Latest And Greatest

A Bar Joke That Nearly Was

A priest, a lawyer and a blogger walk in to a bar. So, yeah.

I have had a goal for a long time. It hasn’t been my only goal. I’m working toward other important goals, like owning a blimp and having my own mariachi band. What I’m talking about is my most important goal.

A guy walks in to a bar. Five bartenders ask if they can help him. I don’t have a punch line. (image public domain)

I want to be part of a bar joke.

You know the jokes I’m talking about, right? Someone, or a group, walks in to a bar and the joke lies in their interaction with the bartender. For example: A guy walks in to a bar. He’s carrying jumper cables. The bartender says “you can stay as long as you don’t start anything”.

On Friday night, I was close. So stinkin’ close.

The Joke Sets Itself Up

My wife and I went to our favorite Italian restaurant. We know the owner and his wife. There were seats at the bar, so we sat there to chat with the owners’ son, the bartender.

A man followed us in and sat by himself, next to us. There wasn’t anything that stood out about him. Until the bartender greeted him, I didn’t know that he would be the man who’d bring me so close to my goal.

“Hello Father McCabe, what can I get you?” The priest ordered a glass of red wine. I looked down the bar at the three of us who’d just walked in and then the gravity of the moment hit me. We were perfectly set up for a bar joke:

A blogger, a lawyer and a priest walk in to a bar…”

The elements were in place. I looked at the bartender. He smiled, but it wasn’t the smile that said “I see what’s happening here and I’m ready with the punch line.” It felt as if he did not understand the joke that was right in front of him. My wife ordered a glass of wine and I chose a beer. We sat and talked with the priest.

A blogger, a lawyer and a priest walk in to a bar and order a round of drinks.

The bartender joined our conversation now and again. Each time he approached, I anticipated something big, which the bartender never actually delivered. Well, he did deliver dinner, which was nice. Dinner wasn’t what I was after anymore. I was after the punch line for the joke that I was clearly part of.

A blogger, a lawyer and a priest walk in to a bar and order a round of drinks and dinner.

You, know dude, maybe if you stopped stacking glasses you could finish the joke that’s right in front of you. (image public domain)

Dinner and the conversation continued. We all interacted with the bartender, who did his job reliably.

…And You Call Yourself A Bartender

You know what? No, he didn’t. Part of a bartender’s job is knowing when a bar joke is set up and having the proper punch line. As much as I enjoy this bartender and his family’s restaurant, he wasn’t doing everything he is supposed to.

A blogger, a lawyer, and a priest walk in to a bar and order a round of drinks and dinner. They talk about life, philosophy and Italian food. The bartender has limited input; everyone goes home.

The food and service were great. I can’t fault the company. But I’m disappointed because I was so close to a dream come true. I keep thinking of what could have been.

A blogger, a lawyer and a priest walk in to a bar and order a round of drinks and dinner. They talk about life, philosophy and Italian food. The blogger got a topic, the priest got a good dinner and the lawyer billed them each two hours.

Yeah, I know it’s not a good joke. My wife isn’t even that kind of lawyer. I just couldn’t let the obvious set up slide by. It’s the best I can come up with.

Maybe I’ll go out and buy a blimp today.


Facebook: Long Awkward Pause

Twitter: @LongAwkPause

Tumblr: Long Awkward Pause Mag

Podcast: iTunes or PodOmatic

Would you like to see a topic discussed on LAP?  Click HERE.

About omawarisan (25 Articles)
Most who read my blog don't know me from the man in the moon. But they seem nice and I am, in fact, The Man In The Moon.

23 Comments on A Bar Joke That Nearly Was

  1. Reblogged this on Blurt and commented:

    Today’s work is over at Long Awkward Pause. Go on over for the sad tale of the joke that nearly was.


  2. The priest had a Rite; the Lawyer had a Writ; and the blogger had something to Write…

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I have a feeling you are going to get all kinds of answers to your riddle from your clever readers. As for me, like the bartender, I’ve got nothing. I’ll be back to read everyones jokes. Maybe they could work on the five bartenders one as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. How damn awesome will a mariachi band on a blimp be?


  5. Awesome caption. But look careful. What is missing in that photo?! Stools. I bet that’s merely a wall and they do the walking up and down stairs bit all night.

    /got nothing


  6. Excellent. Success. Where are those bar stools? That is a mysterious picture. I think the mariachi band played for the blogger, lawyer, and priest, a good time was had by all, because mariachi band, and they all left on a blimp. Ta Da!


  7. Wow, you’ve raised the bar on getting sewed, screwed, saved and satiated–all in one sitting.


  8. Thank goodness we got a story, I don’t know how I would have handled the situation otherwise. 😀


  9. What a huge letdown! Maybe the bartender hasn’t attended the joke seminar yet. I too, have no punchline for you. I’m no good at joke making. Except the awesome one I made about the Giant and the car. Although I don’t think it counts because everyone that hears it is less than impressed…I’ll check back here to see what other punchlines your readers have come up with.


  10. Sergio Gigante // November 11, 2014 at 8:18 am //

    The priest sits down and tells the bartender “there is something wrong with my stool!” The bartender sez: ” Have you been to a doctor?”


  11. Why do I never encounter priests at the bar?


  12. Sorry–if it had been a blogger, a lawyer and a rabbi walking into the bar, I would have had an excellent punch line. As it is–I got nothing. Maybe next time.


Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: