Men That Cannot Get Laid
Have you ever met a straight man and thought to yourself…hmmmmmmmmmmm the only vagina you have ever seen was the one that you gave you life?
The reason why they are not dating, or having any sort of a sexual relationship with a woman is because they lack communication skills. Period. End of story.
Some men just do not get the concept of how to talk to women; I believe they see it as speaking to another species.
If you want to date straight women, then do not say/ or do stupid shit like this:
DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT say any kind of remark that could be perceived as a “fat joke”. You want to piss a woman off tell her she is fat. Seriously, we hate that. Not only is it offensive, but it is super rude, and will leave you alone in life with your hand.
DO NOT compare a woman to another woman. It is like dating suicide. I don’t care about your ex or about some broad you loved in high school. The only woman I want to be compared to is myself.
Do not play the dick card and think it is going to get you laid. I’ve had guys say rude things to me thinking that it will help them get a first class ticket inside of my vagina. It didn’t work. It only got them blocked on ALL social media accounts.
If we show no interest in you. We literally don’t give a fuck. It is not that difficult to understand. Move on.
Ladies…thoughts?
MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:
Facebook: Long Awkward Pause
Twitter: @LongAwkPause
Pinterest: Long Awkward Pause
Podcast: iTunes, PodOmatic, TuneIN, Stitcher
Email: longawkpause@gmail.com
Would you like to see a topic discussed on LAP? Click HERE.
longawkwardpause.wordpress.com 
Hahha. Funny yet true!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks 🙂
LikeLike
Learn the art of conversation and you will get laid, though I’m not sure at what point.
LikeLiked by 1 person
ahahahaahahahah!!
LikeLike
I’ve found the key to talking to women is to be attractive. It’s amazing how much more crap a woman will take from a guy she thinks is hot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sad but often true. Then again, a guy can be “hot” and still not strike the right chord to elicit a desire to date. In the past, I have dumped plenty of pretty sexy guys because something about them annoyed me out of attraction.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Men you may not be attracted to at first, become far more attractive if they can carry a conversation. The conversation is what attracted me to my husband of almost 30 yrs now. I don’t know many women who will take crap from a guy just because he is hot. Hot is not everything.
LikeLiked by 1 person
In the long-term, no. But in the short-term, I think – and this goes for both genders – people will give someone much more of a chance if they’re good looking.
LikeLike
Men purporting to comprehend women is as offensive as women purporting to understand men. Lay off pretending to comprehend us. You’re way off the mark.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s not really what I took from this at all. It was mostly a women’s POV of some of the tactics men use to pick us up. Seems pretty straight forward. The only part where she makes any assumption on men is in the opening paragraphs. If it offends you, maybe you need to relax a bit.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah – and because some men (and women) are sluts doesn’t create a universality. The piece was a generalization. It wasn’t true. It sounded like she’d been hurt and needed to vent her frustration in a typical sprawl of female illogicality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Okay…so, you just took issue with her alleged generalizations and inaccuracies, “universalities” (which, again, I say the fact that you interpreted it that way says more about you than anything) and then made some asinine remark about the “typical sprawl of female illogicality?” Is that supposed to be irony? Sounds like you’ve been burned by a female who doesn’t put up with your bullshit and need to vent in a typical sprawl of male misogyny. See, aren’t generalizations fun? I’m done here, but you keep on being butthurt about a humor article.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for all your comments!! I appreciate them and glad you seemed to like the post 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Humor being the key word here! It’s ok to laugh!
LikeLike
I thought the post was funny.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So did I
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for your thoughts Bruce. It is okay to disagree with me, we all have different opinions based upon different life experiences.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Need a Poster Child for this Problem?
LikeLiked by 1 person
What about this: “Hi. I am worth fifty billion dollars, most of it liquid.” This followed by slapping your bank statement down on the bar. *whack* “See?”
LikeLiked by 3 people
I’ve always thought as women we should teach a class on the do’s and don’ts of talking to us. We are not really that hard to read. This was awesome.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think women should consider considering a man’s awkwardness, at first, as a sign of respect and humility. And that an initial reticence on his part might belie a wonderful wealth of iceberg below the tip. A boastful, or perhaps simply confident man may not be what he professes to be.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Men are stupid. We know that. Women know that. Everyone knows that. So let’s all just get along.
LikeLiked by 4 people
I mean, humans are hard to approach in the first place. In the crazy world we live in, you never really know what’s in that other person’s mind. They might look in the right place but something deep down inside might be wrong..
Am I blaming men for not being able to speak to women?
I’m a woman and I find it intimidating striking conversions with female strangers myself… lol. Women always seem to have a lot going on in their mind while men appear to be more laid back and easier to talk to in my opinion.
But great post! Funny! lol XD
LikeLike