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The Saturday Six: Strange but Real Driving Laws

 saturday 6

If you haven’t seen the show, House of Cards, it’s about the corruption and intrigue behind the nation’s capital.

Did we mention it stars a friend of ours?

*Name drop in 5…4…3….*

Kevin Spacey!

In the show…between killing drunk Congressmen, back stabbing the President, fighting the Chinese, and some good old fashion lesbian sex…you get to see how hard it is to try to pass a new bill through Congress.

Granted this Machiavellian drama is more fiction than fact, but it’s still a glimpse behind the process we would never see…unless you’re addicted to C-Span.

Or C-Span Two.

Or watching moss grow on rocks.

If all of the above are equally entertaining to you, you may need to get out more…or get a puppy.

It seems very apparent from the list below that it’s not quite that hard to pass laws on the state level. It also seems very apparent that the laws passed on the state level are written by people on the weed…for people on the weed.

Happy Saturday!


1. You Looking At Me??!!

laws1

Omawarisan: …or the governor.

Chris: Or the couch you will be sleeping on after frowning at your wife for getting a speeding ticket.

Ned: Please send bail money, Chris and Adam. I should’ve read this before I left for Hoboken.

2. Free Willy, Yee Haw!

laws2

Omawarisan: This isn’t weird. Some clown released a pair of whales from his aquarium into a pond in Tennessee a few decades ago. Now the whole state is lousy with whales; they’re considered an invasive species.

Chris: In California your also not allowed to shoot Moonshiners from your BMW.

Ned: But in Tennessee, it’s OK to shoot Californians from anywhere.

3. Why Underwear Isn’t Made From Shamwow

laws3

Omawarisan: Everyone in San Francisco wears leather underwear, so it wouldn’t really work anyhow.

Chris: My neighbor’s underwear could wash a Mack truck in one swipe.

Ned: If you’re in San Francisco bending over to dry your car, underwear is the least of your worries.

4. Snow way!

laws4

Omawarisan: But an ocelot is ok.

Chris: What about a convertible?

Ned: This could be a problem if your car is actually a dog sled.

5. Head Out On The Highway, Looking For A Gas Station…

laws5

Chris: Oh those Germans! Their sense of humor knows no bounds!

Ned: Not a problem, since with the price of gas overseas I couldn’t afford to leave my driveway.

6. Why You Should Keep Spare Change In The Trunk

laws6

Omawarisan: This is ridiculous and unenforceable. Elephants don’t have windshield wipers to put a ticket under.

Ned: If you’ve ever tried to parallel park an elephant downtown, you know it’s better to take a bus.

—–

MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:

Facebook: Long Awkward Pause

Twitter: @LongAwkPause

Tumblr: Long Awkward Pause Mag

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About Christopher De Voss (132 Articles)
Producer for: https://overthelineshow.wordpress.com. Voice over actor, podcaster, writer on various web sites, published author, should not eat cheese but still does. Follow me on twitter: @chrisdevoss

20 Comments on The Saturday Six: Strange but Real Driving Laws

  1. I’m trying to think of a situation where you could shoot a whale from your car and I’m coming up empty-handed.

    Like

  2. I believe San Francisco also has a law that makes it illegal to use water to wash you car.

    Like

  3. Here’s a law from Tennessee that I like: Cats are considered free range animals. And BTW, Florida was the home of traveling circus performers for decades. I can see one of the elephant trainers using an elephant to go to the store and back. 🙂

    Like

  4. Of course you can’t tie your dog to the roof of your car. That’s silly.
    But you can tie down Sarah Palin.
    Wait while I get the rope.

    Like

  5. Reblogged this on Bookin' It and commented:
    Hilarious! And yes, the “Ned” in the comments under these is the infamous humor columnist, Ned Hickson, in case you were wondering.

    Like

  6. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that it’s illegal to run out of gas on the Autobahn, which is not *necessarily* the same thing as the highway. Nevertheless, great piece! It reminds me of my first blog entry “You Can’t Name a Pig Napoleon.”

    Like

  7. It’s about time we started making elephants pay their due, they’re always breezing right past the toll booths with nary a pause.

    Like

  8. What constitutes a frown? Is my frown the same as your frown? What about a kitty strapped to your car? I would never! Oh, please don’t shoot me because I’m from California. Peace.

    Like

  9. Ha! None of these compares to the Michigan left, where you have to go right to go left. Happy Monday!, since Saturday was two days ago.

    Like

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