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The Saturday Six: Funny Sexy Mugshot Guy Memes

 saturday 6

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What does it take to get your 15 minutes of fame on the internet?

Apparently some baby blue eyes and five counts of weapon possession and one count of gang related activities.

Jeremy Meek’s mugshot went viral after the Stockton Police Department released his mugshot on Facebook. Who knew the police department was so into keeping up with status updates?

Do they update the police blotter on Twitter?

Do they take pictures of the doughnuts they are eating for Instagram?

Was that last joke too obvious?

Maybe so, but Jeremy Meeks has gained instant celebrity as the “McDreamy Convict.” It is even rumored that he is to be offered a modeling contract and a reality show.

Not since Orange Is The New Black has an arrest record been so profitable.

While the ladies are getting their panties in a twist over this multi-convicted felon, we are lucky to have the power of the internet and some guys with a bunch of  free time and a meme generator to put it all back into perspective.

Happy Saturday!


1. Blue Steal

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Katie: This is the first time I’ve thought sexy mugshot guy was actually sexy, and that’s only because he’s next to Ben Stiller.

BrainRants: I’m too hetero to comment on the sexiness of either guy, real or imagined, but if I had to, I’d pick Stiller because he’d get his junk zipped up and I’d be off the hook.

Ned: Before he knew he was sharing a cell; after meeting his cellmate, “Three-legged Jack.”

Monk: No idea what this is about.

Jack: I do not actually have three legs. They gave me that nickname because of my enormous penis.

Omawarisan: Like Derek Zoolander, I can only turn to my right. I’m not sure how that applies here. Let me get back to you.

singlegirlie: You can call me Blue Steal, baby. Hell, you can call me anything you like.

2. Lock Up My Heart

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Katie: If only he had stolen someone’s tattoo removal system to erase that teardrop.

BrainRants: I’m too hetero to comment on the sexiness of either guy, real or imagined.  My junk is bigger and better than this lowlife’s.  Word.  I need no gang tats to proclaim my body count… I don’t have enough face for that.

Ned: “Steal” is such a harsh word. I think “borrow” is better. You know, like they say in prison: “Hey, I’m gonna borrow Teardrop Boy tonight…”

Monk: Who is this guy?

Jack: Why do I have “Tears of a Clown” by Smokey Robinson going through my head?

Omawarisan: Does anyone think my photo would go viral if I touted my lack of disfiguring tattoos and my clean arrest record?

singlegirlie: He can steal my panties, too. The good ones, even.

3. OMG!

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Katie: They might not want him after they see this.

BrainRants: I’m too hetero to comment on the sexiness of either guy, real or imagined.  To the girl who posted the original pic: You can fuckin’ have the felon. Enjoy y0ur prison sex alone time.  Ditz.

Ned: According to a prison spokesman, Meeks is doing fine. Apparently he is working in the cafeteria, because the spokesman said he spends most of his day “tossing salads.”

Monk: Hmm… Something about Shutterstock?

Jack: Orange is the new holy crap that dude is gonna get raped.

Omawarisan: (nodding reverently at Ned) Well played, sir.

singlegirlie: HEY! Meeks is my bitch, bitches! So BACK OFF. Don’t worry, Justin Bieber will be there shortly.

4. Girl, You Know It’s True

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BrainRants: I’m too hetero to comment on the sexiness of either guy, real or imagined.  Also, there is nothing remotely attractive about our liberal-ass First Lady, either, but I like and respect her relaxed ‘do.  Still, I wouldn’t want to hear about it while I upstage “B” in bed.  Just sayin’.

Ned: I’m sure there’s a presidential pardon already in the works. I’m just not sure the president knows about it.

Monk: Boy, I’m confused. Now this lady is holding the picture.

Jack: Why is the First Lady calling him a girl? Is it because of the gang raping he received?

singlegirlie: Michelle, girl, don’t do it. You got a good thing going there with the POTUS, don’t screw it all up with ol’ blue eyes. NOT TO MENTION I WILL CUT YOU.

