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22 Books That Should Be On Everyone’s Summer Reading List

Summer has officially arrived and so marks the beginning of a season filled with travel, lying around poolside, and day drinking. Lots of day drinking.

Summer is also a time for self-reflection and relaxation. When grabbing a book and hitting the beach or sitting out in the yard are not only possible, but encouraged.

But then the inevitable question arises, “What book should I read?”

This all-consuming question has, on many occasions, brought forth so much anguish and despair to essentially destroy what could and should have been an enjoyable day filled with serenity and inner peace.

So how does one narrow down the vast list of acceptable choices and pick the right one? Relax, young grasshopper, we are here to help. Through countless hours of scientific research, we have come up with a list of 22 books sure to ease your anxiety and put all your chakras into perfect balance.

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth

What do you tell a dolphin with two black eyes? Nothing. You’ve already told it twice.

The Fried Twinkie Manifesto

Fried Twinkies are the culmination of everything that is right in the world.

My Cat Hates You

Don’t be offended; my cat hates me, too.

Bedtime Stories For Children You Hate

There are reasons my friends don’t let me babysit anymore. And I’m okay with that.

Why Is Daddy In a Dress?

But more importantly, who is he wearing?

Maybe Your Leg Will Grow Back!

Or maybe it won’t. PUPPIES!

101 Ways to Kill a Zombie

The zombie apocalypse is a very real thing. And so are unicorns.

All My Friends Are Dead

Twilight fan fiction.

I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats

Also titled I WILL Pee on This and My Food Dish is Half Empty, Want Me To Starve?

William Shakespeare’s The Empire Striketh Back

For those into suicidal Sci-fi.

The Book of Bunny Suicides

Speaking of suicide: bunnies in a toaster.

The White Trash Mom Handbook

For lessons on how to live an exemplary life. Second only to the Bible.

Dog Shaming

Because sometimes dogs should just be ashamed of themselves.

What Would Keith Richards Do?

Probably not what Jesus would do. Probably.

Dear Luke, We Need to Talk, Darth

“Sorry about your hand…”

Reasons Mommy Drinks

Reasons my mommy drinks: Me.

How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters

In the event Ian Ziering isn’t around to carve you out of a sharks underbelly, you now still have a chance at survival.

Go the F**k to Sleep

The sadists guide to insomnia.

How to Keep Sparkly Emo Vampires Off Your Lawn

 Sold at your local O.S.H. and Armstrong Garden Centers.

Ice Cream & Sadness: More Comics From Cyanide & Happiness

Nothing equals the pain and sadness equated with dropping your ice cream. Nothing.

My Boyfriend Barfed in my Handbag…and Other Things You Can’t Ask Martha

Don’t knock Martha. She’s done hard time. She can make Pruno like the best of them.

And last but not least…

Face The Music

For when your day is in dire need of a dude in war paint.

Happy reading!

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About missmelisamae (5 Articles)
Miss Melisa Mae is an avid fan of anything Chuck Norris and vodka. If she could meet Chuck Norris while drinking vodka, all the better. She has a B.A. in B.S. and likes referring to herself in the third person because it makes her feel special. Her mother may or may not have dropped her as a baby.

19 Comments on 22 Books That Should Be On Everyone’s Summer Reading List

  1. The White Trash Mom, oh I want that on my summer reading list!

    Like

  2. I have read them all.

    Like

  3. Cyanide and Happiness is hilarious. Yay day drinking!

    Like

  4. I barely made it through Pride, Prejudice and Zombies. Reading Yoda Shakespeare the hell I am…

    Like

  5. These are fantastic. I’m really hoping my leg grows back.

    Oh, but there is an important one missing: Decade of Stupid by Miss Melisa Mae! Ass. Off.

    Like

    • missmelisamae // June 26, 2014 at 1:23 pm //

      Just remember, If your legs don’t grow back: puppies.

      Also, when is YOUR book coming out??? 😉

      Like

  6. NotAPunkRocker // June 26, 2014 at 1:26 pm //

    What wouldn’t Keith Richards do? Though I think “What Would Ozzy Osbourne Do?” encompasses more potential situations.

    Like

  7. What a list! Hilarious. All My Are Dead. Poor guy. I always wanted to hear that story.

    Like

  8. That would be Friends. All My Friends Are Dead. Oh, I hope not!

    Like

    • missmelisamae // June 26, 2014 at 9:52 pm //

      Not only are these books amusing but they are educational, as well. You never know when you will get stuck in a sharknado. It could happen.

      Like

  9. maurnas // June 29, 2014 at 1:05 pm //

    I’m actually weirded out by how many of these I have read. What am I doing with my life?!

    Like

  10. I love that “Go the f**k to sleep” is not censored in Sweden. Seriously. We have it in the book shop I work in, and it’s called “Sov nu, för fan!” which literally translates to “Go the fuck to sleep”.

    I’m curious about the dolphin book!

    Like

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