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The Cost of The 12 Days of Christmas

On the First Day of Christmas my True Love gave to me....

 

A Partridge in a Pear Tree:

True Love Spends:
Pear Tree: Around $20 Partridge: $15-20
Your cost:
To upkeep the pear tree: $390 a year Bird maintenance: $200 to $400 a year

Two Turtle Doves:
True Love Spends:

$60 dollars a piece for $120 for the pair

Your cost:

Bird maintenance: $200 to $400 a year times 2

 

Three French Hens:
True Love Spends:

$50 dollars a piece for $150 for the three

Your cost:

Bird maintenance: $200 to $400 a year times 3

 

Four Calling Birds:
True Love Spends:

Around $125 dollars a piece for $500 for all four

Your cost:

Bird maintenance: $200 to $400 a year times 4

 

Five Golden Rings:
True Love Spends:

Prices could really vary, so we are going with $200 a piece for a $1000 total

Your cost:

Ring maintenance: with a package from a jewelry store, maybe a one time cost of $200

 

Six Geese a-Laying:
True Love Spends:

$30 dollars a piece for $180 for all six

Your cost:

Bird maintenance: $200 to $400 a year times 6, knock off maybe a $100 if you can sell the eggs

 

Seven Swans-a-Swimming:
True Love Spends:

$900 dollars a piece for $6300 for all seven

Your cost:

Bird maintenance: $200 to $400 a year times 7, knock off maybe a $500 if you can sell the eggs

 

Eight Maids-a-Milking:
True Love Spends:

$58 dollars per maid for the day, $150 to rent a cow for the week times 8  equals $4,448

Your cost:

To feed and house the cows and maids we are guessing around $2000 for the week

 

Nine Ladies Dancing:
True Love Spends:

About a $1000 a piece for $9000 total

Your cost:

You could get anyway with nothing to spend if they were only their for the day. Maybe some bottled water would be nice. $9

 

Ten Lords-a-Leaping:
True Love Spends:

About a $1000 a piece for $10,000 total

Your cost:

Same as the ladies, you could get anyway with nothing to spend if they were only their for the day. Maybe some bottled water. $10

 

Eleven Pipers Piping:
True Love Spends:

It seems Pipers are cheap. About 208 a piece. For eleven that’s: 2288

Your cost:

Tell them to get their own bottled water. Just joking. $11

 

Twelve Drummers Drumming:
True Love Spends:

Drummers cost slightly more than Pipers. $220 a piece for $2640

Your cost:

Go to Sam’s Club and buy a couple cases of water. $12


 

It will cost your True Love roughly $119,148 to send these gifts.

It will cost you roughly $10, 232 for the year in upkeep.

Geesh.

12-days-of-christmas

 


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About Christopher De Voss (132 Articles)
One Of The Hosts Of Podcast 42. Online Producer for The Over The Line Show. Voice over actor, writer on various websites, published author, should not eat cheese but still does. Follow me on twitter: @chrisdevoss

14 Comments on The Cost of The 12 Days of Christmas

  1. There are far too many birds for my taste, but you never know, because the “Nine Ladies Dancing” might just make it all worth it, if you get what I mean. Assuming they come with their own poles and sans bouncers to enforce the ‘no touch’ rule. Or so I’m told.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Now you’ve really commercialized Christmas.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m with Rants on this one… there has to be some Economy of Scale to be realized buying so much Damned Bird Food.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Just like our children cost us thousand’s of dollars each year, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Merry Christmas to you folks at the Long Awkward Pause.

    Liked by 1 person

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