or nay to a potential date based on a user’s picture. That makes Tinder efficient, honest and deliciously cruel. Swiping left means you theoretically never have to see that profile again. [Click For More]