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Articles by Christopher De Voss

About Christopher De Voss (132 Articles)
One Of The Hosts Of Podcast 42. Voice over actor, writer on various websites, published author, should not eat cheese but still does. Follow me on twitter: @chrisdevoss Follow the show on twitter at @podcast42show

The Saturday Six: FML

March 8, 2014 // 33 Comments

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Today my dog threw up in my shoe and my wife decided that she wanted to become a man, so she tried on my shoes and stepped in the dog vomit. Then she got mad at me because she hates the dog for it’s views on Socialist Government. [Click For More]

The New Light And Air Diet Isn’t For Anyone

March 5, 2014 // 65 Comments

Breatharian’s are lucky, or unlucky…depending on how you look at it…because a Breatharian doesn’t eat. They exist solely on light and air and nothing else. This makes taking one out to dinner a really, really, cheap date. I’ll have the steak, medium rare and a loaded baked potato. My date here just lives on light and [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Pixar’s Take On R – Rated Movies

March 1, 2014 // 46 Comments

There is this guy named Josh Cooley who works for a really cool company called Pixar Animation.  They make award winning, multi-million dollar grossing animated features about finding lost fish,  toys coming to life,  talking cars, a little robot that finds love while collecting trash, which has turned Pixar into one of the most successful film [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Truth In Slogans

February 22, 2014 // 42 Comments

There are some iconic logos out there in the corporate world.  Probably the most famous is McDonald’s. Whenever you see the golden arches, you immediately associate it with things like hamburgers, french fries, milkshakes, chicken nuggets, Ronald McDonald, and diarrhea. When your sitting on a mountain  and your butt becomes a fountain  [Click For More]

America In Crisis: Clown Shortage 2014

February 19, 2014 // 55 Comments

National Clown Week is celebrated the first week of every August. This year’s festivities might be in jeopardy due to a record drop in enrollment of the world’s famous Clown College. That’s right, not including the politicians, America might finally be running into a critical shortage of clowns. For over 30 years anyone and [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Dear…Sincerely

February 15, 2014 // 70 Comments

Before the internet, the age of stationery ruled. *Cue nerd in a Game of Thrones costume: “AND it was a GLORIOUS age!”* What is stationery you ask? Well, in the olden days (we’re talking like, sometime between when Jesus walked the Earth and 1983) most people relied on Number 2 pencils and neatly cut squares of paper called [Click For More]

Five Winter Olympic Events That Got Cut At Sochi

February 11, 2014 // 70 Comments

Whether your favorite Winter Olympic event is the Luge… Figure Skating… or that one event with the skis and the guns that no one knows the name of… …at every Olympics there are a few events that don’t quite fit into the gaming spirit. Long Awkward Pause was able to obtain a list of this year’s cuts that were [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Funny Pie Charts

February 8, 2014 // 48 Comments

What’s better than pie charts? Pie, of course! Once upon a time at the LAP Thanksgiving dinner there was, or what we thought was,  a big, beautiful pumpkin pie.  Our taste were set and waiting to taste that delicious pumpkin pie. We waited. And waited. And sat through football… And sat through dinner… And sat through [Click For More]

Super Bowl Prop Bets For 2014

February 2, 2014 // 48 Comments

What is a prop bet you ask? Well, since you read the question above that asked you to ask me…I will tell you. A prop bet is a series of wages that take on other aspects of the game besides who wins and by how much. They can involve anything from the color of Gatorade dumped on the coach to the number of times a Budweiser commercial is shown. [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Funny Text Messages

February 1, 2014 // 29 Comments

Good morning, sleepy-faces!  Here’s a funny Saturday Six for ya.  Now go grab yourself a coffee. Happy Saturday! ________________________________________________________________________________ 1.)  I Don’t Believe You Show me again. 2.)  Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones Try to limit your daily cell phone usage to minimize the [Click For More]

The Saturday Six: Ad Placements Gone Horribly Wrong

January 25, 2014 // 65 Comments

Welcome to another installment of the Saturday Six!  Grab your cup of java and crueler before you start reading though.  Ha!  We didn’t say Simon says! Ok, apologies for the dumb joke. Happy Saturday! _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ 1.  Wait, Shameless? On second [Click For More]

Interview: Taste-Testing Bizzare Foods

January 13, 2014 // 80 Comments

Ed Ames unlocks the studio door for me, as I enter the dimly lit corridor. “Shhhh!” he says.  “Remember, we are not suppose to be here.” “I know,” I mouth back. I am at a secret location which is an old  movie and TV set. We continue down the hall until we reach the aging wooden stage. On the stage sits a lone [Click For More]

Publicity Stunt

December 27, 2013 // 0 Comments

Originally posted on Breezy Books:
Christopher De Voss. Nice guy who writes some pretty cool stories and makes me laugh with his blog. I’m a fan since June of 2012. Are you wondering why I’m mentioning him, when I’m supposed to be yammering about Adam [Click For More]

Thanksgiving 2013

November 28, 2013 // 13 Comments

From our family here at Long Awkward Pause, to your family where ever they may be: Happy Turkey Day! I’ve just been told that by saying Happy Turkey Day, instead of saying the traditional Happy Thanksgiving, we may have confused the people of the country of Turkey, whom actually do not have a day of celebration called Turkey Day. We mean no [Click For More]

An Interview With Author Rodney Lacroix

November 22, 2013 // 19 Comments

This was supposed to be an interview with author and humorist Rodney Lacroix, but since the man decided to release a book* and get married in the same week, I decided to do him a favor…well, more his for his bride… I decided do the article without him. Rodney agreed to do the interview mind you, but I have learned that women are crazy, [Click For More]