10 New Major Endorsements Won By Donald Trump
Last week, Donald Trump’s presidential campaign had received a major boost when in a public appearance, former vice-presidential candidate and TV personality Sarah Palin went on raving and incoherent rant about Donald Trump and America, which most experts agreed constituted an endorsement of Donald Trump’s candidacy for president. But winning the coveted endorsement from Sarah Palin was just a start, and Trump has landed a lot of huge new endorsements from all kinds of people and organization. Here are 10 of these endorsements.
Donald Trump stands visibly uncomfortable while getting endorsed by Sarah Palin. I guess endorsement by Sarah Palin is probably like your own conception: you want it to happen, but don’t want to be there when it happens.
1) American Academy of Ophthalmology: “In his speeches, Donald Trump promises to be looking at a lot of things when he becomes president. Our organization recognizes and celebrates the utmost importance of looking at things, and supports any candidate who shares our values.”
2) Association of Bankruptcy Lawyers: “As people who have worked with Mr. Trump many times over the years, we are impressed by his perseverance and his ability to create hundreds of new jobs in many of our law firms. We believe that under Donald Trump’s leadership, America will enter a new chapter.”
3) Hair Club For Men: “Donald Trump cares about what’s important for our members. He knows all about growth, managing scarce resources, and his hair redistribution plan is just amazing.”
4) Mensa International Society: “Previously, we had required all applicants for membership in our organization to take an IQ test to prove their superior intelligence. However, thanks to Donald Trump, we have been able to greatly simplify the admissions process to simply look at prospective applicants’ Facebook comments mentioning Donald Trump.”
5) National Rifle Association: “Recent Trump’s comments that he could randomly shoot someone in the middle of a street and not lose votes prove that Donald Trump is serious about defending our constitutional right to randomly shoot people on the street.”
6) Donald Trump’s reflection in the mirror: “Look, I know Donald better than anyone else. I literally spend several hours every day with him. He isn’t some egotistical maniac people make him out to be. No, he’s the kindest, most selfless man alive – all he cares about is my needs and my wants.”
7) Neanderthals: “Ooogoo! Gooogoo! Ughh! Arrrhhhgoo! Trump yuuuge! Obama boo! Homo Sapiens go back! Go Trump!” (Sorry, that may have been Sarah Palin’s endorsement again…)
8) Donald Trump’s Ex-Wife Association: “The choice to support Donald was a difficult one for our organization and many of our members had initially opposed it, but we ultimately decided to endorse Donald Trump for president, because we can’t possibly rob America of this amazing sense of hope and happiness the country would be filled with as soon as Donald’s term is over.”
9) Coalition for Mexican Immigrants Rights: “You may be surprised that we chose to endorse Donald Trump after he had promised to build a giant wall on the border with Mexico. However, where do you think President Trump is going to find the workers he needs to build this wall?”
10) American Comedian Guild: “Did you hear the joke about Donald Trump? Well, we got about a million more of them, and we’re not going to run out of them until at least 2025.”
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As an ostensible LAP follower, I saw the Excellent article by the mysterious “X” on the wonderful support given Mr. Trump by various well-known and indeed, crucial American organizations. I understand that “X” had to choose the most impressive of the plethora of endorsements in order to meet his article length requirements. This leaves some very important endorsements unsaid and I feel it is good and right to mention a few:
11) The Nuclear Missile and Weapons Association: “We are delighted to support Mr. Trump’s candidacy as he is the only one who we feel will actually use nuclear weapons as a central plank in his foreign policy. This will provide many jobs in our industry and inject life and pride back into a much besieged manufacturing base. We are hoping that he may even consider exporting nukes to countries he favors such as Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Ethiopia (to support their anti-pirate initiative), etc.)”
12) The Canadian Ambassador to the United States: “My unspoken mission to surreptitiously recruit the best of the American intelligentsia is especially supported by the election of Mr. Trump. Please know that if you are a healthy, smart American you will be considered a refuge in fear of his life if Mr. Trump gets elected. As such, in support of my mission, I heartily endorse Mr. Trump’s candidacy. He could make me the most celebrated and honored Ambassador when it comes to our yearly awards for recruiting the best and brightest of the American citizens. Please vote Trump.”
Ha! Great post X – very funny. 😀
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You’re right, there were many many more huge endorsements for Donald Trump. Donald Trump is probably the most well-endorsed candidate of all time.
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13) The International Alliance of Hotties From Eastern Europe and FSO (Former Soviet Oppression). Something over there in the water makes ’em hot, and The Donald knows it. Their spokesperson: “We’ll never give up the dream of Donnie needing another model-esque woman with a thick Slavic accent and too many consonants in her name.”
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I’m sure one of the first actions of Donald Trump as president would be to legalize polygamy so that he could thank the IAHFEEAFSO for their support by marrying as many of their members as he can.
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Be careful. the Donald may be coming after you when he is done with the Pope.
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Considering the amount of free advertising I’m going to get, it will be worth it.
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#3 is particularly hilarious 😀
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I want to see how they are going to stop him
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I don’t think they are….by the way, our new home is: overthelineshow.wordpress.com
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