Latest And Greatest

The Saturday Six: Coffee Mugs that Should be on your Christmas List

 saturday 6

 The best tasting, as well as most expensive coffee in the world is actually filtered through the digestive track of a monkey. That's right... It's made with monkey poop. We apologize if you just spit your coffee out all over yourself as you read that. We're laughing, but we apologize. The coffee is called, Kopi Luwak. cibetkova-kava-kopi-luwak Be on the lookout if your local Starbucks decides to sell it. "Ummm... yes...I'll have the Monkey Poo mocha latte, skinny, grande, double lid please." "Would you like to add a side of fur with that?" "No thank you. This drink is gross enough as it is, and try to spell my name right this time. It's Thom with an 'H'." "Gotcha. Tom with an H. Weird. H-O-M. Tom. Is the 'T' silent? Are you foreign or something?" "Yes. Yes. That's it. I'm foreign or something." Anyway... Happy Saturday!


1. This Needs To Be See Through

coffee1

BrainRants: The title of this one says it all.

Omawarisan: But if they can’t see through it, they’ll just stay quiet all the time.

Ned: Weird. That’s exactly what my wine vodka coffee mug says at work…

2. How About Frosted Flakes? Do You Like Them?

coffee2

BrainRants: How the hell did you guys get a picture of my coffee mug?

Omawarisan: I don’t like mourning, people. I don’t like mourning people.

Ned: I’m actually one of those cheerful morning people. So yeah, I don’t like your stupid mug.

3. At Least You Didn’t Sing It

coffee3

BrainRants: Yes, it does.  Thank God.

Omawarisan: Does this mug belong to the coffee pooping monkey? If there is a specific monkey that poops this coffee I’m going to buy it. Once I do that, I will buy another monkey so I can become the exclusive distributor of coffee simians.

Ned: Now that you brought it up, sometimes when I poop it sounds like an espresso machine.

4. Well, That’s Good, Because It’s Not The Smallest Ever!

coffee4

 BrainRants: Actually, I’m not.

Omawarisan: Well I haven’t had any coffee yet and I think you’re kind of a shitbird for shooting your mouth off like that.

Ned: A recent study showed a 25 perecent decrease in prison violence when these cups were given to inmates.

5. Some Of Us Prefer That Actually

coffee5

BrainRants: I’ll grudgingly wear pants, but I draw the line at a bra.

Omawarisan: Some of the best things in life are (pants) free.

Ned: In stark contrast to the first study, sexual assault actually increased by 25% when inmates were given this coffee mug.

6. And I Love You After Coffee Too

coffee6

BrainRants: Beats the shit out of, “I love you long time, GI!”

Omawarisan: No, Coffee loves me way more than you do.

Ned: It night be time to try a different brand. Or spouse.

————————–

MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:

Facebook: Long Awkward Pause

Twitter: @LongAwkPause

Tumblr: Long Awkward Pause Mag

Podcast: iTunes or PodOmatic

Would you like to see a topic discussed on LAP?  Click HERE.

Advertisements
About Christopher De Voss (132 Articles)
One Of The Hosts Of Podcast 42. Online Producer for The Over The Line Show. Voice over actor, writer on various websites, published author, should not eat cheese but still does. Follow me on twitter: @chrisdevoss

36 Comments on The Saturday Six: Coffee Mugs that Should be on your Christmas List

  1. I thought of a great comment that was funny as hell, but I’d just had coffee and had to poop.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LMAO. I don’t drink much coffee.. but what about tea? ;D

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Starbcks and spellings!! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I meant *Starbucks.

    Like

  5. The older I get, the more I like mug number 2.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That does not look like a monkey on the package…. Perhaps it is an off brand monkey poo coffee.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wake up and smell the monkey poo just doesn’t have the same ring to it…

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Ha! I just read that about the most expensive coffee coming from poo…no thanks. My favorite mug was one that said I got smashed in Washington DC. The cup was crumpled up. Funny sayings on your mugs…Happy Saturday.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Happy Saturday. This is brill! Shitbird, that just made me laugh. These mugs don’t lie. I heard about the monkey pooping coffee. That will be the next big craze. I can see it!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I actually made the first, fourth, and sixth ones for myself at our local pain-your-own pottery place. I use the first one at school; however, it doesn’t keep my students from talking . . .

    Like

  11. I wish I had some of those cups, then I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone in the morning.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I may have to start drinking coffee…

    Liked by 1 person

  13. That explains why the coffee in my office tastes like crap.

    Like

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: