Who doesn’t want to be beautiful?
Except Hairless Cats.
Instagram is becoming the place for makeup tips and Cleopatra-like beauty transformations. More than 45 million Instagram posts are currently tagged with the word #makeup and/or #makeuptransformation.
And what is more empowering than women helping women spend more money at Ulta?
And sure, we admit #6 looks good, but you’re going to be waking up to/as #1.
It’s okay to be #1 more often.
Side Note: We at Long Awkward Pause are currently investing in the makeup bag game….makeup bags, makeup purses, makeup luggage, makeup trunks, makeup semi-trucks, etc.
Luckily for the guys, they usually only have to pluck some nose/eyebrow hair and make sure that bald spot isn’t too noticeable as pre-ritual for leaving the house. What if guys had to go through all this work before they went out?
They would never go out!
As with all things good and holy, it wouldn’t be the internet without some sort of hijacking, warping, distortion, and miss-direction, which is why we are featuring this week: The best of the most hideous of make-over transformations.
1. Between A Rock And A Kitty
Omawarisan: Seeing Rob in his new Mr. Cuddlesworth hat struck fear into, well, no one.
Chris – Can you sssmmmmelllll…what’s on Rock’s head?
Ned: Some men will go to any length to cover their bald spots.
BrainRants: Nope. Not gonna piss off The Rock. Nope.
2. The Hat Is What Makes It
Chris – I know we are suppose to comment on the transformation, but does this guy have two shower curtains in the background?
Ned: If Thelma and Louise were contemplating a lesbian relationship, this guy would’ve made up their minds.
BrainRants: My first thought is, ‘Why would anyone want to look like a gay Brad Pitt?’
3. Now To Find Some Women
Omawarisan: Few had ever hoisted the Colander of Champions. Fewer still had drunk from it.
Ned: The only thing this guy probably has in common with Tiger Woods is consistently finishing in four strokes or less.
BrainRants: To pile on Ned’s thought – …or doing questionable things with waaay too many questionable women.
4. I Prefer Little Debbie’s
Omawarisan: After she simulated the icing curly-q, she suffered horrible paper cuts from the giant paper muffin cup.
Ned: There’s no way I’d ever let her anywhere near my Ding Dong.
BrainRants: Jabba, after the money shot.
5. Nailed The Vintage Look
Omawarisan – This is the only kind of guy my sister, Darla, would go out with.
Chris – Is that Joseph Gordon-Levitt?
Ned: Somewhere, there is a woman named Darla swooning over his profile photo on Match.com
BrainRants: A neuron in my brain just burnt out with ‘Spanky’ joke overload.
6. Where Does One Get Such A Yellow Shirt?
Omawarisan – Whenever I see someone in a yellow shirt I think “he’s the leading the Tour de France.” Does it show that I haven’t seen that cartoon?
Chris – He is so happy in the last picture because he ate the last box of thin mints…by himself.
Ned: Not to be mistaken with Oscar-nominated actor Chow Yun-fat, the lesser-known Chow Young Fat was a hat model for “Russell” in Pixar’s Oscar-winning animated film “Up.”
BrainRants: He ate the Ding Dong above…
MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:
Facebook: Long Awkward Pause
Tumblr: Long Awkward Pause Mag
Would you like to see a topic discussed on LAP? Click HERE.