byline: Jude the Hipster
Eclectic; a hipster conversation
From the Merriam Webster online dictionary- ECLECTIC: (n) one who uses a method or approach that is composed of elements drawn from various sources; one who uses an eclectic method or approach.
For the most part, people who use the term “eclectic” really piss me off. Generally, people who throw this term aimlessly into the air from their PBR stained lips are hipsters or contestants on the Bachelor. (For brevity purposes, I’m going to focus on hipsters.)
Hipsters are always trying to sound cooler than the current year they live in. Let me explain a bit here. They never live in the present, that would be far too practical and mainstream. They are either dressing, talking, smelling like they live in a previous era or they are attempting to create a new, futuristic beard/side-burn concoction.
But at the end of the day, they are exactly like every other douche bag who is trying overly hard to be fancier than the obscure craft beer they are drinking. In their effort to be diverse, they all end up being the exactly the same.
Here’s a small example of how the conversation may go down: (a normal, secure person sparking up a conversation with a Hipster)
Normal Secure Person: Hi there, what kind of music do you like?
Hipster: Well, I have a very eclectic taste in music. I listen to a wide variety of artists, except Top 40 of course. I don’t like to categorize anything or pigeon hole any artists, that would be unfair to their process.
Normal Secure Person: Wow, that was an especially ironic answer. What exactly do you do for a living?
Hipster: I work at the vintage record store downtown across from Starbucks.
Normal Secure Person: Fuck off, do the world a favor and wear some deodorant.
“Eclectic” was once a lovely word until hipsters turned it into an annoying, buzzing ear dagger. It saddens me that hipsters overuse this word in an attempt to validate their marginal lives. I don’t make this shit up. If you don’t believe me, go stand outside any big city consignment shop and open your ears……… but be sure to close your nostrils.
You can find more hipster comedy at www.hipsterstories.wordpress.com
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