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LAP’s Cooking Playlist

 

I have two major passions in my life. Oops, forgot about the kids – make that THREE major passions in my life.   But this isn’t a mommy blog, so you’re stuck with the other two.

The first is food.  Pretty obvious considering my blogging name, right? I love making food, eating other food that people made for me, reading about food, telling others about food.   The only thing I don’t like about food is being covered in it while naked virgins lick it off me.

But I’m willing to learn.

The second is music.   People always assume my dream job would be to open a restaurant. Hell NO!   Who needs that grief?    My dream job would a rock or pop star of some kind for the money, the fame, the artistic expression.     And – oh yeah – the naked virgins licking me.

(I tried finding a funny picture by  Googling “Naked Virgins Licking Me.”  But, alas, I couldn’t settle on one.   But you may have better luck.    Let me know how that goes)

I used to love putting together mixtapes.    Back in the day, no party was complete without one of mine.   They turned the lamest of sausage-fest parties into epic galas.    A whole generation of Chicagoans was conceived to my mixtapes.    This was back when they were actually on tapes –

Pandorify

 

So imagine my dismay when someone told me that Guy Fieri has a mixtape.   You know who he is, right?   He owns a bunch of restaurants, has hosted several shows on TV, and is arguably responsible for the rising popularity of cooking amongst men.

fieriseattleweeklycom

 

He’s also the biggest, fucking douchebag I’ve ever laid eyes on.   The hair, the sunglasses, the bowling shirts, the overgrown fratboy “BRO!” attitude.   And that douchebaggery extends to his restaurant menu with items like “Guy-talian Fondue Dippers,” “Righteous Rojo Rings,” “The Mayor of Flavortown Burger,” and “Brutha’s Badass Caesar Salad.” (OK, that last one is pretty cool.)

So it comes to no surprise that his mixtape would contain songs like “Foodie Fuccbois” and “Grease Trap Queen” –

fieri mixtape

 

It even has Fieri’s own Kid Rock-style hiphop song “Donkey Sauce”

 

 

 

Alas, it’s all fake.

But since I’m probably the second biggest douche you’ll encounter today, I feel that qualifies me to fill this Guy Fieri void.   I’ve decided to put together my own food mixtape. … Er, I guess that would be a “playlist” because I just sold my cassette player on eBay.

None of it’s food related (except for the name of one of the artists), just music that I groove to while cooking.   Bon appétit!

 

1 – Deadmau5 – Raise Your Weapon

2 – T.I. –  Whatever you Like

3 – Allman Brothers Band – Rambling Man

4 – Grits – Ooh ahh   (Clearly not the real Grits, but pretty damn hilarious. Sigh, white people)

5 – Daft Punk – Digital Love

6 – Missy Elliot – Work It

 

7 – Green Day – When I come Around

8 – Led Zeppelin – Fool in the Rain

9 – Concrete Schoolyard – Jurassic Five

10 – Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing

 

 

What’s on your playlist?

 


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About thefoodandwinehedonist (9 Articles)
I don't know everything about the world of food and wine, but I'm not going to let a small detail like that stop me from blogging about it.

12 Comments on LAP’s Cooking Playlist

  1. Disturbed. They dominate my playlist.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have to admit…I love bowling shirts….

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Music. Food. Alcohol. The Holy Trinity of Inspiration and gateway to sacred sex.
    Namasté
    नमस्ते
    Chazz Vincent

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nice post, very funny. I’m going to start liking Fieri in about 20 years, when his bowling shirts are finally vintage.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. blech @ fieri…but i can see myself cooking up a mean gumbo to missy elliot! Usually I put on anything latin for cooking…i save the south indian stuff for folding laundry for some reason…go figure.

    Liked by 1 person

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