Long Awkward Pause Pop Quiz Winner Announced!
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Boy, placing an exclamation point after a contest announcement really hypes it up, eh? Exclamation points add so much excitement! Without one, the context completely changes.
But enough of the grammar lessons, because it’s time to reveal the winner of the Long Awkward Pause Pop Quiz! And one more exclamation point just for fun!
Here are the results:
KSBETH: 20%
SHE’S A MAINEIAC: 20%
THE TATTOO TOURIST: 10%
KRISTEN MCCLARY: 40%
AMY REESE: 0%
EVA: 40%
JACKIE P: 20%
PINK DOUGHNUTS 15: 30%
KENDALL F. PERSON: 10%
And the winner is…
ALWAYS A REDHEAD! 50%
Congratulations, Catherine! Clearly you remembered the most important lesson in school: if you didn’t study, just guess the letter C. One of our representatives will be contacting you shortly, and please have your webcam handy when our prize patrol shows up at your door.
Here’s the answer key:
Question 1:
Which member of LAP is a former musician in a band that used saws, drills, and water glasses as instruments?
Answer:
In broadcasting school, some friends and I got bored and started using school equipment to record electronic music – incorporating free samples from the internet. In order to make it sound different from everyone else, we also recorded everyday objects like water glasses, saws, and pencils hitting the table, and mixed them into the songs.
Question 2:
Which member of LAP once auditioned to play the role of the character Eyeball in the movie Stand by Me?
Answer:
Because the story takes place in Oregon, the casting director was looking for real Northwest faces. They combed the high school drama classes in my area for possible actors. I was called to the office and asked to do a reading as “Eyeball” in front of Rob Reiner, the casting director and my principal, who had to listen to me use words like “shit” and “ball sweat.” I nailed it, but think I lost the part when I called Reiner “Meat Head.”
Question 3:
The classic sci-fi movie Planet of the Apes brings this LAP member to tears because of a severe dislike of seeing monkeys die.
Answer:
Question 4:
Which LAP member carries the second rarest blood type (B-), shared by only 2% of the world population?
Answer:
I first learned I had B- blood when I was attending the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters in North Salem, New York. People with B- blood have a predominance of green or blue-green eyes that change color like a chameleon. They also have; true red or reddish hair, a low pulse rate, low blood pressure, keen sight or hearing, healing factors, extra ribs or vertabrae, piercing eyes, deep compassion for fate of mankind, unexplained scars on body, and a capability to disrupt electrical appliances. It is a super rare blood type and I am constantly fighting off vampires who think I’m a bottle of 1787 Chateau red.
Question 5:
Which LAP member accidentally launched a model rocket off in their bedroom while attending grade school?
Answer:
I wanted to be an astronaut when I was little. My science fair project was sitting on the bedroom floor, polished up and ready for the next day’s launch. Launch day came sooner than expected…
I was petting it or something (the rocket) but not that rocket)), when suddenly the red wire accidentally touched the green wire. And then, a furry of sparks and wom wom sounds. The GI Joe space explorer then began orbiting the room. All I remember was a frantic man trying to catch it with an oven mitt or a baseball glove or something, and then throwing it outside like a live grenade. It was all a blur, and it smelled like sulfur in there for a year. I didn’t want to be an astronaut anymore after that.
Question 6:
Which LAP member is egg-intolerant, shops for T-shirts in the children’s section, and has never once experienced being drunk?
Answer:
After taking a food sensitivity test, I found out I was very sensitive to eggs. So, gone are the days of scrambled eggs for breakfast, egg scrambles for lunch and boozy egg nog on holidays.
And yup, it is true that I have never been drunk. I do drink, but just not to excess. The drunken Irish gene is strong in my family, so I figured it’s best not to tempt fate. Then again, I can’t even tempt women, so what do I know?
Thanks for the relative obesity of the US, even adult small shirts are cut too loose for me, so I sometimes do shop in the boys section for shirts. I draw the line at shopping in the boys section for underwear, though.
