It was announced that Ben Affleck was going to play Batman in the new movie: Batman vs. Superman.
And the internet imploded…Rubix’s Cubes solved themselves…Zebras and Lions started dinning together…fruit cakes started selling in droves…
No one wanted Ben Affleck to play Batman. Why? I don’t know. Ben can do brooding and sullen as well as any other actor.
What we don’t understand is why no one is questioning the real impossibility?
Batman fighting Superman! Is there any real contest here? No! Superman is the clear winner.
Let’s break it down:
Batman: A man
Superman: An alien from another planet
Batman: No powers, just a gadget belt and some gadgety vehicles.
Superman: Can fly, shoot lasers, has super strength, healing powers, and invulnerability
Batman Weaknesses: Women, Side Kicks, Gas Prices, The Police, Impersonators, Memories of his Dead Parents, His own multi-million corporation, sleep, Liam Nielson
One punch from Superman and Batman is dead no matter if it’s Ben Affleck, Christian Bale, Michael Keaton, Adam West, or Chris Farley.
End of movie. Roll credits. Give me my $10 bucks back.
The only power Batman has over Superman is that he is a much more interesting character then Superman.
Zack Synder, the director of the Superman vs Batman, released this publicity shot recently:
Batman looks sad. So very sad. We don’t know why Sad Batman is sad and won’t know until the movie is released. So in the meantime, the internet will just have to stick Sad Batman in other…more appropriate…places to be sad.
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