My Interview With A Long Awkward Pause Hater
Wrong as it maybe….
OK…OK…trying to be objective and not get upset…
So I decided to give Marvin a forum to vent his frustrations about the site and about me in particular. I thought this might improve what he doesn’t like about the site, and also about me. That way, we here at Long Awkward Pause, could improve his enjoyment experience whenever he decides to spend a few minutes with us.
I for one, think it will help me grow as a humorist and I’m super excited to hear his thoughts.
Me: Welcome Marvin. I’m glad you could join us.
Marvin: You suck.
Me: What is it exactly, that you don’t like about Long Awkward Pause?
Marvin: It sucks.
Me: Is it the way we look at things? Our take on the world? You don’t like our humor?
Marvin: Your humor sucks.
Me: My humor, or the magazine’s humor as a whole?
Marvin: You suck and the magazine sucks.
Me: What don’t you like about my articles?
Marvin: I don’t like the level of suckitude you produce.
Me: Can you clarify what it is about my suckitude?
Marvin: Sure! It’s like when I read what you write, and it’s sucky, and I’m trying to laugh, but all I can do is vomit in my mouth…it’s like that.
Me: Well, what can I do, to improve, in your opinion?
Marvin: You can try not to suck.
Thanks Marvin for giving us your rather insightful and articulated thoughts about our magazine and especially about my contribution to it.
Now piss off.
MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:
Facebook: Long Awkward Pause
Twitter: @LongAwkPause
Tumblr: Long Awkward Pause Mag
Podcast: iTunes, PodOmatic, TuneIN, Stitcher
Email: longawkpause@gmail.com
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Marvin should either A) stop reading us, or B) let me school him on better descriptives than ‘suckitude.’ Or, we can get Howard to hire him too.
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Howard was eyeing my desk for him…until I licked it.
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Howard’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
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I have to, at least, admire Marvin’s dedication: he hates this site, but still forces himself to read it.
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Right. Weird.
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I suspect Marvin’s On-Off switch is stuck on Off … which sucks.
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Thank you! Or at least broken.
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Marvin should probably leave his basement where he just sits alone reading.
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Marvin says his basement is the coolest. He has a ping pong table and everything.
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The problem with Marvin is his name. His progenitors wanted to call him Marvellous but they were too drunk to spell it right.
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That makes total sense…
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Marvin, Marvin, Marvin. Gee, I’m not quite sure how he feels. I wonder how he describes the others.
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Everyone else he liked….to a degree…
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The last part totally got me. Read it and was laughing so hard. I really like your blog and am following you could you pleas follow me back. My humor may not be the same but I would love your opinion on it thanks!!!
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We will check it out. Thanks for stopping by!
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Thank you so much I really like you blog.
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dang, it’s like you were waiting for me to post my comment. Nice. I loving waiting for the sun to rise while I sit on my computer all day long. Might have something in common. Keep writing
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