Question 7:
Which LAP member was once hit by a car at the age of 14, and today, owns over 150 board games?
Answer:
Question 8:
Which LAP member was nominated as candidate for Prom Queen during High School?
Answer:
It started as a joke to see if a varsity lineman could pull off beating a typical SoCal mean-girl barbie type, and then it gained traction. I made it to the final three in the runoff without wearing a skirt or having implants, mind you. All humor aside, the good news is that I didn’t win, but a genuinely nice girl did which was the point.
Question 9:
Which LAP member once reigned supreme in an underwater pumpkin carving contest, and also suffered from a severe phobia of rubber chickens as a child?
Question 10:
Which LAP member blames their perpetual single-status on the fact that they own neither an iron, nor an oven?
Answer:
As an adult, I’ve struggled with the realization that I am now responsible for buying my own toilet paper and doing my own laundry. To me, buying an oven is one of those things that grown up people do and I’m just not sure I’m ready to be part of the baking crowd. However, if anyone is interested in some microwave popcorn, I’ve got you covered. My house is also a no-ironing zone. If I can’t get the wrinkles out by simply hanging it in the bathroom while I shower then it’s clearly too fancy. I own a lot of cotton.
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damn it and congratulations redhead!
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Thanks for participating \m/
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OMG! I’m laughing and laughing, oh I am so pleased. Thank you everyone, please visualize a curtsy.
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Congratulations! Send me an email at adamsendek@rocketmail.com
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Congrats, and nice job 🙂
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I want you and everybody to know that this was completely randomized, and a shear coincidence that the strategy worked. I was laughing my ass off.
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Reblogged this on AlwaysARedhead and commented:
I won! Thank you Long Awkward Pause.
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Please let us know about all the ways this changes your life so we can tell next year’s contestants what to expect.
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*holds microphone in face*
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🙂
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You’re welcome! The fun part is coming \m/
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How come I’m the only one who didn’t get a plane ticket to Canada to give Catherine her award? Anyway, congratulations! I hope you like rockets and rubber chickens…
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(We didn’t go yet, Ned…)
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I say we go first class on Canadian Airways. Apparently they serve poutine instead of peanuts.
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Oh the fun I can have with rubber chickens!
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Ned, I don’t like poutine,how some Canadian Maple syrup instead?
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Reblogged this on poohloversunite and commented:
Hey, I’ll take 4th place…that’s pretty awesome for just guessing
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I agree, and thanks for playing along!
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Congrats, Catherine!
Damn… I wanted five bucks.
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Hey, me too!!
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Reblogged this on Chowderhead and commented:
Find out the winner of the LAP Pop Quiz contest, and also find out which of those Chiwderheads set off the model rocket in the bedroom…
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Oh, Rocketman, it appears that I have bombed! Dammit! Exclamation marks!!!! I knew the rocket one now, I know it. And the pumpkin and the prom queen answers. What was I thinking? What I really needed was a study guide or a crash course. That would have been helpful. Congrats to Always a Redhead! Well done.
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I’m sorry, Amy. Better luck next time. I didn’t want to leave you off the post, and the goose egg looks like public shaming happening at my hand. I almost inboxed you, but went with my better judgement instead. Also, we have an LAP handbook available for download on your tablet reading device to help you prepare for any future testing. Last I checked it’s selling for one billion dollars. But I think there’s a discount code that should save you about $999,999,999.00, so really it’s only a dollar. So that’s cool.
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I think it’s funny. Of course, this is no reflection of my dedication to LAP. Perhaps, a happy face instead of a zero! 🙂
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You’re a winner in my book. Fuck it.
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Awwwww! You’re the best!
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Reblogged this on ezmeblogs and commented:
Long Pause?
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Boy is this an ‘Awkward’ moment happening right now…
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Underwater pumpkin carving…Impressive.
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It’s on ESPN 8 tonight I think.
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And we have a winner! Congratulations!
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Thank you! Oh wait…yes! Congratulations!
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