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The Saturday Six: Bizarre Pregnancy Photos

 saturday 6

 From that first time peeing on the pregnancy test stick to the final pushing of life from the nether regions of your spouse/girlfriend/baby momma, pregnancy is a joyous and hard celebration of our continuing existence of the human race.

Much like other milestones in life, pregnancy has it’s traditional rituals. There is the  buying the ‘What To Expect When Expecting’ Book, picking out names, shopping for the crib, crying, stroller testing, painting of the room, and of course, taking pictures of the oh-so-sexy-and-cute preggers belly.

Maybe not so sexy and cute for the woman who has to lug the newly formed bowling ball now growing inside her stomach, but at some point in time, some one, some where, had decided it was a good idea to take “before” pictures.

Probably a greedy photographer during a slow time between wedding and school picture season.

You never really show the pictures to your kids though:

“Look son, this is you inside your Mother’s belly. You were so much more quiet then. At first we thought your Mother ate too much cheese, but nope…we would later find out it was you! That’s why we named you Provolone.”

With the competition on the internet so gosh darn…competitive, couples are looking for ways to take some of the mundane out of these traditional practices and come up with something a little more creative.

Once again, sometimes this is not a good idea…

Happy Saturday!


1. The Circle Of Life?

 preg10

 Ned: She’s not pregnant; that’s just where the other turkey is.

Jack: This Thanksgiving, everyone will be stuffed!

Omawarisan: If he’d have just choked his turkey a few months ago…

Chris: This guy doesn’t understand the term: ‘Bun in the oven.’

2. It’s Like From A Bad Spy Movie In The 70’s

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Ned: There are so many things wrong with this. Maternity negligee. A 30-year-old woman wearing grade schooler underwear… and how, at first glance, I though the thing behind her was an aerial view of her bottom, with a pimple on the left cheek.

Jack: Monica Lewinsky called, she wants her haircut back.

Omawarisan: Austin Powers III: Fembots In Trouble

Chris: Triplets?

3. Don’t You Ever Make Fun Of Her Stretch Marks!

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 Ned: The birth announcement read: “See? I don’t shoot no blanks.”

Jack: Nice Dockers you got there, Rambo.

Omawarisan: The Hostage Of Love

Chris: Jack Bauer, The Much Later Years

4. She Is Riding That Horse For Two

 preg11

 Ned: A rare photo of Bilbo Baggins’ mother taken in The Shire before his birth.

Jack: So that’s where centaurs come from!

Omawarisan: Apparently the horse isn’t the only one who went barebacked.

5. Now You Know Where Masked Wrestlers Come From

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Ned: The Nelson family (from left): Half Nelson, Full Nelson and Near-Fall Nelson.

Jack: ¿Hueles la roca ha estado cocinando? Es un bebé.

Omawarisan: “Your mother came off the top rope, if you know what I’m sayin’ ”

Chris: I bet it’s real friggin’ hard to eat Fruit Loops through a mask!

6. We…Don’t…Even…Know…

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 Ned: And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should never consume alcohol while pregnant.

Jack: I hope they named the baby Rudy.

Omawarisan: I spend all that time dismissing the “war on Christmas” crowd, and then this happens.

—–

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About Christopher De Voss (132 Articles)
Producer for: https://overthelineshow.wordpress.com. Voice over actor, podcaster, writer on various web sites, published author, should not eat cheese but still does. Follow me on twitter: @chrisdevoss

50 Comments on The Saturday Six: Bizarre Pregnancy Photos

  1. O_O
    WTF are my eyes seeing on this early Saturday morning?!
    Wow. I’ve never felt so normal in my life…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lolz you guys are hilarious!!! Love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Disturbing. Every single one of them.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I remember pregnancy and one of the strongest memories are the 4 words I uttered more often than any after the 5th month: “This is NOT sexy!” After my first child was born I LITERALLY had stretch marks from my neck to my thighs (see the young woman with the old man pointing the gun at the camera for a visual). News Flash: The damned things don’t go away.

    What I find hilarious about this is the fact that after the birth, all the women above will be nursing their wounds, or nursing a grudge. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on granny reports blog and commented:
    Oh my goodness! Too much laughter!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh my god the captions were brilliant. Hard to pick a winner. Ned and Oma get high marks in my book this week. This brought me back to lunch room in junior high. Or, last Tuesday. Had a similar convo last Tuesday too..

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Definitely not a good idea. Good blog fodder, though. Happy Saturday…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The one with the gun, what is that? What are ALL of these??!! These are bizarro! Too funny.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Gary Busey’s lawyer has requested that picture #3 be removed. He is also interested in how you hacked into Mr. Busey’s Motorolla flip phone.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Suddenly, I’m feeling incredibly classy. Good start to the weekend 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. If the Stork was ever looking for an excuse to go on strike, I think you just gave it to him.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. That one woman’s belly stretch marks looked like lightening bolts.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. My EYES!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Ahahaha! Oh this is fantastic!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I don’t understand the number 2. Is it a huge booty in the background? A giant, weirdly shaped dickhead? Modern art? A close-up of the woman’s belly? IT’S SO WEIRD!

    As for number 5, it makes me think of some weird sci-fi movie about robotic aliens taking over the world. That family’s kid sure’s gonna have a hell of an adventurous childhood!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t understand any of it. I put a watermelon under my shirt and walked around all day with it, and I had no desire to take a picture of myself…I did crave watermelon at three in the morning.

      Like

  16. I have gauged my eyes out. Nasty nasty nasty. Never once in my pregnancy did I feel anyone would want to see an engorged belly. I never even wore torso-tight tops. Everything was flowy like Stevie Nicks. They can plainly see you’re pregant; no need to mount horses or show your skin. Modest serves a fecund woman. Not even your husband wants to see those tractor marks.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. oh. Ohhhh. I….Um…oh

    Liked by 1 person

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