The world was knocked a little off its axis this week by the news that Zayn Malik has left the British boy band, One Direction.
I’m sure we all know where we were and what we said when we heard the news. I remember it like it was yesterday, which it was. I was on my couch, read about it on Google News and said “who?”
But anything involving One Direction affects everyone. Even someone like me, who didn’t know that Zayn was a name, knows that the world is not the same today as it was before he left the band. It is at times like these that the world needs answers.
I am here to give the world the One Direction answers it so desperately needs. For the next several days or weeks – for as long as it takes to get the planet through the crisis caused by Zayn’s departure – I will answer all your questions about him and the band that he is no longer part of.
Think of this as a press conference where the person answering the questions doesn’t know anything about what he’s talking about. So really, this will be like every other press conference you’ve ever seen.
Feel free to ask me any question involving One Direction and I will give you the answer that you deserve. Want to know which of them would survive longest in a vacuum? I’ll tell you. Need to know how many points you’d score playing Zayn Malik in Scrabble? That’s why I’m here. Which of the band members would Hannibal Lechter enjoy most with a cabernet and some fava beans? I’ve got your answer.
All you have to do is ask your question in the comment section. I’ll get back to you as quickly as I can. Don’t forget to come back by for your answer and, of course, follow-up questions are welcome.
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