5. Obsession

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Katie: Calvin and I are on the same page about the teardrop tattoo removal.

BrainRants: I’m too hetero to comment on the sexiness of either guy, real or imagined.  I have a 9mm teardrop solution for this felon. Asshat.

Ned: Because somewhere between prisoners nicknamed “Love” and “Madness” lies a Jeremy Meeks sandwich.

Monk: Once I had Calvin Klein sunglasses but I lost them. They cost $80, but I think I got them on sale.

Omawarisan: Lipstick on a pig, Klein on a turd.

singlegirlie: JEREMY WHY HAVEN’T YOU CALLED ME YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO GET ONE PHONE CALL AMIRITE?

6. Innocent Until Proven Guilty

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Katie: And making some poor tattoo choices for which baby blue eyes can’t even compensate.

BrainRants: I’m too hetero to comment on the sexiness of this guy, real or imagined. Gangsta, so shoot him.

Ned: Someone should probably check on that potato peeler he stole from the cafeteria, too.

Monk: Need some help. Is this an American thing?

Jack: He stole your heart and then ate it with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

Omawarisan: Yes ma’am, and the only thing you’re guilty of is deluding yourself.

singlegirlie: I’ll wait for you, Boo! Did you put in the conjugal visit request? I’ll wear the thigh high boots and Chanel No. 5. (And oh the ail-nay ile-fay will be hidden in a secure place).

—–

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About Christopher De Voss (132 Articles)
Producer for: https://overthelineshow.wordpress.com. Voice over actor, podcaster, writer on various web sites, published author, should not eat cheese but still does. Follow me on twitter: @chrisdevoss

47 Comments on The Saturday Six: Funny Sexy Mugshot Guy Memes

  1. Those neck tattoos are not sexy.

    Like

  2. Hilarious! I looked at the picture and thought, “Geez! I don’t want to be anywhere near that guy!” Love what you’ve done to his picture.

    Like

  3. Paolo Tescione // June 28, 2014 at 11:44 am //

    a good look at my blog post https://mentalhelpblog.wordpress.com/

    Like

  4. Sorry, I was distracted by his…ears.
    Number 3 was hilarious.
    Number 5 would make me stop and stare from behind my sunglasses.
    But, he’s no Karl Urban.

    Like

  5. Gotta wonder about our society and the internets sometimes.

    Like

  6. Regardless of what side of the moral fence he is on, he chose a career path. I believe the first and most important rule in that line of work is something like; DON’T GET CAUGHT! = Rule No. 1.
    So I think it’s safe to say he sucks at his job, that in itself should be a rather good indicator of this fellow’s level of competency.

    Like

  7. I never noticed the tear drop. I did wonder what he would look like in a Calvin Klein ad. That very thought occurred to me. You read my mind! He cleaned up nice.

    Like

  8. This was a golden opportunity for women to make sexxy and sexist comments. Are you trying to ruin their fun?

    Like

  9. I think the guy used his one phone call to call his agent. And his conjugal visit schedule is fully booked, both during visiting hours and outside of them.

    Like

  10. Wow, I’m with Monk in the fact that I had no clue. Thank you, LAP for injecting humor into the weekend. I doubt Meeks will be thanking anyone for the injections he is about to receive.

    Happy Saturday!

    Like

  11. Cimmorene and I had some good chuckles about this, but this reminds me way too much about my mother making a left-field comment about a Crime Stoppers mugshot: “Ooo, what did he get arrested for? Being too handsome?” My mother was a weird mixture of mostly prudishness with occasional TMFI. Her mother used to be even worse, but now that she’s losing her mind she’s more pleasant.

    Like

  12. You know what those baby blues say to me? Run!!! Run for the hills and don’t look back. He has a cold, cold eyes ladies. He would hurt you without a second thought. Brrrr.

    Like

  13. Funny stuff … though, sadly, it does say something weird about our culture. He even raised money online for bail — Kickstarter Bail Services or something. And, maybe I’m wrong, but aren’t teardrop tats supposed to be a symbol of killing someone?
    Anyway … funny stuff!

    Like

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