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You Don’t Know How I Feel – All About Windchill

How do they calculate wind chill? I’ll tell you, but I’m also going to tell you that it is bullshit.

Wind chill, blows. (image public domain)

‘Tis the season. Not that season, it is the season of cold weather and colder weather.

Back in the day, there was only cold. There was a thermometer outside. The lower the temperature on that gauge, the more clothes you put on. If the trees were moving it was a cue to put another layer on to account for how the wind made you feel.

Not Anymore

That was then. This is now.

Now the local television news runs for at least two hours and the weather man has a lot of time to fill. And then there’s the internet and a round-the-clock television channel devoted to weather. Now even winter storms have names and their own specially designed ominous theme songs.

And we get a lot more information. Some of it might be helpful, but some is questionable…like wind chill or “feels like” temperatures.

How do they know how cold I feel in any situation? I asked some friends and got different answers. A middle school teacher told me it was 6th grade science and there was a table to help a person decide how cold they’d feel. Some one else said it was an algebraic equation:

Wind Chill = 35.74 + 0.6215T – 35.75(V^0.16) + 0.4275T(V^0.16)

Well, that makes things completely clear, doesn’t it?

No.

Are You Really Going To Believe A Guy With An Alias?

If you still believe, here’s the chart (public domain)

Here’s the thing. Does anyone, even a mathematician, know how another person feels? I would submit, my friends, that while that mathematician can solve for pi, he’s probably less qualified to understand feelings than average folk.

A lot of us have had someone close to us pass away. We can probably agree that it felt lousy. But if I came to you on that awful day and said “I know how you feel”, wouldn’t you at least be tempted to tell me that I had no idea how you really felt? I think you would. And if I said, “no, I really do, here’s the formula I used to calculate how bad you feel about your loss”, I think you’d be justified in tossing me out of the funeral home.

And yet we let the wacky local weather man, Storm Hunter, tell us how we feel based on an algebraic formula. We don’t even question it. We don’t know if he passed algebra. We don’t know that he remembered to raise the value of V to the 0.16 power. We just let a guy whose mom didn’t really name him Storm tell us how we’re going to feel simply because he’s on television.

I am not going to stand for it anymore. I won’t tell you how to feel, but I hope you won’t put up with it either. It’s time that we call out the weatherman’s “feels like” temperature for the foolishness that it is.

Bundle up, kids, the trees are moving.

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About omawarisan (25 Articles)
Most who read my blog don't know me from the man in the moon. But they seem nice and I am, in fact, The Man In The Moon.

23 Comments on You Don’t Know How I Feel – All About Windchill

  1. As soon as I read “algebraic formula” my eyes glazed over, and I started twitching. It’s a balmy 19° in my neck of the woods, but it “feels like” I’m not going outside today.

    Like

  2. I’m with you. Even my smart(ass)phone is in on this. I was informed by it this morning that it was 11 degrees, but ‘felt’ like 1. What these douche canoes don’t get is, that below 20, it all feels the same. Unless you’re Canadian, in which case it feels like summer.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Yeah, I suppose once the cold feels like a millions ice picks in your eyeballs, does it matter what the actual temp is? I think forecasters should just get up there during their segment and say, “Hey folks! Guess what? It’s f—ing cold!”

    Like

  4. Oma, this post was totally polar, dude.

    Like

  5. My daughter hates the so called “wind chill” temperature, “it’s a made up number mom”; I just know it is frickin cold outside, and I’m hiding until spring.

    Like

  6. This is timely, considering the fact that it’s presently 32 in North Florida and the sun has been overhead for 2 hours. It was 30 around 3am and hovered there until 6am. People from waaaaay up north (as opposed to Georgia, which is “up north”) come here in the winter wearing shorts and tshirts in 60 degree weather while I’m shivering in my down jacket, thermal, jeans and wool socks.

    At this moment, the inside of one room is 60 and I’m bundled up like a polar bear.

    Those numbers for “wind chill” might be all scientifiky and stuff, but it seems more realistic to tell us the temperature, wind speed and humidity, and let us mere mortals decide for ourselves what we have to do to say alive. 🙂

    Like

    • Well, I am ripped from today’s headlines. Not this post, me personally.

      But seriously, you’re right. We can figure it out for ourselves and it actually means something to us when we do.

      Like

  7. Reblogged this on Blurt and commented:

    Today’s masterpiece is ripped from today’s headlines.
    Wind chill. “Feels like” temperatures. Are you going to let that yutz that does the weather on the local news tell you how you feel? No!
    Rise up against the weatherman telling you how you feel. Click on through to Long Awkward Pause for more weather related rage.

    Like

  8. Exactly! Plus they don’t take into account how many beers have been consumed before stepping from the bar into said wind.

    Like

  9. You know, this has the ring of a button whose time has come…
    But for what it’s worth… I’m with you.
    I’m so desperately tired of people being so constantly wrong, and yet they get to keep their job.
    Oops… looks like your button has a side gateway to a button of mine…
    Sorry!

    Like

  10. Nailed it, my friend! You’ve made some valid points here. The thing is, everybody “feels” things differently — and under different conditions. If you’ve just broken up with someone special, even a balmy 75 degrees might “feel” cold!

    Like

  11. Deep, Oma.

    Like

  12. Well , if that’s the way you feel……………………….

    Like

  13. All I know is that it is damn cold! It feels cold. I’m cold. I don’t need a weather man to tell me that.

    Like

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