It’s Saturday night on the star ship. You and your fellow hundred companions are off duty for the evening. It’s time to head down to flight deck 12 where the bar is located and get your brew on! So you put on a new, nicely pressed red shirt, which is all you ever wear…whether you’re on duty or not. Don’t worry, it’s all everyone ever wears. You make sure the Starfleet insignia is in the right spot. You don’t want to accidentally run into the captain and have him bitch you out. Besides you want to look your very best in case your called on an emergency teleportation down to the planet the ship is currently circling.
Hopefully that doesn’t happen. Why? Because the Federation of Beer (this is a real thing) has announced their newest brew: Warnog, the Klingon Beer. (This is also a real thing.)
This will be the second in Star Trek beers and will join the emotionless Vulcan Ale:
It will be brewed by the Evansville, Indiana-based Tin Man Brewing Company. According to the press release, the dunkelweizen style beer has an aroma that is “predominantly mild banana and clove” that is “supported by subtle sweet malt character from the use of Munich malt.” Don’t worry, we don’t know what that means either. The beer is 5.5% ABV which is pretty strong, but if our Star Trek Klingon knowledge is correct, they would probably prefer 15.5% ABV, which is enough to kill a baby rhino. Guess what? This isn’t the only TV-based beer coming out. Game of Thrones has Iron Throne Blonde Ale, Take the Black Stout, and Fire and Blood Red Ale. The Walking Dead has a beer called the Dock Street Walker with a special ingredient in it: smoked goat brains. If brewers are looking for this niche in order to sell more beer, we have a few suggestions for them:1) The Big Bang Theory Bold Ale Slogan: Starts with a big bang, hopeful ends up in bed with a big bang. 2) Orange Is The New Black Stout Slogan: Turning straight women into lesbians after three beers. 3) Survivor Malt Slogan: Made with rice, bugs, backstabbing, and lies. 4) How I Met Your Mother Lager Slogan: Also, how you were conceived. 5) Dancing With The Stars Light Slogan: Enough beer in your system and you can dance just like Baryshnikov. —
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