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The Stoopididity of Newspapers

Hola, Y’all!

I am the Fearless Leader of the Dumbass Horde, Head Janitor, Chief Bottle Washer and Man About Town at my blog, Dumbass News.

I have been invited by the fine folks at LAP to regale you with the Magic That Is Dumbassery. When first invited to guest speak at Long Awkward Pause, I thought to myself, “These people are really good writers, but not real bright?”

Upon further review, once I realized that he actually, you know, read Dumbass News, I became 100% certain that he is a butter knife in a steak knife world. But, hey, if he wants drive his blog numbers into the septic tank by asking me to put something together for LAP, who am I to argue? I don’t know the meaning of the word “argue”. Of course I don’t know the meaning of a bunch of words, but that’s neither here nor there.

One thing I do know, however, is stoopididity! And there’s no better place (besides Cal-ee-forn-ya) on The Big Blue Marble to find an Overdose of Stoopid than a newspaper!

Behold the Stoopid!

Who cares?

Dammit! My name is John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!

Finally! A miracle cure for living!

I’ll bet.

I got nothin’.

This is because Republicans have no balls.

Thanks, Long Awkward Pause, for inviting me over!

One more thing…my final offer for this Guest Post is $20!

That’s all I can afford to pay you at the moment.

——

MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:

Facebook: Long Awkward Pause
Twitter: @LongAwkPause
Podcast: iTunes or PodOmatic
 
Would you like to see a topic discussed on L.A.P?  Follow this link HERE.
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About Fearless Leader (1 Article)
I am the Fearless Leader of the Dumbass Horde. The Horde are the readers of my blog, "Dumbass News" (http://www.realdumbassnews.com) (http://dumbassnews.wordpress.com) I am a Texan exiled by the Almighty to New England in order to spread the One True Culture and Wisdom, that of Dumbassery, to the Yankee Masses. The rest of you must read "Dumbass News" on a daily basis and so, you too, will see the Dumbass Light. Resistance is futile. :)

58 Comments on The Stoopididity of Newspapers

  1. Stoopididity always makes me smile. See? ——–> 🙂

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  2. Without editor falils, there would be none of this. Funny.

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  3. Ha, love the Obama one! I wonder if the double entendres just slip by the journalists or if they do it on purpose. A small way to add a little excitement to their day.

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  4. i love these!

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  5. Glad you enjoyed them, Beth! Maybe LAP will let me do this again. Hint. hint. 🙂

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  6. It’s my best side.

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  7. Obama’s package is intimidating, eh? I’m sure all those old, white dudes don’t know what to do about that.

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  8. Nor am I so inclined.

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  9. I just laughed at every one of those. I’m so glad there are stooped people who are so inept at their job that they’ve provided such good giggle material for us!

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  10. Used tombstone?! I want many! Hahaha. That was awesome.

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    • This sounds like something my family would do for me. My (now) 7 year old would grab a Sharpie, cross out the name already on the tombstone and scribble mine on there! I get no respect.

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      • Hahahaha… we have a seven year old as well. I think ours would voice her concern over someone else’s name on the tombstone, shrug her shoulders, then draw rainbows and flowers all over it.

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  11. Eva…They’ll get theirs someday!

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  12. At last! LAP gets what it so desperately needs! 😉

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  13. Oh, my gosh 😀

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  14. I’m pretty sure those are all from the newspaper where I work ( I use “work” loosely).

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  15. Who doesn’t know someone named Homer Hendel Bergen Heinzel?

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  16. You are one funny guy Fearless… not to mention a (secretly) good, good egg! Fun post.

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  17. The Regular Guy NYC // March 26, 2014 at 3:28 pm //

    I really need to start reading the newspaper you read!

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  18. You have a new subscriber.

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  19. Thank you! So do you! 😀

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  20. As you said yourself, I got nothin,’ other than I agree completely that California is the epicenter of Stooopid. Sorry Calahan… not you. You get an exception. And SisterRants.

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  21. Laughing to hard to write

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  22. Thanks for the laughs, Fearless Leader!

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  23. What the frak?
    You rock, my Leader, no question.

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  24. One day children will ask, “Daddy what’s a newspaper?”
    And one day even further in the future, Daddy’s will answer, “Children, I have no frigging idea!”

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